| Match 1 - Robert Newell
Star Trekkers vs Fangorn's Friends Toilet Bowl Round 2 - Atlantis Vulcans may be stronger than humans, but Beorn is quite a bit stronger than any human. He is also much more aggressive. Spock never stood a chance as Beorn ripped his arms off and beat him to a pulp with them. Shortly thereafter, Treebeard hit Odo (who had shapeshifted into a Klingon) so hard that he ended up far out into the water. Odo never learned how to swim and was quickly pulled down in the undertow caused by the sinking city. Gwaihir swooped down, snatched 7 of 9, and took back to the sky. 7 of 9 stabbed the King of the Eagles with her nanoprobes. Unfortunately for her, the mighty bird was over a deep part of the ocean when the borg nanites overcame him. They plunged to their deaths, neither able to swim or fly anymore. Beorn and Treebeard turn on poor Wesley. Beorn stepped forward and [CENSORED FOR EXTREME GRAPHIC VIOLENCE]. Loser: Startrekkers (1-5) Fangorn's Friends (2-4) Match 2 - Mark Ailshie Stallone's Stallions vs. The Power Rangers Toilet Bowl Round 2 - Atlantis Rocky: Yo, Adrian! I'm comin' home! Rambo: <a yell like a bellowing yak> Random Power Ranger: Go, Go, Power Rangers! Tazz: It's on! Rambo and Rocky are armed to the teeth, but it is their sheer ferocity that is their greatest strength. But the Rangers have got numbers, Cole! Michael Cole: Haven't helped them thus far. Rocky snaps the Red Rangers plastic sword in two and decks him with a left hook. He's down! On the reverse swing, he nails the Black Ranger in the stomach, and follows up with a combination uppercut. He's down too! Tazz: And Rambo is slashing with his big knife, opening technicolor throats left and right. Down they go, down they go! Where is Sly in all this, anyway? Michael Cole: I think he went home early, Tazz. No, there he is on the Atlantis Beach, soaking up the sun like the big movie star he is. Tazz: Well, his characters seem to have things well in hand. I don't think the Power Rangers were ever able to make a comeback. Michael Cole: Well, near the end, the Pink Ranger seems to have finally lost her cool a little, and kicked Rocky hard between the legs. Hardly what we've come to expect from the Rangers - maybe we'll see a bit more viciousness next time, eh Tazz? Tazz: Doubtful. In any case, Rambo stabs her in the face and finishes the fight. Barring a low blow this one was all Stallions. Loser: Power Rangers (0-6) Stallone's Stallions (1-5) Match 3 - Brian Ailshie Evil Myths vs Willow & Friends Toilet Bowl Round 2 - Atlantis Brian: We see a huge event happen in the opening moments of this match. Willow blindly throws an acorn at Medusa. Through sheer luck, the acorn hits! Medusa's stony glare goes extra stony. Not Santa: But not in time for the little chocolate men. Brian: They're brownies . . . oh, I get it. That's a bad one. Not Santa: Yeah, both the little guys get stoned! Then the Minotaur charges and reduces them to dust. He tears into Willow. Midget blood splatters all over the wall. Very delightful! Brian: You're sick. Oh, but Razel has used Cherlindria's wand to good effect. She blasts Cerberus with it and douses the great dog's fire. I think the dog's out of this one as the ice forms on his chest. Not Santa: And here comes the Minotaur to finish up. This is gonna be gruesome . . . I can hardly wait! RJ: Won't someone stop him? Not Santa: WHAT! That's impossible. Brian: Apparently not, though it was a surprise. Madden: I'm sorry I missed it. Let's replay it! Jaime: No, just say that Razel flung the Minotaur with her wand, he doesn't swim well, and he drowned. Much faster. Madden: But much less fun than 3 hours of instant replay and commentary from me. You see . . . Loser: Evil Myths (0-6) Willow & Friends (1-4-1) Match 4 - Mark Ailshie Match 1: Mystery Men vs. Autobots Toilet Bowl Round 2 - Atlantis Mr. Furious: I'm about to go Pompei all over you!! GGYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHH!!!! Mark: Mr. Furious launches himself at Bumblebee, punching and kicking and biting and punching some more. Not so effective against metal, but he does succeed finally in smashing one of his windows. Mr. Furious: Ow! My hand! My dang hand! Mark: Bumblebee transforms in an instant, and backhands him into a wall. His spine shatters. Meanwhile, the Shoveler and the Bowler are teaming up against Optimus Prime. The Shoveler shovels well, but again, not much good against metal. Prime is distracted by Carmine the bowling ball flying around his head -- striking against it quite often, but again, not much good against...this is getting tiresome. Bowler: Carmine! Quit messing around and go for the throat! Optimus: Autobots, transform and roll out! Mark: A semi tractor trailer, a race car, and even a Volkswagen bug can do tremendous damage against ordinary men without useful weapons. The Blue Raja hurls forks and spoons and salad tongs, but Mirage just runs him over. The Sphinx: They may transform THEMSELVES, but we must not let them transform US. Shoveler: Huh? Mark: But before he can answer, Prime squashes him beneath his big metal foot. The Bowler throws Carmine, and the Shoveler keeps wacking the Autobots with his shovel, but a few measly dents are all they accomplish. In moments, the Mystery Men are nothing but stains on the marble streets of Atlantis. Loser: Mystery Men (0-5-1) Autobots (1-4-1) |