T3week3

Match 1 - Mark Ailshie
Mind Tricks vs. New Dragon Army
Group D - Baladox Tower

Ender frowned as he surveyed the dusty plain surrounding Baladox Tower. Of all the opponents his team had to face, these would have been his last choice to start off with. He knew he needed a decisive win in their first match, if he hoped to keep the team's respect and support. Otherwise, all the drilling and preparation he had done would fall apart. He spoke over his shoulder to his troops. "Bossk, Castle, slide the side of the ravine and flank them on the left. Gradion, Go high above and hit them from the back. Non-verbal communication protocols, and
don't trust anything you see. Move!"
Bossk hissed and drew his blaster rifle, while the Punisher (Frank Castle) took out his two uzis.
Gradion loosened his mace in its strap and spread his wings. Ender shouldered his own rifle, but stayed on the slight rise they had begun on. He knew his own physical skills were negligible next to those of his companions. He could serve the team much better by watching from a safe distance.
Bossk growled over his shoulder at the human with the skull-patterned tunic. He hated working with humans. For that matter, he didn't particularly like working with anybody. Ever since he'd been hatched, Bossk had been a natural loner. The rest of his team seemed to be the same. Except the boy, of course. He would follow him for the time being--the boy had suggested he think of himself as having been hired by him. Still, it did irk him.
Suddenly, the boy stepped out from behind a boulder a few yards in front of them. "What are you doing here?" he asks angrily. "Didn't I tell you to head for the tower?"
Bossk opens his mouth to retort, but is interupted by a spray of bullets from the skull-clad human. The boy was dead before he could hit the ground. Bossk whirls to demand an explanation, but the Punisher puts a finger to his lips, and then points at the now dead Ender. Suddenly Bossk understood: The boy had ordered them to keep silent. He would not have been asking them questions they would have to speak to answer. As he watches, the boy's body ripples strangely and becomes the body of a withered old woman. Bossk growls low in his throat.
Lamont Cranston drops the hypnotic cloak he had wrapped around the reverend mother. "Darn," he says under his breath. Somehow, they had penetrated her disguise, and she had been unable to get their voice patterns.
"We have company, Shadow," said Dr. Strange. Lamont looks up and spots Gradion flying over them. "No problem," he says, making himself invisible to their enemies, while wrapping a different hypnotic cloak around Strange.
Gradion swoops overhead, itching for battle. Suddenly, a huge monstrous demon appears on the next rise. The creature roars and beckons to him. "By the Dread Dormammu, creature," the Demon intones, "Come and meet your doom."
Gradion smiled. A grishnak never refused a battle, no matter how huge the opponent was. With a cry of rage, he swoops into battle, but the demon parries his first blow and punches him against the ground. Gradion cries out in pain as he hits the ground.
Lamont smiled. The foolish creature was actually fighting itself. Strange was making movements, but even if Gradion tore the creature's head off, Strange would remain unaffected. Gradion was wrestling against the air, and he was losing. A movement got Lamont's attention, and he spots the human and lizardman appraoching them. He sends a hypnotic suggestion at them.
"He is your enemy! Destroy him!" Bossk hears the voice in his head, and can't ignore it. He lunges at the Punisher to attack him. The Punisher lunges back and soon, the two warriors are locked in involuntary combat. The Shadow laughs, as is his trademark.
Then, from across the hill, a small boy with a rifle appears, walking straight toward him. Lamont sends a hypnotic suggestion at him, making himself invisible and commanding him to shoot his companions. The boy puts the rifle to his shoulder, but when he shot, it comes mere inches away from Lamont's own head.
