| Match 1 - Mark Ailshie Dark Shehaps vs. True Soldiers Quarter Finals Bracket 4 - Bonneville Salt Flats The Soldiers have one major problem in this match: nowhere to hide. The endless white sand leaves very few places for them to hide behind and shoot from. Private Jackson tries to climb a dune to get a proper angle for his sniper skills, but Malissant summons a Storm Chariot and charges directly in his direction. Apparently, he hasn't forgotten how Jackson's sniper skills had finished him off in the first rumble. Jackson turns his rifle on the Dark Shehap, but Malissant flicks a hand and the gun is engulfed in strange purple flames. Another flick of the hand and Jackson's head explodes into a fine red mist. Major Plumley doesn't fare much better against Gasponac. The self-proclaimed God of Fire has transformed himself into a ten foot colossus, ringed in flame. He spurts a blast of fire at Plumley, turning him to ashes. Meanwhile, Hal Moore and Shifty Powers open up their weapons on Korps, but the bullets cannot penetrate Korps' cloak. The shehap draws his long black sword and strides forward. "Run for it, Colonel!" Shouts Powers, as he pulls a grenade from his belt and charges at Korps. Korps is momentarily taken aback, but smoothly decapitates the Sergeant, then continues to advance upon Moore. >>BOOOM<< The grenade goes off, showering Korps and Moore with sand. Moore throws the sand off himself and whirls around with his rifle, looking for another target. But Korps comes out of the sand as well. He is shaken, but not defeated. As Moore raise his rifle, Malissant lands on one side of him in a cloud of wind, and Gasponac strides up on the other side, a demon wreathed in flame. Moore know it is hopeless, but he will go down fighting. He opens up his muzzle, screams like an animal, and fires all around. Three rays of malicious force strike him as one, and he is frozen, incinerated, and then blasted to atoms with malice. Winners: Dark Shehaps (4-1) True Soldiers (3-2) Match 2 - Brian Ailshie Classic Monsters vs NY Heroes Quarter Finals Bracket 3 - Stone of Tear John Madden: This one starts quick! Spiderman wraps up Imhotep with webbing and goes after Frankenstein. Elektra goes after the wolfman. She jabs at him with her sais and he gnashes at her with his teeth. Al Michaels: It's a double hit! The wolfman tears a huge chunk from Elektra's shoulder, blood spurts everywhere! However she rams her sai home in the wolf's chest. He howls in pain and begins to revert back to human form as Elektra's life blood oozes onto the floor of the Stone of Tear. Mr. Statistics: Must have been some silver in the blades of her sais. Too bad it didn't save her. Madden: Meanwhile, Daredevil is sneaking along a back passageway as silent as only a superhero can. Michaels: Except, Ct. Dracula has snuck upon him as stealthily as only the king of the undead can. His hands flash and his mouth opens. The valiant superhero falls. Madden: That brings us down to Spidey against Frankenstein. Michaels: With the Count ready to aid his ally soon. Frank only needs to hold Spiderman off long enough. He's been trying to evade the webslinger, and now he finally runs out of space in the stone. He turns around and grapples the wall crawler. Frankenstein is blessed with super human strength, but so is Spiderman. Web Head snaps Frank's arms aside and smashes his head into Frank's face. A well placed shot of webbing knocks the re-animated man into a huge fireplace. Madden: Only just in time too. Here comes Dracula. Spiderman's 'spidey-sense' must have warned him, because he dodged aside just in time to miss being impaled by a spear the Count seems to have taken from somewhere. The point impales into the stone wall and quivers there for a moment. Spidey jumps to the ceiling and crawls quickly aside as the Count lunges at him. Spidey jumps again, but this time Dracula catches him. He grabs Spiderman by the shoulders and hauls the webslinger into his embrace. Michaels: But with the flexibility of a spider, Web Head brings his legs up and pushes the Count back with all of his strength. The Count stumbles back. Suddenly a rictus of pain spreads across his face. He looks down and sees the back end of the spear protruding from his chest. Madden: It seems that Spiderman launched the Count into the wooden 'stake' of the spear and saved himself, more by luck than anything. Winners: N.Y. Heroes (5-0) Classic Monsters (3-2) Match 3 - Robert Newell Zartan & Dreadnocks vs. G.I. Joe Ninjas Quarter Finals Bracket 3 - Stone of Tear Robert: The Dreadnocks are pathetic. Buzzer is already dead. Alexander: Yeah, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow together are deadly. Robert: Perhaps I spoke too soon. Scarlet and Jinx manage to kill Ripper, but he his grenades al went off when he died, killing the two female Joes. Alexander: Maybe Jinx really was bad luck? Robert: Well she can't be anymore now that she is dead. So now it is two on two. The labyrithine hallways of the Stone have totally confused the remaining Dreadnock. He is hopelessly lost. Alexander: Ouch, he just hopelessly lost his head to Snake Eyes! Robert: And Storm Shadow has found Zartan. The Cobra ninja