| Match 1 - Alexander Strub The Fellowship vs. the Boxing Legends Group 'O' - Madison Sq. Gardens "How pitiful," thought Aragorn, "a gladiatorial arena." Madison Square Gardens reminded him of some things he had seen during his numerous encounters with orcs. Despite the more benevolent nature of the events at Madison Square, it seemed to be now overrun with some of the universe's less than savory denizens. "Legolas," asked Aragorn, "what do your elf eyes see?" "The sun is rising with a purplish hue; blood will be spilled this day," came the response. What Legolas did not realize was that he had caught a glimpse of the sailor scouts, and the purplish hue was one of Sailor Mars' famous temper tantrums. Somehow one of the boxers managed to get the drop on the Fellowship, and the match begins as dimwitted Mike Tyson levels a sucker punch right into Gimli's helmet. "Ow!" groans Tyson, I thought it was just some dumb costume!" "Bah," retorts Gimli, "that was a low blow, but you're not even really worth the effort!" Gimli pulled out his largest battleaxe and slashed Tyson across the chest, knocking the numbskull to the ground. The bantam-sized axeman then jumped on the moronic boxer's chest and finished him off with a clean decapitation. George Foreman arrived on the scene just in time to see Tyson's demise. "You're mine, blondie!" he called out to Legolas, "I'ma grill you good!" Legolas pulled out two arrows and shot them both into Foreman, who staggered forward slowly, only to be dispatched by a third arrow in the face. While Foreman was being shot to pieces, Muhammad Ali and his erstwhile nemesis Smokin' Joe Frazier confronted Aragorn. "For future reference," thought Ali, "it's unwise to fight a swordsman with just boxing gloves." That cognition was the last he made before Anduril cut ol' Cassius Clay in half. Joe Frazier didn't have much better luck. The result of his first left hook was that Aragorn cut off his left arm. Enraged and blinded by pain, Frazier lunged for the Dunedain ranger, only to skewer himself on the blade. Legolas and Gimli returned to theier victorious comrade as he wiped the last of Joe Frazier off his blade. "Is that the best you can do, Sauron?" Aragorn shouted. The African-American boxers reminded Aragorn a little of the Haradrim, but these died much more easily. Winners: The Fellowship - (2-1) Boxing Legends - (0-1) Match 2 - Brian Ailshie Nintendo vs Alien Killers Group AB - NCC1701-D "Enterprise" Link: Ok, Megaman. Let's try not to kill everyone else on our team by blowing this whole place up this time ok? Megaman: Sorry 'bout that. Though it did work out alright in the end anyway. Link: Still, there's something about dying and coming back to life that just feels wrong though. Wierd "Al" Yankovic: Hey! You think they'd all be used to dying and then returning to life. That's what happens when ya play the video games. Ya die, over and over, and over, and over . . . Stacey: Yes, we get it. Now move on. Let's try to keep this short and sweet ok. "Al": Sure, short and sweet. Well the Nintendo All Stars are in the little space bar place . . . Picard: It's called 10 forward. "Al": Yeah whatever, remember short and sweet. Anyway, Riddick has his killers charge in firing. The space marines, Ripley and Hudson, blast away with their pulse rifles. Remember that they aren't all that accurate, more destructive than a pitbull on crack. They go flying in shooting anything that moves, or doesn't move. Ripley's first shot blasts a table, her second hit's Samus. Hudson's first shot hit's Megaman, his second hits the bar, and his third punches through the window. With a searing boom noise, the entirety of the bar is sucked into space. Link, Icarus, and the three Alien Killers that charged in all die in moments. Leaving only Riddick behind. It seems he didn't follow his team into the room. Riddick: Well, that worked like a charm. Stupid space marines. Winner: Alien Killers (2-0) Nintendo All Stars (1-1) Match 3 - Mark Ailshie We-sa Gotta Grand Army vs. Autobots Group Z - Ewok Village, Endor "Okay, Autobots," says Prime. "This time, transform and attack from a distance, using