T3week43

Match 1 - Brian Ailshie
Great Cops vs Lawmen
Group Y - Tombstone, AZ

Brian: It's another old fashioned, western, gun battle.
Mark: Except that this time, both sides are good guys.
Brian: Well, that's arguable, but you're basically right. The Lawmen spread out on one side of town and the Great Cops on the other side. Each team pretty much has the other team pinned down with a constant stream of bullets.
Mark: This could be long then.
Brian: Perhaps. Oh, it looks like McCall just caught one in the shoulder.
Hunter: Didi you alright?
McCall: I will be. Let's get this over with.
Brian: They jump back up firing in quick succession. A well aimed shot catches Daniel Boone in the face as he pops up to return fire. But Wyatt Earp takes out the two L.A. cops as he jumps out as well.
Mark: Actually all four of the Great Cops work in L.A.
Brian: Yes, yes. I meant the two we were just watching.
Mark: Well, I was watching the other two. They concentrated their fire on Devey Crockett, and were able to hit him as he jumped up with Wyatt Earp to shoot Hunter and McCall. They turn and take out Wyatt Earp as well.
Brian: So that's not good for the Lawmen. Now it's the Lethal Weapon's against O. P. Rockwell. Speaking of which, here he comes. Look's like he's riding a horse and leading another. The two cops fire at him without moving for cover. Rockwell yells and fires back, but he's hit. He slumps over his horse and the cops step to the side as he passes them.
Mark: Oh, but he wasn't just leading the other horse, both were harnessed together to pull something. It seems to be some farm equipment.
Farmer Bob: That'd be a hay thresher sonny!
Mark: That's gruesome. The two cops are sliced by the sharp cutting blades.
Brian: Now the Great Cops are 'grated Cops'.
All: Stop with the puns already!
Mark: So another tie.
Brian: Actually it looks like the prophecies of Rockwell hold true. He was hit, but since his hair wasn't cut he wasn't killed. He pulls a close victory for his team.

Winners: Lawmen (1-2)
Great Cops (0-3)

