| Match 1 - Brian Ailshie Aes Sedai vs. Nazgul Quarter Finals Bracket 4 - Bonneville Salt Flats Brian: Lan takes out Khamar the Easterling with a sword maneuver something like butter slides on warm toast, but then he succumbs to the Black Death caused by harming a Nazgul. John Madden: Meanwhile, Moiraine battles Akhorakil and is doing ok. She is blasting him with jets of air, but he somehow is able to deflect or dodge them. Brian: Nynaive isn't doing as well though. It seems she is paralyzed with fear trying to fight the Witch King. Hovering over her, his beast strikes her down. The Witch King then rescues his nearly defeated Lt. While the beast eats. Together the two Nazgul overpower Moiraine. Winners: Nazgul (5-1) Aes Sedai (5-1) Match 2 - Mark Ailshie New Jedi Knights vs. Incredibles Quarter Finals Bracket 1 - Ancient Babylon Comic Book Guy: First of all, I resent being called Mark's alter-ego! True, Mark tends to write me, but I am my own character with my own predudices and opinions. Thank you very much! Not Santa: Besides, Ho, Ho, Ho! Anybody can see that I'M Mark's alter-ego! Malissant: Or me. Comic Book Guy: Yaah! Who let the Dark Shehap in the announcer's booth? Well, anyway, now it seems I have to watch this pale, stupid rip off the Fantastic Four battle to the death with the Skywalker clan. Still no Slave outfit on Leia. >Sigh< Malissant: This young pup Luke Skywalker is unworthy of all the attention he's been getting. Behold how hesitates to act. There is the overgrown father within easy reach of his vaunted force powers, and he hesitates to act, prefering to warn him of his approach first. Fool! Now he is able to fight him in a fair contest. Not Santa: Well, Mara Jade's got none of that sportsmanship! She ignites her lightsaber and plunges into battle, swinging with reckless abandon at lil tykes with forcefields and super speed. Looks like Mara's not the friendly matronly type! Violet's head spins like a top, and Dash slips in his sister's blood, and finds himself impaled on... Comic Book Guy: 'Nuff said! Worst Santa Claus Ever! But now Frozone blasts Mara with frost, and Mara is suddenly not nearly as hot as the fanboys make her out to be! Not Santa: Right you are, CBG! A scarlet-maned Jadesicle with a creamy center! Ohh! And now Frozone kicks her over the wall, and she plummets to the rocks below! Ho, ho! Her bones shatter into powdery... Malissant: And Leia and Elastigirl are tangling with... CBG: Ohh! I'd love to get tangled with either of... Malissant: Leia uses her blast-cannon, shooting with tolerable accuracy, but Elastigirl is evading her shots by... CBG: So f-lll-exible! Woo-hoo! Malissant: Leia is beginning to tire, but she... CBG: Oh, ye gods of the rumble, why no Olympic mud-wrestling tournament featuring Slave-Girl Le... Malissant: Gaah! Let's leave the ladies and return to Luke and Mr. Incredible. CBG: Oh, please! Mr. Incredible, Mr. Fantastic! I wonder how Pixar figured THAT out! >>FWOOSH<<< Not Santa: Now, now, Malissant! Don't be naughty! You know you're not supposed to charcoal the announcers. >>FWOOSH<<< Malissant: There. Now, it seems Mr. Incredible and Frozone are teaming up on Luke, but Luke waves a hand at Frozone, and suddenly the Icy-warrior is coninced that they've already won. He settles back and begins to make himself a cold drink. Meanwhile, Luke has finally stopped holding back on Mr. Incredible, and the muscle-bound warrior discovers quickly that he is not immune to lightsaber wounds. But Leia is now tied up with Elastigirl's stretchy limbs. She is choking the Princess with her elbows. Go on! Choke her! Choke her! Wring her neck until it's the width of a dried reed! Make her... Not Santa: Calm down there, Malissant. Luke's coming to her aid... Malissant: Wha! How are you still alive? Not Santa (waving scythe): Hello? Jolly and Immortal, remember? And Luke reaches out with the force and chokes Elastigirl like he did to that cute little pig-fellow in Jabba's palace. Not enough to kill, just to get her off Leia's back. She lets the Princess go, and in a few seconds, Leia has stuffed the muzzle of her blaster down her throat. Whoa! Looks like that outfit is flexible enough to balloon out just like Jiffy-pop popcorn. Malissant: And now, the Skywalkers stand triumphant. It takes them a moment to notice Frozone, still doing a victory dance behind them. My, but he IS weak-minded, isn't he? Not Santa: Ho, ho! But Leia wraps up a special present for him and Luke delivers it with the force--a Thermal detonator! Frozone takes it, not sure what exactly it is, and then--KABOOM!!! Ho, ho, I haven't seen an explosion like that since I stopped skeet-shooting the reindeer when they got too old to pull my sleigh! Winners: New Jedi Knights (5-1) Incredibles (5-1) Match 3 - RJ Harris Sith Lords vs. Solo�s Smugglers Quarter Finals Bracket 3 - Stone of Tear RJ: Well, George, this looks