our superior weap--" But the mighty transformer's instructions are cut off by a a 'boomba' the size of a basketball punching through his front windshield. Optimus goes down in sizzling death. Bumblebee and Mirage scatter, and manage to avoid a rain of 'boombas' being fired from the ewok catapults. "Draw their fire," commands Mirage, and he fades into the background. Bumblebee complies by firing his little peashooter lazer at the tree tops. By luck, he hits a brown furry form, and Wicket is knocked off his perch to the ground below. "Starten up da shield generator!" shouts Captain Tarpals, and suddenly the ewok village is covered with a shimmering watery barrier that blocks lazer fire. Home court advantage is really helping them out! Bumble bee creeps to the edge of the shield and passes through, opening up his laser as he does so, but suddenly an ewok battle cry is heard to his left. He turns just in time to see a huge log trap sailing from the tallest tree to slam into his body, knocking him with authority into a rock. Bumblebee pops like a ripe piece of fruit. Mirage utters a low cybertronian curse under his breath. He doesn't really have a weapon--just his illusion projector. But he does have his native robot strength. He picks up a rock and shines an illusion of himself at a spot across the field. Shortly, the illusion is spotted. "The mak-i-nek is ova dere!" shouts Jar Jar, and begins swinging a boomba sling. Once the Gungan is distracted, Mirage chucks his rock at its head. Unfortunately for Mirage, Jar Jar has the incredible luck of the foolish. The rock hits him in the shoulder, causing him to release the boomba too early, causing it to fly into the tree straight over Mirage, where it explodes, and rains it's corrosive electronic-destoying goo down upon him. His camoflague shorted, Mirage pops back to view, as he howls in pain. Captain Tarpals is a much better shot that Jar Jar, and ends the Autobot's scream with another well placed boomba in the face. "We-sa won again!" shouts Captain Tarpals. "Yahooo!" says Jar Jar, and slips in the mud, landing on his rump. Winners: We-sa Gotta Grand Army (2-0) Autobots (0-2) Match 4 - Robert Newell Da Bears vs The Shadow Group W - Pride Rock Baloo was singing some song about the bare necessities, or was it the bear necessities?, oh well whatever, as the gholam snuck silently up behind him. Baloo was no dummy and had been watching the grown man for a while. He thought it was a man, he couldn't have been more wrong. As the gholam got right behind him, Baloo swung his paw with all his might. The gholam seemed to move like water and flowed around the swing, ripping Baloo's throat out. It paused momentarily to feed. The carebear and Zummi gummi had an ambush of their own planned. The gummy bear bounced out in front of the myrdraal to get it's attention. As the halfman ran to pursue the bear, the carebear (Funshine bear in this case) launched a carebear stare at it. The results were not pretty. The fade was blasted out of existence. Funshine bear started sobbing uncontrollably. Carebear stares were supposed to make people nice. He thought that the stare would have brought the myrdraal over to their side. Zummi gummi bounced over to quiet the disconsolate Funshine bear. Neither one noticed Padan Fain sneak up behind them and they died screaming as Fain's dagger caused them to rot to death. Reinvigorated by the blood, the gholam stalked Kenai. The poor Disney bear/man never had a chance. The gholam literally ripped him in half. As he died he returned to manshape. The gholam was pleased to feed on man's blood again. The bear's blood had been like drinking sewage, this was like a fine wine. Winner: The Shadow (2-2) The Bears (0-3) Match 5 - Brian Ailshie Star Trek's Next Generation vs Pixilated Pugilists Group AB - NCC1701-D "Enterprise" Riker: That last match was not good. We've got to be more cautious. Computer! Find all life forms onboard. Computer Voice: There are 8 life forms currently on board. Riker: List life forms and locations of each. Computer: Lt. Worf is on deck 7; Commander Data is on Deck 9; Lt. Yar is in Holodeck 3; Commander Riker