Ender gritted his teeth. It wouldn't be likely he'd get another shot. He had studied hypnosis, to learn how to defend himself from it. It turned out to require nothing more than a completely dedicated will. No part of his subconscious mind wanted to be hypnotised, so he was immune. From the hypnosis, anyway. Of course, the Shadow had other skills.
Lamont uses his telekenisis to lift several large boulders and sends them flying at the boy. Ender
shoots them out of the air with his laser rifle, but he can't keep dodging forever. It was a matter of time. Lamont turns to face him. Ender dodges, circling around. Lamont sends three more stones flying toward him.
Suddenly, Ender stops running and looks at him. "Gradion," he shouts. "Attack your six!" Gradion, still wrestling with nothing, immediately spins on his heel and throws his mace end over end until it collides into Lamont's invisible head with a sickening crunch. The Shadow falls to the ground unconscious, and all the hypnotic disguises fall away.
Bossk and the Punisher immediately put themselves back to back and open up with their weapons. A bullet catches Strange in the shoulder, and the Sorcerer Supreme phases through the ground. Gradion leaps on the unconscious Lamont and tears his throat out before retrieving his mace.
Punisher raises an eyebrow at Ender, and Ender nods.
"We can talk now," he says. "That was a precaution against the Voice."
"So, what do we do?" the Punisher asks. "That was Dr. Strange--he's plenty tough."
"We're plenty tough too, Castle," Ender answers.
"Hunt him down. Shoot first; follow your instincts. Gradion, give me a lift."
Gradion nods, and grabs Ender under the arms and carries him into the air. "He can't stay underground too long," says Ender. "We just need to be ready when he resurfaces."
Dr. Stephen Strange, master of the mystic arts, is not accustomed to physical combat. It is not his forte. Instead, he phases bcak into his corporeal form atop the tower itself and surveys his opponents. Frank Castle and the lizard man hunt him on the ground, and the boy and bat-creature hunted him from the air. He would not have long. He began chanting and making arcane hand gestures, calling on the mystical forces he controls.
Bossk glances up and spots the sorcerer atop the tower, beginning to glow. He snarls a warning moments before a blast of cosmic energy blasts at Gradion, clipping him in the left wing. Boy and grishnak crash to earth, alive but wounded. Bossk and the Punisher return fire, but Strange wraps a poweful forcefield around himself, repelling both bullets and blaster bolts. He chants another spell, and the ground beneath them begins to buckle and quake.
"Don't attack him, it's futile," shouts Ender. "Go for the tower's foundations--collapse it!"
"It's foundations are thick," puts in Gradion. "It is said Baladox would never fall until the Baenkryt is carried under it's arch."
Ender shakes his head. "This is the rumble: destinies from individual universes do not apply. Gradion, you keep Strange distracted."
Gradion nods and takes to the skies, making as if he is attacking the tower's roof. Strange launches mystic bolts, which Gradion swoops to avoid. Castle draws his grenade launcher, and Bossk arms a few thermal detonators. The Punisher launches them into the base of Baladox tower, while Ender carves away at crucial points with his laser rifle. In moments, a huge explosion shakes the bottom of the tower.
Dr. Strange, is surprised when the ground gives a violent lurch, and the tower begins to collapse under him. Before he can phase away, he is caught in the rubble and crushed. As the dust clears, Ender assesses the situation. Their opponents have been defeated with 0% casualties, beyond a few inconsequential wounds. And, judging by the highly satisfied looks on the human and alien faces of his teammates, he has won their respect.