Match 2 - Mark Ailshie
Venture's Quest vs. Dark Shehaps
Group R - Hobbiton

"Do what you will with the others," Malissant scowled at his brothers. "But the Baenkryt is mine."
Korps and Gasponac nodded and sidled away from the eldest shadow. Well did they remember the last time their brother said that. Besides, there were other vendettas to avenge with this group...
Venture steepled his fingers as he surveyed the hills of the shire. "Best if we stay together," he said aloud. "Rog, you and Rygara take point. I'll use my bow to back things up. Yonder, you..." But the dwarf was gone. Venture looked wildly around. "Where..."
"Leave him alone, Ven," advised Rog. "Gasponac killed his mentor. You know that."
Venture gritted his teeth and nodded. He knew it. But now was no time for personal retribution. Yonder's paladin abilities were their only chance to survive against three dark shehaps. Even if it were true what Io had told him about his being some kind of messianic hero destined to bring down the kingdom of darkness, there was no guarantee of his surviving in these battles.
"Go find him, anyway," he told Rog. "It's not wise for any of us to be alone." Rog nodded and headed in the direction he thought Yonder had gone.
Gasponac strode away from his brothers with confidence. Even if this group had defeated his forces once before, they had never fought against he himself. They had no prayer. Sudenly, a light sang out from a corner to the east. Gasponac turned and snarled. It was the dwarf, Mian's cur, who had humiliated him in the Nonek campaign.
"Go back!" Yonder shouted out of the midst of his light. "Go back, child of the Dark Star! Or face the sword of Mian!"
Gaspoanc sneered. "I cursed Mian in the waters of Iaerly, eons before the fathers of your race cut their way out of the rocks! Why should I fear a stunted beardling who bears her name?" He shot a bolt of flame at the dwarf, which melted on the shell of light he had thrown up.
Yonder resisted the urge to grin. Mian frowned upon vengeance, but he had looked forward to facing Yaeson's slayer for a long time. He circled to the left and brought his spear to his shoulder.
Gasponac scowled again, and suddenly burst aflame. Yonder shielded his eyes, and quieted the dwarvish panic. He had learned that if he did not doubt, Mian would deliver him from any enemy. He just had to wait for a clear shot.
Gasponac pulled back his arms to cast his flame at Yonder, trusting to his immolated form to guard against any attack. "Quench!" Yonder commanded, and as instantly as it had appeared, Gasponac's flame vanished. The shehap blinked in confusion for a split second, and that was all the opening Yonder needed. His spear, guided by Mian's hand, sailed true and sank into the shehap's magical flesh just under his throat. Yonder barely had time to throw up a shield before Gasponac's essence exploded in a burst of noise and light. Yonder sighed, satisfied. It couldn't bring Yaeson back, he knew, but it was enough.
His ears still rang, from the explosion, and perhaps that was why he never heard Korps approaching from behind. The dark lord was more practical than either of his brothers, much more concerned with getting the job done than with trying to make an impression. He
drew his obsidian sword and swiped once through the dwarf's torso without pausing. Yonder fell, never having seen his killer.
Rog came over the grassy rise and looked down just as Korps slew his friend. "No!" he shouted, and Korps spun around to face his new challenger. Rog took an involuntary step backward. Korps' face resembled nothing so much as a skull with skin pulled so tight over it that the teeth were visible through the cheeks. The dark robed shehap strode up the hill, his expression of sober detachment never altering. Rog almost turned and fled, but angrily shoved his fear into his stomach. Fear was stupid. He had the advatage of terrain on top of the hill, and he'd be a fool to give it up. He drew his double bladed axe, and advanced.
Korps didn't hesitate. He was used to people running from him, but no matter. He raised his sword and lunged at the human fighter. The human parried with the blade of his axe and countered with an attack of his own, which Korps countered. He is strong, Korps noted in his mind.
Rygara and Venture kept moving, looking for their opponents, but Venture had the uneasy feeling that they were looking for them as well. When Malissant stepped out of the tall grass, Venture recognized him immediately. The body was that of the Lord Avatar of the Notzarian underground, but he had learned by now who it really was. The creature spotted them and grinned maliciously.
"'Gara!" Venture cried. "To your right!" Rygara spun on her heel and faced him, but Malissant looked right pat them and speared Venture with a hungry leer.
"You won't escape this time, Negeind," he said, infusing the title with as much disdain as possible. "Prepare for the Long Night." Purple tendrils circled up and down the avatar's scrawny arms.
Rog ducked into a Hobbit hole and breathed deeply. This wasn't working. Korps was too good with his sword -- something Rog should have anticipated, knowing how Astak had fared. He couldn't match him at hand to hand combat. Korps knocked once on the round door, and it flew off its hinges as if rammed. Rog retreated further into the hole, knowing as he did so that he was most likely cutting off any hope of escape. He pulled one of the strange round doors closed behind him, thinking desperately of some way to distract his opponent. He turned, nd his jaw dropped open. He was in a wine cellar. Kegs upon kegs of ales, wines, and brandies - all neatly stacked and labeled, greeted him like a long lost friend. Rog filled a tankard and drained it at one pull. He smiled widely.
Korps didn't have the hunting instinct of his nephew Slink, but there were few enough places for the human to hide. He approached the cellar door, heard quiet sounds from within, and braced himself to ram the door.
Suddenly, the door exploded back in his face, followed by a wave of sudsy liquids. Korps back pedaled, unsure what to make of this tactic, but before he could escape, his robes were soaked with ale. Suddenly, the human was beside him, casting an oil lamp at his feet. The alcohol caught fire with alarming swiftness. Korps shouted in anguish. The fire couldn't hurt him, but it could destroy his protective cloak, and the smoke could blind him and make him unable to defend himself.
Rog threw a few more flammables at the dark shehap until he was swimming in flames. He sounded angry, too. In one movement, Rog swept in and struck with his axe just below the creature's jaw. Korps gave a sputtering bellow and fell to his knees. The fire went up as if it had been suddenly fanned. Only then did Rog remember what happened to shehaps when they died. He turned and fled as fast as he could, but Korps exploded in a burst of light and wind, and Rog's body was shot out of the Hobbit hole like a ball out of a cannon. His head cracked against the side of the hill, and he knew no more.
Rygara brought her sword level. She was confident in her abilities, but even she was unsure how to fight this unarmed monster. She made a careful swing, more to guage his reactions than to actually attack. Without taking his eyes off Venture, Malissant caught the sword in his bare hands. Bloody stripes cascaded down his forearms, but he completely ignored it. The Purple flames ran like a swarm of ants across the balde of the sword and into Rygara's body.
"No!" shouted Venture, and loosed another arrow at their foe. Malissant dodged the arrow and grinned. He let the woman dance in his arms for a moment before casting her aside, only because he could see the Baenkryt had cared for her.
Venture blinked the tears away from his face. No time to mourn. It was time to avenge! He drew the curved sword he had taken as a trophy after their last battle. Malissant recognized the blade and nodded. "It is appropriate," he purred. "You should die with my sword in your hands."
Malissant rushed at him like a bird of prey, and Venture poked and stabbed with the blade to keep him back. The creature took another slash on its arm and cried out in pain. Venture gasped, but his hope was mislaid. Malissant stepped inside his reach and backhanded him across the face. Venture sat up and shook his head, astonished to find himself some twenty yards away, with no clear memory of his flight or his landing. Malissant's hand closed around his throat, and Venture fought for breath as the shehap lifted him into the air, his arms pulsing with power. "No one to rescue you this time," Malissant whispered like a caress. "This time, you will die." Venture would have argued the point, but he couldn't get any breath in his body. He felt himself blacking out again.
Rog opened his eyes and groaned. His head felt like it was stuffed with cotton that had been soaked in oil and then lit ablaze. He staggered to his feet, and felt wetness from the back of his head. Well, he reflected, at least Korps was dead. Now for the others. He glanced down the hill, trying to catch some sign of them, and gasped. Some thirty feet away, he saw Malissant, at least that was who he assumed it was, and Venture hanging by the throat from his clenched fist. The shehap was saying something, but they were too far for Rog to make it out. There was no time to plan anything. Rog picked up his axe from where it had fallen and whipped it with all his might. It sailed end over end and bit deep into the creature's forearm, shearing it clean off. Rog was surprised--the arm must have already been wounded pretty bad. With that thought, Rog fainted again.
Malissant screamed with rage and impatience. The pain was there too, but that mostly belonged to his avatar, so he could ignore it. He tried to attack again, but the avatar's knees buckled, and he fell, kneeling, before the elf.
Venture immediately staggered to his feet, knowing this chance wouldn't last long. He seized the curved blade and swung it with all his strength at the avatar's neck. The head was shorn off. Vemture fell to his knees, and panted with exertion. Just like the first time, he had overcome Malissant at the last moment. Perhaps Io was right--who could really say?
Like the last time? Venture's eyes popped open, and sure enough, the smoke was curling from the Avatar's body, coelescing into a cloud. And now, there was no Yonder to dissipate it. But it didn't matter. As in the tournament, the judges rule that once Malissant's original body is slain, he is defeated. Possessing another will not change that.

