| Match 1 - RJ Harris
Egyptians vs. Harrison�s Heroes Toilet Bowl Round 1 - Atlantis RJ: So Master Yoda, who do you believe has the advantage here? Yoda: No so much water does Egypt have. Mr. Ford fought in it has he. RJ: Quite true-and again Master Yoda is proven correct rather quickly. Jamie: Jack Ryan, Indiana Jones, and Harrison Ford himself each took out in quick succession, Balthazar, the Scorpion King, and Jesup. A shot to the forehead by guns provided by Indy and then a toss into the sea, did each in. Yoda: Not over is this match yet. Mr. Obvious: Yes, there is still the Rock left to deal with. And my bet is that he can swim and knows how not to get shot. RJ: Yep, he proves that my sneaking up behind Jack Ryan and squeezing the life out of him. He uses Ryan as a human shield and fires back at Harrison. His shot is sure and Ford goes down. The lifeless body of Ryan soon joins him. Jamie: Now that it is down to the Rock versus Indiana, I�m not sure who will win. The Rock starts to chase Dr. Jones all over the sinking city. They are each getting closer to a giant cliff. RJ: Eventually, the Rock catches up to Indy and prepares to throw him over the cliff. Indy pulls out his trusty whip and connects to a nearby pillar. The Rock tosses him off the cliff, but Indy doesn�t fall far. Mr. Obvious: As he begins to climb, the Rock tries to knock Indy off of his life-line whip. Indy reaches the top and grabs onto the Rock�s ankle and pulls the unsuspecting actor/wrestler to his death. I guess the Rock didn�t expect an archeologist to be so strong. RJ: Looks like Harrison�s Heroes win this one and send the still winless Egyptians to the next round. Loser: The Egyptians (0-5) Harrison Heroes (2-3) Match 2 - Brian Ailshie Evil Myths vs Gargoyles Toilet Bowl Round 1 - Atlantis John Madden: Wow! That one was so quick not even instant replay can make much better of it. Jaime: For you that's saying something. Mr. Statistics: I didn't expect the Gargoyles to lose so fast. Medusa just turned them all to stone in the opening second of the match. She sure is happy with herself. Brian: Don't count the Gargoyles out so quick. Madden: What do you mean? Medusa turned them all to stone! Brian: Since the sun is shining, the Gargoyles turn to stone! What the Evil Myths don't realize is that they haven't won and so the match continues. Madden: So what happens now? Brian: Look to the West. Tolkien: Sounds like something I've said. Brian: But look. Madden: So, the sun is going down. So what? Brian: With the setting of the sun, the Gargoyles burst forth from their stony prison. Goliath and his team sneak up on their foes. The Evil Mythis don't see them coming until Brooklyn and Hudson have cut down Cerberus, Goliath takes out the Minotaur a moment later. Madden: Medusa looks confusedly at the Gargoyles. I don't think she's figured out how they returned to life from stone. Mr. Statistics: But the confused look is still a stony look. Broadway returns to stone. Madden: So will he come out of it this time? Brian: The answer to that becomes unimportant as the gleam off Hudson's blade reflects back at Medusa and she is turned to stone herself. Loser: Evil Myths (0-5) Gargoyles (2-3) Match 3 - RJ Harris Crime Lords vs. Willow & Friends Toilet Bowl Round 1 - Atlantis Sportscenter Announcer: Well this one was so quick it is hardly worth mentioning. Lex was too tired of his teammates blowing what his sure wins that he took this one by himself. As Willow and his friends appeared at Atlantis, Luthor violently injected them with many, many bullets. It was quite a fit of rage. Needless to say, the Crime Lords are out of the Toilet Bowl now, but even this lopsided win will not change the fact that in group play they failed miserably. Loser: Willow & Friends (0-4-1) Crime Lords (1-4) Match 4 - Robert Newell Deceptacons vs Stallone's Stallions Toilet Bowl Round 1 - Atlantis Three Stallones are probably even dumber than one. This fact, coupled with their pitiful dearth of firepower and miniscule relative size, made the Stallions no match for the Deceptacons. Megatron crushes them all simultaneously under his metal foot. Loser: Stallone's Stallions 0-5 Deceptacons 1-3-1 |