knows Zartan too well to be fooled by his disguises. Shuriken to the face, sword to the throat; game, set, match. Winners: GI Joe Ninjas (5-0) Zartan & Dreadnocks (2-2-1) Match 4 - Brian Ailshie Vampire Slayers vs. The Goblins Quarter Finals Bracket 1 - Ancient Babylon Brian: This one went quick from start to finish. Van Helsing shot both the Green Goblin and the HobGoblin out of the sky with his crossbow, Buffy distracted Venom with her girlish charms, while Belmont threw a vial of burning oil on him. Doc Oc posed more of a problem as his mechanical arms speared Buffy then crushed Simon. Mr. Statistics: But Van Helsing was up to the task as always. He turned his multi-firing crossbow on the crazed scientist and brought him down. Winners: Vampire Slayers (4-1) Goblins (2-3) Or if you like here's RJ's version of the same match Match 4a - RJ Harris Quarter Finals Bracket 1 - Ancient Babylon Vampire Slayers vs. Goblins RJ: Well I think that these comic book villains may have their hands full today. The Vampire Slayers are tough. Their only loss came as a surprise to the Mongol Horde. The Goblins had a tough group, but don�t fight well as a team-they advanced by TBS. Jamie: The Green and Hobgoblins appear with their gliders and fly around the city�s main square. Meanwhile, Doc Ock and Venom wait for their prey in the shadows. The Vampire Slayers come in and a matter of moments, all goblins are dead. Van Helsing took out both of the goblin gliders with a quick series of shots. Pumpkin bombs went flying and both Doc Ock and a recently Venom invaded Buffy died in the fiery explosions and building collapses. So much for the Goblins string of victories-they are out and the Vampire slayers will move on to face Ender and his N.D.A. Winners: Vampire Slayers (4-1) Goblins: (2-3) Match 5 - Mark Ailshie Highlanders vs. The Avengers Quarter Finals Bracket 3 - Stone of Tear Santa Claus: Ho, Ho, ho! Merry Christmas, once again! RJ: Cut it out! You're not Santa! Not Santa: And here we are again to enjoy another festive rumble full of yuletide carnage and mayhem. Thor and his Avengers square off against The Macleods and Ramirez. Thor opens things off with a mighty swing of that wonderful hammer of his. Ho, Ho! Looks like he smashed Ramirez right in the chest! His ribs have punctured his lungs, and he's spitting bright red blood all over his green crushed satin shirt. Red and Green! How merry! Yoda: Grave and disturbing this jolly old elf is. Not Santa: And the God of thunder and marauding berserker warriors moves on, raising his hammer at Duncan MacLeod now. But, oh my! I think Thor has been naughty this year! Mark: Looks like Thor forgot that he needs to decapitate an immortal to kill him. Ramirez pops back up and disembowels Thor from the back. Not Santa: What a grisly sight for Santa to look at! Almost puts me off my milk and cookies. Almost. Torgo: Myaaa! The Master says that without Thor, they are doomed. Doomed! But the Master isn't here now...It'll be dark soon... Not Santa: Right you are, my sweet little goat-man. Philotetes: Were you's talkin' to me? Not Santa: Ho, Ho! Another sweet little goat man! But you've been VERY naughty this year, what with all those naughty nymphs and... Mark: ANYWAY! It looks like Duncan and Connor are facing off with the Scarlett Witch and Quicksilver, while Ramirez is chasing after the Wasp. Not Santa: He'll have trouble catching her. Or any petite young ladies, at his age! Ho, ho, ho! He's lucky he still looks like James Bond! And Connor has evaded the Scarlett Witch's hex bolt long enough to shear her head away from her body, like a snowman with a cutting torch! Her ruined and bloody carcass drops to the ground, still writhing in its death throes... RJ: STOP IT!!! YOU'RE GONNA GIVE EVERYONE NIGHTMARES!! Not Santa: Well, serves 'em right. Visions of sugar plums, they want. Who eats sugar plums anymore anyway? Give 'em visions of disembowelings and decapitations, that's what I say. Mark: But Quicksilver is doing a great deal better against Duncan. It seems that he moves too fast for Duncan to use his sword against him. Quicksilver dodges his every attack, and then finally grabs a sword away from the armory, and slips easily inside Duncan's defenses to cut his head away from his body. Not Santa: Ho, Ho! But see if the Avenger can outrun lightning! Torgo: The lightning strikes him! Mraaa! There is no way out of here... Not Santa: Quicksilver is stunned, but unhurt. That's what the quickening does to you, really. It hurts, but then it makes you stronger. But it does hurt, and stuns you for a few seconds. Why, I remember my first quickening, I was out for almost an hour. RJ: Wait a minute... Not Santa: Oh my! It seems Connor was drawn by the lightning, and leaped upon Quicksilver while he was down! The mutant is shorter by the altitude of ten inches or so. Well, one less person on my list this year. RJ: Did you just say you experienced a quickening? Not Santa: Well, of course. Every so often, an immortal tries to trim Santa's beard the hard way, and Santa has to show them how I've lived so long. Of course, most of the time I'm on holy ground at the North Pole Cathedral, but on Christmas Eve... RJ: Are you