Winners: Venture's Quest (1-0)
Dark Shehaps (3-1)

Match 3 - Brian Ailshie
Cobra vs Video Game Ninjas
Group N - Cobra Island

John Madden: This match is probably pointless.
Mr. Statistics: It's not pointless really. If Cobra wins, they could force a 3 way tie at 2-2 with the Cartoon Heroes if the Feydakin lose to the Joe Ninjas.
Madden: If, if, if. Too much. Let's just get to the match.
RJ: Am I hearing things or did John just bypass the "Pre-Game show?"
Jaime: As amazing as that seems, it looks like he did.
Madden: Blah, blah. Match time! Cobra starts into the battle together again. Serpentor and the Commander launch at each other again. They're actually attacking each other this time. Serpentor is the better fighter though and neither of the others really feel any desire to come to the Commander's aid.
Mark: That's typical.
Madden: As CC's body drops to the floor, the V.G. Ninjas join the fray. Tommy and Billy attack the Nemesis Enforcer, with the 2 on 1 that's nearly a fair fight. Thomas sends a kung fu kick at Destro and snaps the metal-faced villain's neck. He then goes to help Ryu against Serpentor.
Mr. Statistics: A double, 2-on-1.
Madden: For the moment. The various parts of Serpentor are powerful, but not really a match for a Ninja and a Kung-Fu Master. Serpentor lands a kick on Thomas that sends him flying into the large video screen. The glass shatters and the Kung-Fu Master is sliced to ribbons. But Ryu takes full advantage of Serpentor's split concentration. The Cobra Emperor goes down with a katana through the rib cage.
Mr. Obvious: That's gotta sting.
Madden: Ryu then joins the battle against the Nemesis Enforcer. And just in time. N.E. just plunged a claw through Tommy. Billy howls in rage and throws himself at his brother's killer. The Enforcer grabs him in a bear hug and starts to squeeze the life out of him.
Mr. Obvious: And that's when Ryu joins the fight. He cuts down the Nemesis Enforcer just moments before it's too late for Billy.
Madden: Well that was a surprise. I when you started saying the stuff about the 2-2 tie I thought Cobra was gonna have a chance.
Mr. Statistics: Cobra just can't work together long enough. So that sets the last match as the most important. The G.I. Joe Ninjas vs the Feydakin. The winner will be the #1 seed, but if the Joes win then they sweep the group and leave the Feydakin at a 2-2 tie with the Cartoon Heroes.
Mark: And the Heroes beat them in the head-to-head.
Mr. Statistics: Yes, so the #2 seed would be the Cartoon Heroes if the G.I. Joe Ninjas sweep the group. If not the Ninjas take the #2 spot even if they lose to the Feydakin.