Winner: New Dragon Army (1-0)
Mind Tricks (0-1)

Match 2 - Brian Ailshie
The A-Team vs The Terminators
Group X - Downtown LA

Mr. T: We gonna clobber dem robots sucka. Dat handsome B.A. guy gonna knock dem heckuva far.
Robert: I swear he isn't speaking english.
Mark and Cindy: As English majors we can vouch that he is not speaking proper english.
Mr. T: Watch it sucka, or I'll knock YOU heckuva far!
Brian: Fortunately we have had the anti-violence-ejection seats and floor panels installed. Anyone in here that moves to hurt another will be ejected to a cool down area.
George Lucas: I donated Echo base on Hoth.
JRR Tolkein: What's left of it!
Lucas: That's it you little English twerp . . .
*<-eject->*
RJ: you should have installed these a long time ago Brian.
Brian: Well, since we invited all the contestants to join us this time if they wished, it became much more necessary. Tolkien and Lucas' little tiffs would be nothing compared to a full scale Jedi Battle.
Mark: Anyway, let's get on with the battle, we are watching.
Brian: Oh, yes. It looks like the A-Team has started production on some special equipment for the Terminators.
Arnold Schwarzeneggar: For what it's worth! The Terminators are going to squeeze them like some old yucky grapes. Then they will . . . Hey! Were did they get the blowtorch and metal plating?
Brian: What? Have you never watched the A-Team? They always pull that blowtorch from somewhere. They could make a tank out of the stuff they pull out of nowhere! Besides they are in a large hotel building, they could find all sorts of stuff.
Mark: This could be interesting.
RJ: Too late here come the Terminators! Hey! How come they're all in their skivvies?
Brian: I take it you've fogotten how each Terminator movie begins? They always come that way. No weapons or non-biologic stuff. Not that they'll be without it long. Looks like the T800 grabbed a shotgun from the Pawn shop down the street on their way here. He's going in first.
Oh! Looks like he set off a trip-wire trap of some kind. The metal beam that was running around the bar of this lounge they're in just launched itself at him. The bar hits his head going probably about 50 miles per hour. He flys back out the door and across the lobby.
John Madden: Boom! I think he's out of this one!! See here's his head over here, and his body is way over there. (Madden begins drawing all over the window with a marker)
Arnold: The other two won't be as easy though. They'll really have to invent something to take them out. Something like . . . WHOOOAAHHH! The T-1000 just fell through a trap door into a vat of molten metal! Where did they get that from?
Brian: You don't really want to know. Still I don't think they'll get the TX to fall for the same trick. See, she just leaped it and grabbed Face-man. Eeeww. I should say the ex-Faceman.
Not Santa: Now he's no-longer-gotta-face-man!
Mark: I'm sorry I ever inveted you.
Mr T: Don't worry! I told you the A-Team gonna kick them heckuva far! See here comes BA. He'll teach dat chick not to mess with the . . . Oh, some fool gonna pay for that.
Brian: I think you, er I mean BA, already paid for that. Paid ultimately. That will leave a scar.
She takes after Col. Hannibal next. He leaps out of the back door and runs, the TX not too far behind. He crosses the street, and then gets some ground between him and his enemy when she looks up. There seems to be a helicopter coming in! Not sure where they found that from!
Mark: What, did you forget the episode where they built a helicopter out of a frame and some golf clubs? That's crazy Murdock for ya! He aims the chopper at the last Terminator and rams her. The helicopter explodes! I don't thing Murdock will walk away from that landing. Luckily, neither will the TX.
Hannibal: I love it when a plan comes together!

Winner: The A-Team (1-0)
Terminators (0-1)

