| Match 1 - Brian Ailshie Pirates of the Carribean vs Hulkmania Group L - Disneyland Park Pirate Joe: Somehow I don't think this is'll end well for me mates. Brian: Well, if Hulkmania's other matches are anything to go by, you may be right. And it starts like you predicted. Hulk spots Red Beard and jumps at him. The first blow send's the pirate's head (red beard wagging behind) sailing through the air. The rest of the Pirates scatter. Hulk catches Long John Silver before the others get away and reduces him to pulp. Naymor and She-Hulk try to give chase, but the pirates slip away into the maze of rides, booths, and other attractions of the park. Hours later, the Hulk's have split up and still not found the pirates. Mark: I can't believe it's taking this long. Brian: Well remember that Disneyland Park is quite large, and there are plenty of things to do. Besides the pirates are hiding in with their 'mates' on the ride of the same name. Mark: I'd think Naymor or She-Hulk would figure that out though. Brian: You'd think so, and so he does. Looks like Naymor just entered the ride. He starts mangling the pirate manikins in the ride. Suddenly one of them jabs at him with it's sword. The Prince of the Ocean takes the blade in the thigh, then snaps Barbossa's neck. However the 'immortal' pirate just laughs and stabs Naymor again! Naymor is strong though, and he batters Barbossa against the wall. Then Sparrow joins in the fray. He lunges with his own blade and Naymor is starting to bleed profusely. No matter how much damage the Atlantean deals out, the two pirates seem to shrug it off. Finally, Will Turner takes aim with Sparrow's black-powder pistol and fires. Naymor goes down. Mark: Then with a crash, Hulk and She-Hulk join the battle. Hulk pummels the two pirates by Naymor's body, and She-Hulk drop kick's Turner. Being mortal, he dies instantly; but Hulk is finding that killing the other two pirates is just as frustrating as it is futile. Sparrow (to Barbossa): You know, even though we can't die, this really HURTS! Barbossa: Welcome to my Hell! Hulk: <Smash> Why don't little bearded men <Kick, punch> shut up and die already <Pow, bang>. Sparrow: Actually, right now, I think I'd like to. Brian: He looks at She-Hulk and tosses her a coin. Sparrow: Take that, and the boy's body, and drop them on the treasure chest around the bend. Brian: She-Hulk complies, and the two Pirates' agony finally ends. Winner: Hulkmania (3-0) Pirates of the Carribean (0-1) Match 2 - Mark Ailshie Red Hand Team vs. Team X Group E - Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters Mike: Alright, one of my favorite comic books... Tom and Crow: It's a graphic novel! Mike: Whatever. Mat and his team have their work cut out for them. Hey, Crow, get me a cold one, okay? Crow: A cold...what like an ice cream? Mike: No! Come on, shoot me a silver bullet! Crow: I don't think I've...uh... got any... Tom: Oh! Gawyn and Egwene just turned a corner and came upon Colossus and the Beast. Egwene sees Beast and shouts something about Trollocs or something, and channels fire... Mike: But Beast is far too agile, and leaps onto the chandelier. Colossus changes into steel, and the flame just bounces right off him. Hey, Crow! Where's that brewski? Crow:Tedy Bruschi? I think he's on the Patriots now, uh... Mike: Never mind that! Just crack me one! Crow: Oh! Open a window! Okay! Tom: And Gawyn comes at Colossus, but his sword is useless against his iron skin. Collosus levels him with a single punch, and Beast jumps off the chandelier, bounces off a wall, and lands behind Egwene. In seconds, Dr. McCoy (The X-man, not the really old Star Trek guy) cracks Egwene's neck and she falls dead. Mike: Meanwhile, Mat and Thom have entered the lower half of the mansion, and Gambit confronts them both. Hey Crow, come on! I've got a dead soldier over here! Crow: Well, that's terribly tragic! Mike: Come on, Crow! Tap the rockies already! Crow: But...we're not playing Magic the Gathering, so how.... Tom: Well, that solves that mystery! Gambit just shot a card at Mat, and clearly his mutant powers can penetrate the fox head medallion's shield. Mat ducks aside at the last minute, and suddenly Gambit and Thom are engaged in a battle of mutually spinning daggers. Mike: And Thom scores! A knife in the gut of Gambit! But what's he doing now? Crow: It looks like Gambit is doing something to the dagger in his gut. Mike: Hey, speaking of guts, I'm still waiting for something to amplify mine! Crow: Well...I think there's an abmaster in the... Tom: Kaboom! Oh my! See, Gambit's mutant power is actually to make potential energy into kinetic energy--he can make literally anything explode. He just uses cards because he knows how to throw them. But now Thom and Gambit have both been splattered all over the walls. Mat is brathing heavy, when suddenly he hears yet another voice in his head. Mike: Well, he's probably used to that by now, but Prof. X is using his mutanty powers to command Mat to his own death, or something. Crow, I'm still waiting for those suds! Crow: Really? Did you rinse, lather and repeat, like it says to... Mike: Mat's trying to shake it off, but he's not going to be able to fight it for long. Tom: Whoops! Looks like that's all the time necessary! Colossus and Beast have arrived--probably directed by the Professor--and Beast has torn Mat's ashanderei spear out of his hands and beheaded him with it. Game, set, match! Mike: And, Crow! I'm still waiting for that beer! Crow: What beer? Winners: Team X (1-1) Red Hand Band (1-1) Match 3 - Brian Ailshie Sith Lords vs Masters of the Universe Group H - Castle Greyskull Mr. Statistics: Total annihilation. That's what I see coming today. Brian: I have to agree. Dooku just dis-armed and de-clawed He-Man and Battlecat, Maul relieved Man-at-Arms from his head, and Vader just yawned as he force-crushed She-Ra's windpipe. It was over before it really started. Winner: Sith Lords (2-1) Masters of the Universe (0-1) Match 4 - Robert Newell Group G - Minas Tirith The Scots vs The Merry Men "Englishmen? Och, I hate the English!" Groundskeeper Willie bellowed. "Actually, some of them are Welsh..." Will Thatcher began before Willie punched off his head. "Quiet you, I have some Englishmen to stomp." Willie said to Will's corpse. And stomp he did. Robin Hood, Little John and Will Scarlet all lay bleeding and broken before the Groundskeeper. Robert the Bruce and William Wallace were not about to point out that those were all Welsh, so they busied themselves in taking out Richard. Two on one was too much for the Lionheart to handle. Winner: The Scots (2-2) The Merry Men (0-3) Match 5 - Brian Ailshie True Soldiers vs Lady Heroes Group S - Cumorah Battlefield Pvt. Jackson: I only see two of them sir. Should I take them out? Col. Moore: Not yet, I want to know where that last one is. See anything Sergeant? Sgt. Powers: There's nothing still alive over this way. Sgt. Major Plumley: Here come the first two Colonel. Moore: Ok, take them out. <BRAM> <HEEE-YAAAAAH> Plumley: What the H*#$ John Madden: And Kim Possible drops from a tree and karate chops Jackson before he can fire his second shot. The private grunts in pain, but he's not out of it. Andy Katz: But Kim is! Plumley just jabbed his combat knife into the red-head's back. Moore: INCOMING!! Everyone out NOW! Madden: It seems that Mulan saw Joan of Arc go down, and the noise of Kim's fighting and decided to fire one of her Chinese rockets at the soldiers. The rocket hits the foxhole and explodes. Fortunately the soldiers are well trained to obey commands and they're out of the hole. Sgt. Powers takes aim and brings down the Chinese hero. Moore: Well done troops. Powers: That was like the Bulge for a minute there. Winner: True Soldiers (3-1) Lady Heroes (1-3) Group Finished GROUP BREAKDOWN True Soldiers: 3-1 #1 Seed Ungol's Surprise: 2-2 (tie breaker score = 1) #2 Seed Army of Israel: 2-2 (tie breaker score = 0) Servants of Evil: 2-2 (tie breaker score = -2) Lady Heroes: 1-3 |