Winners: Video Game Ninjas (1-3)
Cobra (1-3)

Match 4 - Robert Newell
The Avengers vs the Mind Twisters
Group D - Baladox Tower

The rest of the match fades into the background as the strongest of the Norse Gods faces off against Earth's Supreme Sorceror. Absurd energies are thrown about, and in the titanic struggle all of the other combatants are crossfire casualties. The battle seems to last forever, but in the end, Thor's stamina wins this one. Thor takes Dr Strange's best shot and fires Mjolnir back, killing Strange.

Winner: The Avengers (3-0)
The Mind Twisters (0-2)

Match 5 - Brian Ailshie
Crime Lords vs TV Cops
Group AD - Chicago Subway System

Brian: Well this match is pointless, neither team stands a chance of advancing. Although the loser joins the growing ranks of the 'winless'.
Mr. Statistics: And joins the list of "Toilet Bowl" competitors.
Brian: True, more on that another time though.
Mr. Statistics: Oh, ok.
Brian: For now, it looks like Lex has tried another game plan for the TV Cops. His team is spread out again. Jack and Bonny are setting an ambush for Sidney Bristow. Bonnie is in the open calling for help, and Jack is hiding in the darkness. After a few moments Sidney does appear from around a corner. She approaches Bonny cautiously, expecting a trick of some kind. However she doesn't see Jack step out from behind her and he attacks.
Mr. Statistics: Oh! In his lust for blood he slits the throats of BOTH women!
Luthor: Jack what are you doing! Bonny's on our side!
Brian: But it is too late. Bonny and Bristow's blood pools on the ground. And Jack cackles in laughter.
Mr. Statistics: And Lex's futile yell was heard by Clyde as well. He may argue with Bonny but he loves her. He leaps out in a rage firing his tommy gun.
Luthor: No! Clyde you're ruining the ambush!
Brian: And so he does. Capone figuring his best shot is to join his teammate, leaps out as well, gun blazing. After a fierce and fast gun battle Capone and Clyde have gunned down Magnum PI, Sonny and Tubbs. However the Cops got their guns going as well and hit both Capone and Clyde. That ambush is a draw.
Mr. Statistics: But there's still Lex and Jack against Macguyver.
Brian: I know, I meant at that little spot of the arena. By the way, it's just Mac against Lex.
Mr. Statistics: Oh?
Brian: Yeah as Jack was laughing and Clyde started shooting, MacGuyver ran out at Jack. He clubbed the killer with the leg of a bench. Mr. Statistics: Where is Mac now?
Brian: Good question. I'm not sure.
Clark Kent: There he is. He's just found Lex's lair.
Brian: How? Lex's lair is pretty hard to find isn't it?
Kent: It is, but remember that MacGuyver is nothing if not resourceful. He made a homing device with the ear- bug Jack was wearing, some duct tape and bailing wire.
Mr. Statistics: And here he goes, having picked the lock with a pen and a plastic fork, he charges the room. Lex turns around surprised and get's the bench leg across the face.
Brian: One team must win, usually it's the good guys.