is on Deck 7; and there are 4 unknown human life forms on decks 6, 7, 9, and 10. Riker taps his communicator. "Riker to Worf. Meet me in section C of Deck 7." Worf: I'm on my way commander. Riker: And be careful, there's an intruder on this deck too. Riker to Commander Data. Start toward Deck 7. Worf and I will try to meet up with you. Data: Yes Commander. There is an intruder near me, but I will join you presently. Riker: Excellent Data, keep us informed about that intruder. Riker to Lt. Yar. Can you join up with Commander Data on Deck 9? There is no answer. "Lt. Yar, do you copy?" still no answer. "Computer, locate Lt. Tasha Yar." Computer: Lt. Yar is in section D of Deck 10. Her life signs are fading. Riker: What about the intruders? Computer: The intruder on deck 10 is in close proximity to Lt. Yar's body. The intruder on Deck 9 is attacking Commander Data. The other 2 intruders are on deck 7 Section D. Worf: Commander Riker, the two intruders are just over here. There is a man and a woman. Each is heavily armed. Riker: All right, let's take them out then go rescue Data. Riker and Worf attack Duke Nukem, who fires on them and accidentally hits Lara Croft who is in the middle of the fray. After a moment, Nukem and Croft both have fatal phaser wounds. Meanwhile, on Deck 10, Scorpion has caught and killed Tasha Yar. A loud voice yells "FATALITY!" On Deck 9, Sub-Zero uses a freeze blast on Data, then runs in to "FINISH HIM!" Unfortunatly for the MK Ninja, the android doesn't freeze like a human. As Sub-Zero lunges at the android, Data grabs him and hurls him against a wall. A short phaser blast later, Data heads for Deck 7. Data meets up with Riker & Worf on Deck 8 as they come up to join him. The three of them then use the computer to track down Scorpion. They catch him on Deck 11. He hurls his hooked spear, which lodges in Worf's neck, but before he can yell "COME HERE!" Riker and Data blast him with their phasers. Winner: Star Trek's Next Generation (1-2) Pixilated Pugilists (0-1) Match 6 - Alexander Strub The Last Alliance of Men and Elves vs. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Group V - Minas Morgul The Fortress of Minas Morgul glows a sickly green in perpetual night. Dr. Jekyll is overcome by the dark energies of Mordor's black sorcery and transforms into Mr. Hyde. Hyde is at home in the gloom and creeps in the shadows seeking his enemies. Suddenly he is pinned to the ground by a thrust from Gil-galad's long spear. Alan Quartermain confronts Isildur with his elephant gun. Isildur is armed with a mithril sword and shield, but no ranged weapon. To be fair, Quartermain draws his machete and prepares for a duel. Isildur's bastard sword far outclasses Quartermain's knife, and the explore is soon missing a hand, as well as the blade it held. As a last resort, Quartermain dashes for his gun and fires point blank at Isildur. Nothing happens. Isildur finishes the beleaguered Brit off. Apparently mithril can stop bullets too. Captain Nemo pulls out a complicated gizmo that he's apparently invented and aims it at Elendil's head. Elendil slices the gadget with his sword Narsil and the resulting explosion kills them both. As Gil-galad cleans Dr. Hyde's foul innards off of his weapon, Tom Sawyer calls out to him "Hey Mister! Want to help me paint my fence?", while secretly loading his revolver behind his back. The Elven King is not fooled by the American's paltry attempt at guile and throws his spear like a javelin, pinning Sawyer to the walls of the fortress. The dark magic quickly dissolves Tom's corpse. In the meantime, Skinner is attempting to get the drop on Elrond. However, Elrond has the gift of foresight and senses the Invisible Man's presence. He calls upon the light of his father Earendil, the Evenstar who walks the skies bearing the Silmaril, and a blast of holy light falls from the heavens, disintegrating Skinner. J.R.R. Tolkien: "Come on, the Last Alliance held off Sauron at Mt. Doom for days, they could have eliminated those lollygaggers in less time than that." Peter Jackson: "Well, that Last Alliance battle only lasted a few minutes in my movie -- I don't