Match 3 - RJ Harris
The Bears vs The Great Cats
Group W - Pride Rock

RJ: Well I don't want to be the only one who didn't get to commentate on all of the exciting matches that we've seen so far here in this powerhouse Group W. So today we are in for another great match!
John Madden: That's right! BOOM! Chicken wings and Football are nothin' compared to two Disney teams forced to fight to the death. Kinda reminds me of Nightmare on Sesame Street. Man, was that ever scary. Before we start this battle of the Chicago Bears vs the Cincinati Bengles-
Jamie: Uh, John it is NOT football--I get enough of you during football season anyway--your bannished to the Time Out Room. (He leaves with a crestafallen look.)
RJ: Well, with that done, you'll have to give us the current standings, sweetie.
Jamie: Glad too--currently Pern leads 2-1; their only lost coming at the hands of The Shadow--who is 1-1 so far because of a lost to Dragon Reborn.
The Disney Bears and the Great Cats have one lost each. So some one here will come out tied for 3rd with The Shadow.
RJ: So since these are you creations, what do you think of this Mr Disney?
John Madden (shouting from TOR): You having that weirdo doing color commentating?!?
The Great Gonzo: Who are you calling a weirdo, fatty?
RJ: Anyway! Mr Disney, your thoughts please.
Walt Disney: Well, up till now none of my creations have ever had to fight each other. I just want to be the first to say that this is wrong--my creatures only fought if they had to. And...
RJ: Well here they have to and with the appearence of the Cats at Pride Rock--the match has begun.
Aslan: I feel that we have learned much from our previous battle and after watching these Bears in their battle. Mufasa, Simba, this is your home--how shall we proceed?
Simba: The high rock protects us from attack, Aslan, and provides great opportunity to pounce! (Simba demonstrates, Mufasa laughs, Shere Khan sneers)
Mufasa: (Laughing still) As far as plan of attack, the 2 smaller bears are not much of a threat--the older one does have some sort of potion though that provides an increase of strength. We need to make sure he doesn't distrubute it to the 2 larger bears. I fell that if Aslan and I ...
Shere Khan: And shan't I give my opinion! The grey bear, Baloo, is mine--I have a score to settle with him!
Aslan: Peace, Tiger. We are not here to "settle scores" but participate in combat for sport.
Khan: But are we not fighting to the death!
Aslan: Yes, but it must be remembered by all that we shall be restore to perfect and proper frame once this Tournament is over. We shall attack as Mufasa directed--He and I will wait for the larger bears with you and Simba seperate the smaller bears from them. To your positions please.
Jamie: While the Cats are making their battle plan, on the far side of Pride Rock, the bears make theirs.
Baloo: I tell ya, the only one of these cats that are really dangerous is the tiger, Shere Khan.
Kenai: Those other lions look like trouble too!
Zummi: Yes they have sharp tangs and feeth--I mean sharp fangs and teeth.
Baloo: Yeah I know but Khan is the only one that is mean ya know--I saw them in their battle against those drangon riders. I tell you as long as we stay together--we should be OK. Make sure to have you juice ready Zummi--we're gonna need it.
RJ: As the Cats prepare for the attack--the Bears get ready for their defense.
Aslan: Quiet now, I hear them approach.
Baloo: Ok, they are probably gonna be up high so that they can jump down upon us so stay out in the open!
RJ: The warning from Baloo fell to deaf ears though--the CareBear walked righ up to the highest rock and looked up--just in time to see Simba land on him--oh that is messy!
Simba: I have gootn one down go for the rest. Get the old small one Khan!
Khan: You shall not tell me what to do!
Jamie: The tiger, jumps over Simba and makes a straight shot at Baloo. Luckily the gray bear sees him and starts to seperate his group.
Baloo: Run for it! They are h.....
RJ: He doesn't get the rest of his words out--Khan has caught him and begings to practice unsafe surgery. Again really messy!
Khan: Ha ha I finally get to rip you apa...
Jamie: The tiger didn't get to finish is sentence beacuse the other large bear, Kenai, attacked Khan and ripped out his throat. Now that is really, truly messy!
Walt: I can't take this anymore...I'm leaving. (He leaves)
Fozzie the Bear: I guess you could say that he couldn't BEAR the battle huh? WAKA WAKA WAKA!
(The Audience groans--some throw tomatoes--or tomatos). Well at least I'll be ready for lunch now--no waiting for ketchup (or catsup) for my fries.
Homer Simpson: MMMMM, French Fries......(Drools.)
Jamie: Can we move on now? (RJ nods.) While all of this attacking and retreating was going on in the open, Simba caught Zummi and ate him too--then he started to chase Kenai. Mufasa and Aslan have been waiting on top of Pride Rock.
Mufasa: I don't know what can be done about the tiger. He has so much hate inside of him--he reminds me of my brother.
Aslan: I shall speak to him, but I feel that he has learned much from this battle. Let us go down and help your son.
RJ: As the other Great Cats desend, Kenai knows that he will soon be cornered, and bows down towards Aslan.
Jamie: I have a feeling this will not be messy at all.
Kenai: Please end this ordeal quickly; I wish to be reunited with my friends.
Aslan: And so you shall--your desire to safe you friends will give you great power and knowledge in the end. Be at peace, Brother Bear.
RJ: Aslan opens his mouth breathes on Kenai, and the bears falls to the earth in peaceful death.

Winner: The Great Cats (1-1)
Loser: The Bears (0-2)

Match 4 - Robert Newell
Team Nintendo vs. Startrek's Next Generation
Group AB - NCC 1701-D "Enterprise"

Worf hadn't really had a chance. He saw the small man in green with a sword and ran to his quarters returning swiftly with his bat'leth. Unfortunately, the only fighting techniques he knew worked against other Kilingons with bat'leths, so he was quickly trisected by two swings of the Master Sword.
Data didn't last much longer as he encountered Mega Man in Engineering. Data was flabbergasted at seeing another android that was obviously not Soong type. He tried to talk to Mega man, but Mega man was no dummy. He had been in countless adventures, and there were only a few robots that weren't corrupted and he knew them all. He blasted Data to scrap, long before Data was able to do anything about it. Unfortunately, a stray shot hit the warp core. Security klaxons blared, warning of an emminent core breach.
Will Riker was about to call security when he saw a man with wings fly down the corridor. He never got to it because he heard the computer warning of a warp core breach. He ordered all hands to abandon ship, but it was too late for anyone. A few seconds later, the ship blew up killing almost everone. Almost, because Samus Aran can survive almost indefinitely in hard vacuum and she was far from the warp core when it breached. Floating through space, Samus accessed her reserve tanks to repair her slightly damaged armor. She wasn't sure what to do, but it didn't matter as she was the only survivor of the Enterprise.