like quite the match-up. One of your teams must defeat and kill the other. Who is your money on? Lucas: Well, the Sith are very powerful enemies; however, Han and his group are undefeated and have prevailed against these foes in the past. We�ll just have to wait and see. RJ: Spoken like a true Rose Bowl Grand Marshall. Congratulations. (Lucas nods the acceptance of this praise.) Mark: Can we get down to the fighting already? RJ: Oh, yes. Han, Chewy, and Co. arrive in the large throne room of the S.O.T. Lobot as instructed is waiting in a separate corridor. The Lords of the Sith are there waiting for them. Darth Vader is sitting on the highest throne, Dooku at his right, Maul at his left. Count Dooku: We have foreseen your arrival and demise weak ones. Now you shall have the pleasure of seeing for yourselves. (He sends forth a shot of Force Lightning and fries Lando into a Bespin crispy-Han and Chewy dive for cover; Lobot retains his cover.) Homer: Did someone say there were Rice Crispies here? (The others nod no; Homer leaves disappointed.) Han: (Suddenly with an idea-he tells Chewy to join Lobot in sneaking behind the thrown) Hey Vader-I thought there was only supposed to be two of you guys at once-what�s up with 3 of ya? Vader: (Slowly rising) The smuggler is correct. One of you must die-fight! RJ: Maul goes after Dooku like the Count had severely insulted his mama. As powerful as Darth Tyrannus is, he is not a match for the kung-fu style and double lightsaber action of Maul. Soon Dooku is once again handless and headless. Mark: Meanwhile, Lobot and Chewy have continued to sneak to the back of the Great Throne and just as he is about to blast Vader, Lobot flies through the air and lands hard against the opposite wall, a sick crunch of metal and bones echoes after his limp body finally falls to the floor. The commotion did distract Maul enough for Chewbacca to fill him with enough crossbow arrows to look like a giant birthday cake and hides again. Mr. Obvious: It is now down to 2 on 1. Han and Chewy verses Vader. RJ: Han comes out of his hiding and speaks to Vader again. Han: OK, Vader. We all know who you really are-Luke told me. Leia knows too. They both believe there is still good in you. I know that too. You could have thrashed us when we got here and you didn�t. This Rumble is bigger than you and me and this war. You hate to see those you love suffer. I am thinking we can settle this without the Force; just a straight blaster duel-me and you? What do ya say? Vader: No. RJ: And with that single word, Chewy rushes out to strike. Every shot he fires falls dead and soon he is suspended in air-unable to breathe. Han takes out his blaster and finds he is aiming it at his own head. Long after the smoke fades and the blast echo ends, Chewy�s legs finally stop kicking. Han lies dead and as Vader drops Chewbacca to the floor, he turns on his heals and stalks out. Winners: Sith Lords (5-1) Solo's Smugglers (5-1) Or here's Mark's version if you like Match 3a - Mark Ailshie Solo's Smugglers vs. Sith Lords Quarter Finals Bracket 3 - Stone of Tear Lando opens the battle with an all out charge, screaming in panic as he charges at Darth Maul. In surprise, Darth Maul decapitates him without a second's thought. Thus, he is caught in the explosion when the thermal detonator Lando was holding behind his back explodes. The air around Vader and Dooku suddenly sizzles with blaster fire. Solo and Chewbacca fire blast after blast from behind cover, but Dooku calmly repels them with his blade, and Vader simply blocks them with his hands. Out of nowhere, Lobot charges them from the other side. But this time, Vader is prepared. Instead of killing him outright, he picks him up with the force and flings him with the force of a cannon into the wall where Chewbacca is hiding. The explosion from this thermal detonator blasts a collosal hole in the side of the Stone of Tear, and splatters the walls with blood and wookie-fur. Han screams in pain, and renews his assault on Dooku. But now, he is outnumbered and outmatched. Dooku calmly, with an arrogant look of disdain upon his face, repels the attacks, until Vader turns to face the correlian pirate, and uses the force to crush his windpipe like a stalk of celery. Winners: Sith Lords (5-1) Solo's Smugglers (5-1) Match 4 - Brian Ailshie The D.A. vs Tolkien's Heroes Quarter Finals Bracket 2 - Lamp Post Woods of Narnia Bilbo uses the ring to sneak up on Neville and back stabs him. However, Harry is also invisible and sees his friend fall. The two lock in combat invisibly. Meanwhile Gandalf, ever the gentle hero, has convinced Hermione and Ron that they should seek each others company outside the wardrobe. He sees Harry when the Cloak falls back and mericfully ends the combat. Radagast awakes from a long conversation with several of the local trees. Winners: Tolkien's Heroes (5-1) The D.A. (3-3) |