know about that." Alexander Strub: "Your prologue took longer than it took me to write that match, bro. They win. Fast." Winner: Last Alliance (1-0) League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (0-1) Match 7 - Mark Ailshie Brotherhood of Mutants vs. X-men Group Z - Ewok Village, Endor Wolverine smells deeply, and his claws snikt out. "We got company, bub," he says to Cyclops. "We know," Cyclops answers. "Jean, where are they?" "Approaching from the south," answers Jean. "Good," says Cyclops. "We'll surround them and take them by surprise. Logan, you...Where's Logan?" They all look around, but Wolverine is gone. Magneto and his cohorts stride through the woods in plain view. Sabertooth alone seems agitated. He lets out a low growl. "Relax, my friend" says Magneto calmly. "We've beat these four before. All we need to do is get them to come to us." "I smell him," says Sabertooth. They all stop, listening to the woods. With a roar, Wolverine plunges out of the shrubs, claws flashing. Sabertooth screams once and falls dead. Lady Deathstrike extends her own claws and leaps to attack him. They both stop in mid air. "That was rather stupid, my friend," says Magneto calmly, and begins to bend Wolverine's metal bones in half, while lowering Lady D to the ground. "That was too blatant," says Mystique. "It feels like a trap." As if to give force to her words, a blast of lazer light pierces the clearing, searing the flesh off Lady Deathstrike's metal bones, which fall in a heap. Cursing, Magneto crushes Wolverine's spine, twists his body in half, and sends him sailing like a human-sized missile in the direction of the laser blast. Cyclops shouts once, and is impaled on a tree. "Find cover," Magneto barks, but suddenly, the wind picks up, and Mystique sails away in a rush of wind. Storm appears, hovering in the wind, her eyes a blinding white. Magneto scowls, and picks up several metal-containing stones, whipping them at Storm with lethal effect. But each stone is either overpowered by the wind or struck down with lightning. "It's only a matter of time, girl," Magneto taunts. Storm answers with a few well timed bolts of lightning to make Magneto jump. Meanwhile, Jean Grey is watching the battle from a distance with her mind, when she is surprised to see her husband appear from behind a tree, nursing a tremendous bloody wound. "Jean," he calls. "Help me!" "Scott!" she calls, and steps over to him. "I thought you were dead!" "I almost was," he answers grimly. "Can you do something about this wound?" "Of course I can," answers Jean, and yanks Scott off his feet with her telekinesis, bashing him against three trees in quick succession. "I can make it real." "Scott" groans in pain and changes back into Mystique. Jean drives a stone into her head with her powers, a tear in her eyes. "You should know better than to try that on me," she whispers. With a sigh, she turns her attention back to Storm and Magneto. Using her powers, Jean Grey begins sending some of the rocks back at Magneto, striking him in the head and chest, until the super-villain is getting very frustrated with the battle. Finally, he uses his power to erect a force-field that will keep out any stone with even a fragment of metal. But, such a strong magnetic field works almost as a lightning rod. Storm drives a bolt into him, and Magneto falls dead. Winner: X-men (1-0) Brotherhood of Mutants (1-1) Match 8 - Alexander Strub Heroes of Lonely Mountain vs. the Random Team Group U - Arrakeen "Are we finished yet?" Kili and Fili asked their recalcitrant uncle. "No. Keep on hitting him." Thorin replied. His nephews complied and continued to smash their heavy dwarven axes into the remnants of the unsuspecting Johnny 5. "You are finished, dwarf!" Van Pelt muttered to himself triumphantly as he leveled his sights on Thorin. "Bang" went the gun and Thorin turned around, surprised. "Blast" thought Van Pelt "How could I have missed!" He fired again, with no result. (Apparantly mithril really does stop bullets.) "Bard!" shouted Thorin, "Will you solve that problem?" Bard pulled his Black Arrow out of his quiver. "Black Arrow, I have