Winner: Team Nintendo (1-0)
Startrek's Next Generation (0-1)

Match 5 - Brian Ailshie
Mystery Men vs The Incredibles
Group I - Bavmorda's Castle

Brian: I like both of the teams fighting now. Robert Parr's family versus the wanna be superheroes. The Shoveler and his friends appear just outside the moat. Meanwhile Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, their kids, and Frozone appear in the armory just inside the front gates of the castle.
Elastigirl: Violet, you want to sneak around for us?
Dash: I can do it! They'll never see me, since I run so fast.
Mr. I: No, Dash. Let you sister scout it out first, then you can go next.
Brian: As the Incredibles start searching for their enemies, the Mystery Men enter the castle by the front gate. Violet may be invisible, but the door opening and shutting by itself sets off even the dumbest superhero.
Sphinx: I think something is in that building! My mind powers tell me so.
Mr. Furious: What ever, let's go!
Brian: So saying, he charges into the building. Violet decides to try and sneak around, since she figures they didn't really see her. Mr. Furious grabs Mr. Incredible and throws him through the wall. Frozone leaps out the hole after them and attacks the Shoveler. Dash runs out and gets the attention of the silverware throwing Blue Raja. Elastigirl spins out the door and throws a fist into the Spinx and a stretchy foot into the Bowler's gut. The first fight to be broken up is the Mister's. Since Mr. Furious is only average strength, he doesn't get back up when Mr. I throws him through another wall. He heads toward his wife, but stops to help Frozone when he gets a shovel across his noggin. Meanwhile the Blue Raja has decided to be more careful after a spoon ricocheted and hit him. Dash is still running circles round him.
Elastigirl is still holding her own against the Sphinx and the Bowler, but the haunted bowling ball just got loose, it will soon be 3 on one. She probably won't do as well there. Behind her Mr. Incredible finally stops the Shoveler, though not in a way he meant too I'm sure. The shovel hit him in the back; snapped in half; and the point went back into the Shoveler's face. Again he turns to help his wife, but the haunted bowling ball sends him sprawling back out into the moat, temporarily out of the fight. When the bowling ball comes back to help his daughter it hits a solid wall, courtesy of Violet, and shatters!
The Bowler screams in anguish, and Elastigirl takes advantage of the distraction by giving her an upper cut that sends her flying into the moat. Judging by the heap she landed in, she won't be back.
Meanwhile, the sheild wall Violet put up also ricochet a knife the Blue Raja was throwing as well. It skewered him. Not pretty! The Sphinx is the only one left now. The Incredible family makes short work of him, and its over.

Winner: The Incredibles (1-0)
Mystery Men (0-1)

Match 6 - Robert Newell
Shrek's Team vs The Pokemon
Group AA - Shrek's Swamp

Shrek, Fiona, Donkey and Puss in Boots were sitting down to a nice (relatively) dinner. There came a knock on the door. "This better not be one of those door to door salesmen" Shrek harumphed. "I'll get it" chimed in Donkey. "That's the best friend's job" he said to Puss in Boots. Donkey, somehow, opened the door and saw a young boy. "We don't want any" Donkey said as he turned to slam the door in Ash's face. "Wow, a donkachu" Ash marvelled "I've never seen one of you before. He tossed a plastic ball at Donkey, hitting him in the head. "A donk-a-what did you call me?" Donkey snorted in frustration "I happen to be.." he didn't get any further before he was hit by another plastic ball. Ash thought the first one had malfunctioned. "Oooh, that is IT!" Donkey brayed as he smashed Ash in the face with a vicious two footed kick. Ask sailed through the air hitting a tree and then all the branches on the way down. He landed in bog and sunk, bruised, bleeding and unconcious to his death. As none of his pokemon had been deployed, they eventually will starve in their balls deep in the swamp.
Donkey might have felt some remorse, but he missed the part where Ash died. He was already back at his seat at the table. "Who was that?" Fiona asked sweetly. "Aw, I dunno, some red and white plastic ball salesman" Donkey replied. Shrek asked "So, was he red and white, or were the balls..."