saying that Santa Claus is a 'highlander' immortal? Not Santa: Well, of course I am! Ho, Ho! Why else would I carry this huge scythe on my sleigh? Torgo: Ramirez has got the Wasp! The Master wants her, but he can't have her... Not Santa: Ho, ho! The gentleman with the diapers on his knees is right. Ramirez has got hold of the Wasp, but she is stinging his eyes and blinding him. Ramirez cannot see, and he doesn't dare let go of the Wasp to reach for his sword. Connor: Ramirez! Throw her here! Mark: And Ramirez complies by throwing the Wasp in the direction of Connor's voice. Connor whips his broadsword out and belts one out of the park! The Wasp's body smashes against the stone wall of the fortress and smashes into paste. Not Santa: Ho, ho, ho! And my fellow immortals continue to live. Until next Christmas Eve, at least... Winners: Highlanders (4-1) Avengers (3-2) Match 6 - Brian Ailshie Terminators vs. Hidden Dragons Quarter Finals Bracket 2 - Lamp Post Woods, Narnia Mr. Statistics: Li Mu Bai shows that the Green Destiny can swipe through the T800 model Terminator. It goes down sparking and mumbling something about coming 'back'. Brian: But the TX's Plasma Cannon is just too much for the Chinese aerialists. She blasts all three out of the air with the precision of a machine. Mr. Obvious: That's because she is a machine. Winners: Terminators (3-2) Hidden Dragons (3-2) Match 7 - Robert Newell Gladiators vs. Aes Sedai Quarter Finals Bracket 4 - Bonneville Salt Flats One on four doesn't seem like very good odds, even if the one is Lan Mandragoran. The gladiators all concentrate on the Diademed Battlelord of the Malkieri and ignore the two women with him. Nynaeve, who is not constrained by the Three Oaths, wants desperately to help her husband with the Power, but Moiraine is not about to let the Aes Sedai-in-training go against everything the the order holds dear. No Aes Sedai can use the Power as a weapon, not unless their warder's life is in danger, which it isn't. Or if they were fighting Shadowspawn, which they weren't. Or if their own lives were in danger, which they also aren't. Lan is using his opponent's against themselves. Unless they are trained to fight together, their numerical advantage only makes them get in the way of each other. Juba goes down, then Spartacus. Finally, Maximus lands a blow. With that, Moiraine nods her head at Nynaeve. With Lan now officially in danger, the Aes Sedai's hands are freed. Nynaeve launches two balls of fire, striking each remaining Gladiator square in the chest. Lan thanks his beloved, but Nynaeve seems rather cross. "Why did you let him hit you?!" she sniffs, "You could have taken them all without breaking a sweat!" Lan just says softly, "We'll discuss this later, in private." Winners: Aes Sedai (5-0) Gladiators (3-2) Match 8 - Brian Ailshie A-Team vs. The Warriors Quarter Finals Bracket 4 - Bonneville Salt Flats Madden: Don't ask me where the A-Team came up with a car, but their cruising it down I-80 toward the Warriors. Red Sonja is too slow to get out of the way of this strange monstrosity and is run down. Conan: Crom! Madden: Calling on his 'god' he spins aside and slices into the 'legs' of the beast and slashes the tires. Unfortunately for the Cimmerian, hitting an object going close to 80 MPH has consequences that physics can not ignore. The blade slices the tires, but then spins backward into Conan's chest. Michaels: Of course having a double blow-out at 80 MPH isn't very safe either. The A-Team's car rolls off the freeway and hits some strange tree in the middle of nowhere. Alexander: Trust me, everything out that way is 'the middle of nowhere'. RJ: Too true, too true. Brian: Be that as it may, the false tree falls on the car crushing the A-Team inside. Weird Al Yankovic: So if a tree falls in the middle of nowhere it can still kill someone? Everyone: That was awful. Madden: Back to the match. Paksenarrion checks out the car and makes sure her foes are truly conquered. Winners: Warriors (5-0) A-Team (3-2) Match 9 - RJ Harris Wizards vs. Solo's Smugglers Quarter Finals Bracket 3 - Stone of Tear John Madden: Well, Solo and his crew have fought fantastically in this Fantastic Rumble. Chewbacca has never looked so tough; you might even say that he is the heart of this team. RJ: Why would you say that-where are you getting all this? �Heart of the Team�? The main point here is that S.S. is undefeated because they work as a team. These Wizards work well together too though-only this match will determine who goes on and who doesn�t. Mr. Obvious: Well, I should have said that! Jamie: Han and his friends are waiting in a corridor for the wizards to show up-they have already split up into different areas around a large room. They have faced persons with magical powers before and they have agreed to a plan-shoot first, don�t worry about questions. RJ: After about 3 minutes of silence, Chewbacca stands, howls fires his crossbow, and shoots Elminster in the heart. Han and Lando take out Spelldor and Wuntvor and a flawless victory goes to the Solo Smugglers. They now have a very tough match up with the Sith Lords in the next round. Winners: Solo�s Smugglers (5-0) The Wizards (2-2-1) |