always recovered you. I had you from my father and he from of old. If ever you came from the forges of the true King Under the Mountain..." He was interrupted by Thorin "Just shoot the blasted fool!!!" Bard complied and pierced Van Pelt's heart. Herbie the Love Bug was running wild. Fili threw one of his smaller axes threw the windshield, but it was not enough to stop it from running over Kili. Bard pulled out another arrow, this time shooting out one of the tires. Herbie skidded, slid and crashed into a nearby structure, which collapsed on it, ending its days of annoying small children who would rather have gone to see a good Disney movie like the Sword in the Stone. Poor Kids. Casper floated over to Thorin, Bard and Fili. "What are you doing?" he asked them. "Aah!" cried Bard, "An evil spirit!" "Away foul specter!" screamed Fili. I shall soon finish this dread wight!" Thorin snorted. He drew Orcrist and slashed at Casper. Apparently the elvish enchantments on the blade had been prepared not only against goblins, but also the barrow-wights. Thus, the mighty weapon ended Casper's cutesy undeath. Following the strange looking demise of Casper, Gumbi approached the three. "Will you be my friend?" he asked Thorin. Thorin's only response was to stick Orcrist in him, sizzling the stretchy creature like a roast. Thorin had a difficult time getting his sword out of Gumbi's sticky corpse, and had to spend hous cleaning green jello off the blade before he could see the familiar blue glow again, Winner: Heroes of Erebor and Dale (1-0) Random Team (0-1) Match 9 - Mark Ailshie WAW vs. Boxing Legends Group O - Madison Sq. Garden Lt. Marco blinks. "Wait a minute. What just happened?" His cousin, Corporal Chiropractor, shrugs his shoulders. "It seems someone thought we couldn't win that match without weapons." "Without weapons?" Marco asks incredulously. "What about your automatic rifle? What about my rifle with bayonet? What about Death Wish's knife-studded baseball bat? Aren't those weapons?" "Well, maybe someone just didn't care one way or the other," says the All Star. "In any case, let's get down to business, here." As the highflyer speaks, four massive men in boxing trunks step through the curtain and stride toward the ring. Lt. Marco raises his rifle to his shoulder. "I can take them all out from here," he states. He was a green beret, after all, and is just as vicious behind a gun as inside a wrestling ring. "No," says a deep voice behind him, and Marco instantly lowers the gun. "They are unarmed," continues the deep bass rumble of Brian the Giant. "It would be cowardly to strike at unarmed men with weapons." Privately, Marco thinks that honor has no place in a tournament like this, but since the massive Giant could squash him like a grape--and has on many occasions--he decides to go along with his leadership, at least on the surface. He removes the bayonet and stows it inside his fatigues, and tosses the rifle to the ground. The corporal follows suit. Only Death Wish still holds his weapon, a deep scowl on his face. The Giant shakes his head. "Death Wish, you take Tyson. All Star and Chiropractor, face Ali. Marco, take Joe Frazier. I'll take George Foreman." The wrestlers fan out to intercept their chosen opponents. Marco picks out Joe Frazier and beckons him into the ring. Joe looks warily at the guns beside the ring, but Lt. Marco spreads his hands soothingly. "No weapons. I'll fight you hand to hand. Trust me." Joe Frazier grunts and steps into the ring, his fists held ready. Marco waits, balanced on the balls of his feet. Frazier fires out a quick combination, but Marco ducks under his punch and twists around behind him, locking one arm in a partial chicken wing. Frazier tries to free his arm, but before he can do so, Lt. Marco whips his bayonet out of his shirt and slices his throat from ear to ear. Frazier falls without a gurgle. Marco wipes the blade on the fallen boxer's trunks and stows the knife back in his shirt. Let Brian the Giant have his honor, but Lt. Marco would always rather be dishonorable and alive. Meanwhile, Death Wish approaches Tyson, brandishing his bladed bat. Iron