Winners: Shrek's Team (1-0)
The Pokemon (0-1)

Match 7 - Robert Newell
The Jedi Masters vs The Startrek Captains
Group T - Geonosis Arena

Janeway had, as usual, bungled the First Contact. She ignored a direct order from Captain Kirk, who had the command by virtue of his date of rank, and left to talk to Master Jinn who clearly had to be the leader. The jedi were none too pleased to have their meditations interrupted by such a buffoon. When Qui-Gon had informed her that Master Yoda was their leader, Janeway laughed replying that the little green man couldn't possibly be in charge. "Quite stupid you are, however captain did you become?" Yoda queried. Janeway was insulted and left in a huff. She told the others that the aliens were beligerent. Captain Picard tried to argue against her proposed attack, but Kirk overruled him. Janeway was charming him, and he was a sucker for anything on two legs that was even theoretically female.
Phasers blazing, the Kirk, Sisko and Janeway attacked. Yoda, Mace and Qui-Gon were well prepared and reflected the phaser beams with their lightsabers. Janeway's beam vaporized Kirk, Kirk's pulse killed Sisko, and Sisko's blast somehow killed Picard. Janeway stood for a brief second, dumbfounded. A purple blade went snicker-snak, and Janeway's head spun off into the air. The Masters returned to their meditation.

Winners: The Jedi Masters (1-0)
Star Trek Captains (0-1)

Match 8 - Mark Ailshie
The Enforcers vs. The Dreadnoks
Group M - Everglades Park

"I just wish I'd had time to pack my bazooka," says Sledge Hammer for the tenth time.
"For the last time, Inspector Hammer," says Sam Gerrard in a tired voice. "We can make do with the weapons we've got."
"If we need that kind of heavy action," Harry tells Sledge, "I'll lend you a couple of grenades. That'll teach these vermin to keep their heads down. Sledge smiles and draws GUN. "I like this guy," he tells his gun. "Finally, a cop with his heart in the right place."
"Quiet!" barks John McCLlaine. "I thought I heard something."
The four officers pause for a moment, and the distinct whine of motors is heard, coming closer, real fast.
Suddenly, out of the swamps ahead pop four swamp bikes, the engines revved at high speed. Zartan and the Dreadnoks buzz by them, laughing as they do. The Enforcers dive for cover.
"Ripper," calls Zartan from the back of his bike. "Lay down some cover fire."
"Can do, Zartan. Eat lead, coppers!" Ripper opens up with his machine gun, and Buzzer and Torch continue to circle on their bikes, taunting the cornered policemen.
"Those scumsuckers aren't wearing their helmets," says Sledge between clenched teeth. "And they're shooting at me. Neither is very healthy."
"Keep your head down, Hammer!" shouts Gerard. "Harry, can you pick off the one with the machine gun?"
Harry draws his gun, but a stray bullet catches it on the barrel and knocks it into the swamp water.
"Now I'm really mad!" snarls Hammer. "To shoot at us is one thing, but to shoot a defenseless fire arm. That's low."
Sledge draws Gun and steps out from behind cover. Gerard shouts frantically for him to get back behind cover, but Sledge just draws his gun and talks to it. "Let's have some fun, eh amigo?"
Ripper gives one bark of laughter and levels his machine gun at Sledge.
BLAMMM!
Ripper falls, a huge bullet wound in his chest. Sledge smiles insanely. "Let's get him, Buzzer!" says
Torch, igniting his flame thrower.
BLAMMM!
Torch is knocked off his bike into a puddle of his own blood. Buzzer and Zartan spin around. "Let's get out of here, mate!" says Buzzer to Zartan.
BLAMMM!
The shot hits Buzzer in the back. Zartan jams on his accelerator and retreats. Sam Gerard steps out of cover. "Nice shooting Sledge, we--"
BLAMMM!
Gerard's mouth falls open and he falls into the slime. John McClaine leaps indignantly to his feet. "Hey, Hammer! You just shot--"
BLAMMM!
John McClaine drops wordlessly into the muck. Sledge blinks and looks around. "I'm sorry," he tells Dirty Harry. "That was reflex."
Harry nods. "I understand entirely. Now let's go get that last maggot!"
Harry grabs Ripper's gun, and Hammer grabs Torch's flame thrower, they each jump on an abandoned Swamp bike, and dash off after Zartan.
Meanwhile, Zartan is cursing his own foolishness. A frontal assault was stupid--he shouldn't have looked by this group. Now he was alone against four armed men. Not that those odds had ever hurt him before.
Zartan shoulders his bow and arrows, checks the knives in their sheaths on his legs, and dives off his bike. The bike swerves off into a tree and explodes. A moment later, Sledge and Harry pull up.
"Looks like slimeballs don't drive very well," says Sledge, glancing at the remains of the bike. "Made a cool fireball though, did you see that? It was like 'pkeeoww" up in flames just like that."
"Alright, shut up, Hammer," says Harry. "That mutant is still around."
The two cops split up, searching the swamps with magnums and itchy fingers. Zartan, camoflagued against a tree, aims his bow at Dirty Harry's back.
>Thwipp!<
The arrow punches through the back of Harry's throat. Harry chokes and fires once in the air before dying. Zartan jumps out and retrieves the gun, morphs into Clint Eastwood's distinctive scowling face, and kicks Harry's body into the swamp. Sledge comes running around the corner, his gun already out.
"I heard a shot!" he says. "Did you get him? Can I shoot him too?"
"Uh, no," says Zartan, thinking quickly. "I, uh, I shot at something, but it wasn't him."
Sledge nods with a smile. "I get it. Sometimes you just need to start shooting at things, right? It
feels good, right?" So saying, Sledge draws his gun and shoots it in the air. "Wahoo!" he shouts, and shoots again. "Yahoo!"
Zartan gives an uneasy smile, and shoots in the air as well. "Yahoo," he says, very restrained. Sledge shoots again. "Yee-hah!" he shouts. Zartan points the Magnum at the back of Sledge's head and pulls the trigger.
BLAMMM!
Zartan morphs back to his natural shape and crouches down beside him. "Yee-hah," he whispers in his dead ear.