Winners: TV Cops (1-3)
Crime Lords (0-4)

Match 6 - Mark Ailshie
The Tribe vs. the Wizards
Group E - Xavier's school for Gifted Youngsters

Edgar Allen Poe: Lo, the last curtain is unveiled, and the final team steppeth forth. A motley group, to be sure, but only time will tell how well they will fare 'gainst foes and erstwhile friends. Behold, Bolt the electricity wielding hero doth charge like an unstoppable wave until he crasheth into the Wizard Elminster, with the force of an ionic storm. Alas, poor Wuntvor, for he is caught in his wake as Bolt zoometh through, and verily the poor lad turneth to charcoal. But Elminster doth fight with his eldritch power, and holds his own against Bolt's mighty zappings. His remaining ally, one Spelldor by name, moveth to help him, but behold! Majik, that Thespian of Thaumaturgy, does burst from the clear sky, fireballs popping from his fingers like kernels of ripened corn. He knocketh Spelldor aside, and does speed into the fray. And behold! Now is Elminster outnumbered by two to one, and hard pressed is he against such foes.
Spelldor doth search through his volumnious pockets, seeking spell components. He cometh upon a short length of chain, and stareth at it. His mind works in quick circles to bind one of Elminster's enemies. "This is chain. Chain doth bind. I release the binding," The chain evaporates like dew with the sun, and behold, Majik doth fall from the sky, unable to move. He plungeth through a window and hurtleth to the ground below.
But suddenly, a new enemy doth face Spelldor. A tall blond warrior with a long sword in the place of his right hand. Saber gives Spelldor a formale fencer's salute, but Spelldor has no weapon to salute back with. Instead, he reacheth into his pocket and removeth a handful of sand. He bringeth the sand to his lips and bloweth, as his mind chants in silence, "My breath is like the wind. I summon the wind. I
release..." But lo, before his wind spell can be enacted, a man doth smash through a nearby wall, breaking his concentration. Cinderblock feels the pain, but he can endure it. He can endure anything. He charges at Spelldor, knocking the Nashad wizard from his feet.
Saber pins the wizard's shoulder into the ground, and he crieth out in pain. Mayhaps Saber would have dispatched yon enemy, but a cry of terror doth distract him. Saber and Cinder Block turneth towards Elminster and Bolt. Elminster hath pierced the riddle of Bolt's form. He has encased the young superhero in ice, and now he shattereth the ice, and with it, the form of Bolt's body. Saber and Cinderblock turn against Elminster. Saber advanceth with all the skill of his training, a careful and precise warrior. But Cinderblock doth charge full tilt. Elminster casts fireballs, lightning bolts, and even meteor swarms at Cinderblock, and lo, each finds its mark on the young juggernaut, but he endures its pain, and tackleth Elminster through the same window Majik had fallen through. And lo! The two do fall full three stories, and Elminster doth land on his back with Cinderblock crushing him from above. His spine is broken, and he lieth dead.
Saber gives a satisfied nod and turns to dispatch the Nashad, but lo, he is confronted with an awful sight--a wall of moving flame, to singe the flesh from his bones. He dies screaming. Cinderblock - still unscathed, despite the fall - looks up the window to see Saber cast from it in full holocaustic spectacle. When he looketh beyond, he seeth Spelldor perched upon the wall, staring fixedly into a mirror in his lap. A handful of flickering brands he casteth away, and the wall of flame dies out. Spelldor is helpless in his trance - should one come
upon him unawares, he would be defenseless. But since he can see his enemies, it doth suffice. He stareth into the mirror, forcing the rest of the world from his mind. Only the mirror is real. And whatever happeneth in the mirror happeneth in the real world as well. Thereby did he place a flaming brand beside Saber's mirror image, and light the true Saber ablaze. And now, he doth blow lightly against the mirror, sending Cinderblock flying backward to land in Xavier's reflecting pool. Then, lo, he placeth his hand against the water, barring any exit.
Cinderblock fights against the unseen force which seemeth to keep him from breaking the water's surface. He feels the pain in his lungs, but he can endure it. Minutes pass, then nearly a full hour. But a Nashad wizard can remain entranced for days--indeed, it is the breaking of the trance, not the holding of it, that causes dizzyness and pain. Even Cinderblock cannot endure forever, and in time, drowns. Thus, it is not Spelldor who doth truly kill him, but time. And to which of us is time not the true killer?

Winners: The Wizards (2-0)
The Tribe (0-1)