Mike keeps his fists up, his eyes smoldering like coals. Death Wish swings, but Mike dodges and the bat smashes into the metal guardrail, bending it. Mike Tyson shoots an uppercut into the gang-member's face, drawing blood. Death Wish roars with his well known rage and seizes Tyson in a massive bear-hug. Mike seizes Death Wish's ear in his teeth and tears it off. Death Wish cries out in surprise and pain and drops him, and Iron Mike finishes him off with a double combination that knocks Death Wish out cold. Mike seizes the unconscious wrestler by the neck and snaps it. All Star and the Corporal line up against Ali, but Ali is unintimidated. The former Cassius Clay absorbs their attacks, and then fires back with fierce, well timed punches and combinations. In short order, All Star and Chiropractor are unconscious. However, Ali is not as bloodthirsty as Iron Mike--he doesn't stop to finish them off, but moves away from them. Meanwhile, Brian the Giant has made short work of George Foreman. Foreman had fired two big "soupstirrers" at the Giant, connecting against his gut, but Brian just shrugs them off, and then yanks the huge boxer over his head and delivers a massive brainbuster suplex. Foreman's own weight comes crashing down on his head, cracking his skull in three places. The Giant squares off against Ali. Ali hesitates. Brian the Giant is seven feet tall, almost five hundred pounds, and built like a massive oak tree. He has no visible weaknesses, and Ali just watched him lift the three-hundred-pound Foreman over his head as if he were a child. Small wonder he hesitates. The two lock up, and the Giant has the obvious advantage. Ali begins to float like a butterfly, but the Giant's attacks sting like a five hundred pound bumblebee. Brian picks Ali up over his head and tosses him into the ring. Meanwhile, Lt. Marco and Iron Mike have found one another. Lt. Marco strikes a martial arts defense stance, and Tyson attacks like a human tornado. Marco evades many of his attacks, but one that scores knocks him silly. Marco falls to the floor, reeling from the blow. Iron Mike stands over him, preparing to finish him, when Marco suddenly yanks the bayonet out of his shirt and whips it into Mike's shoulder. Tyson roars in rage, and yanks it out again, but now Marco has regained some of his equilibrium, and Mike's right arm is too injured to fight with. Marco circles to the left, firing kicks and punches at Mike's unprotected side. Angered, Mike lashes out with his left, but Lt. Marco dodges and snakes one arm around Mike's throat, locking on an inverted sleeper hold. Iron Mike struggles and thrashes--and he can thrash harder than most--but Marco doggedly hangs on. In moments, Iron Mike begins to go out, the blood flow to his brain being cut off. While he is out, Marco drops him, retrieves his knife, and opens the champion's throat. Meanwhile, Ali and the Giant are fighting in the center ring. Ali's fists seem ineffective against the Giant's legendary endurance, while Brian the Giant bounces off the ropes with splashes and dropkicks that send the boxer reeling. Finally, the Giant seizes him by the ankles and launches him out of the ring and into the first row of seats. Ali lands wrong, and his neck whips backward at an unnatural angle. Somewhere a bell rings, and a voice intones "The winner of this match, and STILL, ETERNAL CHAMPION of the World Association of Wrestling...Brian the Giant! Winners: WAW wrestlers (1-1) Boxing Legends (0-2) Match 10 - Robert Newell Team Dragon Reborn vs The Great Cats Group W - Pride Rock "Come sister, we will hunt lion like I did when I was still a maiden of the spear" Aviendha said as she tried to coax Elayne. "You may come as well Min Farshaw" Aviendha was still not completely comfortable around Min. "Alright, alright, we're coming" Elayne and Min said in unison. That had happened frequently since their bonding. What other side effects would crop up. "Don't be too long" Rand said "There may be more dangers around". They had just gotten out of sight when Rand found himself standing face to face with the largest lion he had ever seen. "What do you seek