Winner: Zartan and the Dreadnoks (1-0)
Enforcers (0-1)

Match 9 - Robert Newell
Two Rivers Army vs. The Merry Men
Group G - Minas Tirith

Richard the Lion Hearted let out a battlecry and charged his foes. He had three archers at his back and only one opponent. He casually dismissed the women next to the shaggy brute with the axe despite the blonde carrying a longbow. As he closed, he saw that the man he was to face was neary as wide as he was tall, and he was no short man. That wasn't the most disturbing thing though... he had yellow eyes. Not the yellow of sickness, but yellow and gleaming like a cat, no like a wolf. He didn't have much longer to think as he was about to close and as he lifted his sword an arrow sprouted from between his eyes. Birgitte sniffed as the man fell. She would never understand why fools thought that they could move faster than her arrows.
Robin Hood's jaw dropped. That was a miraculous shot, one he would be hard pressed to match two times in three. A literal hail of arrows forced him and his men to duck for cover. WHere were all the archers? He had only seen the woman. But they had just slain his liege lord,and he was not about to let anyone get away with that. He leaned over to Will and was about to saw something when he realized Will had an arrow sticking out of his back. There was a one inch gap in the mortar that the female archer had placed a shaft through, killing his half-brother instantly. Robin gulped, he knew that he couldn't make that shot one time in a hundred. "What do you think Little John?" Robin asked. "We need to get behind them" John Little replied. "I know that, but how?" Little John popped up to survey the situation. He was taken, again between the eyes, and fell lifeless. The whole process hadn't been more than two seconds. Robin knew when he was beat. His mind raced. His men and his lord were dead. Some demon in woman's form excelled his skill with the bow by more than he excelled the average archer. He was out of ideas, out of allies, and out of time.
Before he had made up his mind, the dark haired woman and the curly haired man came from his left as the blonde archer covered him with a drawn shaft at his left. He prepared to surrender when, out of nowhere, a dagger bloomed in his throat. "His hand was moving to his sword" Faile explained. Perrin seriously doubted that she would have seen something that his wolfsharp eyes would have missed, but he did not want to make a big scene out of it. Faile's safety was paramount, and the strangely dressed men had attacked first. Faile was ready to continue her explanation, but Perrin only nodded, and, whatever his objections, she wouldn't let anything happen to her precious wolf.

Winners: Two Rivers Army (1-0)
The Merry Men (0-1)