chosen one?" Aslan said. Rand clutched his head and began repeating "I'm not mad, I'm not mad. I can't be mad yet" "No, son of Adam, you are not mad. Again I ask, what do you seek?" Rand started laughing to himself, "Okay I'll humor you. I want to do what I have to do... die that is, and still live. I love Elayne, Aviendha, and Min too much to lose them, but I have to die to save the world. And here I am talking to a lion. I am crazy" "No son of Adam, you have a good heart and noble intentions. It may yet be that you will live to be with your wives. Be strong. Stay true to yourself. You know what you must do, and only you can do it. I will help you however I can." Aslan said softly as he laid a paw on Rand's head. "You must go on. Do what must be done, but let those around you do their part as well. You must go on." And with that, Aslan disappeared. Rand didn't think that that converstaion had taken very long, but from around the rock that had disappeared behind, Aviendha, Elayne, and Min returned. They had the pelts of two lions and a tiger with them. "That was too easy" Min complained "Well it was either use the Power or try killing them with our belt knives" Elayne retorted. Winners: Team Dragon Reborn (2-0) Losers: The Great Cats (2-2) Match 11 - Mark Ailshie Pokemon vs. Leaders of Evil Group AA - Shrek's Swamp Ash is confused. He seems to remember dying in this swamp already. He creeps to the water's edge and peeks in, just to make sure he's not in there. A tentacle snakes out and grasps him by the throat, and Ursula appears out of the swamp, laughing as only she can. "Pidgeot," Ash chokes out, "Wing attack!" The red ball falls, the giant bird appears, and slashes the witch's tentacles with his wings. Ursula drops the boy in shock, then turns her attention to the bird. She points her staff at Pidgeot, and blasts it summarily out of the sky. If Ash had been watching, he might have thought Pidgeot had changed into a Moltres. But he's not watching. He's dropping another poke-ball. "Pikachu, Thunder attack!" "Pika-CHOOOOOO!!!" The sky parts. A humongous bolt of pure lightning strikes the witch, and she bursts into calimari. But Ash doesn't have the time to rest. A blast of Ice hits the ground where he was standing seconds before, and suddenly he finds himself facing the awesome might of Chaos: half man, half dragon, all power, with the capability to launch a hundred awesome spells at him. On his shoulder stands Ra, whispering strategy in his ear. He whose strategies have won him a dozen worlds and a thousand lifetimes. But Ash knows none of this. All he sees is the Ice. "Charizard! I choose you! And Venusaur, and Blastoise too!" Instantly, the three huge pokemon are confronting Chaos. They are each the same size as he. But, of course, not nearly as tough. Ra whispers a suggestion, and Chaos chants his "Rub" spell on Blastoise. The Giant turtle fades out of existence. "Venusaur! Vinewhip attack!" The plant/dino whips vines at Chaos, and suddenly he is entangled in them. He snarls with rage, But Ra whispers another idea. Chaos casts "Nuke," and Venusaur, a grass type and vulnerable to fire, shrivels and dies. But Ash has some more tricks. "Charizard, flamethrower attack!" Charizard breathes flame at Chaos. Chaos is mostly unaffected, however Ra--who was killed with fire, sort of, in the movie--is burnt to cinders and dies. Chaos leaps to attack, wrestling with the giant dragon. Ash gets caught with a tail swipe, and falls to the ground. His last ball falls open. "Jiggly!" "Oh, no!" says Ash. Jigglypuff takes out her microphone and starts singing! "Jigglypuff, jiggly-puuuff, Jiggly puuuff, jiggly-puff" Chaos, Ash, and Charizard fall asleep. Jiggly puff notices everyone has fallen asleep and isn't listening to her music. Incensed, she takes out her sharpie and begins writing moustaches and black eyes on everybody's faces. Then she runs off. By sheer luck, Ash awakes first. Quickly, he shoves an "awakening" into Charizard, and then... "Charizard, Slash attack!" Charizard slashes Chaos at his sleeping throat, and the great warrior falls dead. Winner: Pokemon (1-1) Leaders of Evil (0-1) |