| WEEK 9 MATCH 1 Harry Potter vs. Class of Red Shirted Ensigns USS Enterprise D Madden: Well rumble fans we have a good match here and joining me in judging are the creators of our Rumblers: JK and Gene. We'll forgo predictions and get straight to the match! Movie Voice-Over Guy: Harry Potter and the Fantastic Rumble begins with Harry searching through hall after hall on some strange ship. He runs into a few Star Fleet Ensigns, Red Class and stuns them with a quick flick of his wand. Madden: Hey, why can't I give the play by play. JK: You don't give Harry . . . Gene: . . . Or Star Trek . . . JK: . . . Enough justice. So we hired out this time. Lucas and Tolkein: We want that deal too! Mr. Obvious: Can we get on with it? People are waiting for the result of the fight. MVOG: In time the entire class is chasing Harry. They seem to be luring him to the Cargo bay of the Enterprise. Gene: Now my team will get a victory. Mr. Potter will be trapped! JK: He's been trapped before and come out far and ahead of others. Madden: Can I just say that Harry will still have the upper hand as long as he has his wand? Mr. Obvious: You just did. MVOG: One of the Red Shirted Ensigns claims to have the unique alien with a stick trapped. However, with a swish of his wand and an exclamation of "Stupify!" all of Harry's foes are motionless. He goes over to a door and finds it locked. He tries "Alohamora!" and taps a panel. Mr. Obvious: It opens the air lock! Gene: the vacuum sucks out all of the Ensigns! JK: But not Harry! He has grabbed onto a nearby wall and cries out "Expecto Patronus!" MVOG: A silver-white stag erupts from his wand and charges to the panel. In moments the air lock is back on and Harry has won. Madden: Now for the scores: Gene: I can only see this as a technical win. Sure Harry won, but only after his stag saved him. I'll score a 6. JK: No offense, but you are totally wrong. Harry is not used to fighting Muggles. His strengths lie in battling wizards-I score him a 9. He could have beaten them quicker. Madden: I happen to agree with both of you. True Harry won because of his deer-thingy, but he was able to use one. That is playing to your advantages. Besides, the match could have been called after all of the guys in red shirts floated off into space and died. Harry was still alive then and was the winner. He just needed to survive to get himself declared so.I'll score a 7. Mick Dundee: That�s not a wand, THIS is a wand! Brian: Whoa! Put it away man. Just give us a score on the match. Mick: Well, Harry out did those fellas on their own land kinda like when I showed to those New Yorka�s back in my first movie. I�ll give him a 9. Merlin: Regretfully, I find myself forced to admit that young Harry is still but a boy, and a second-rate spellcaster at that. This being said, I think it would not be unreasonable to give the child a 7. Final Average Score: 7.60 (6, 9, 7, 9, 7) MATCH 2 The Witch-king of Angmar vs. the Power Rangers Carn D�m, Angmar, Arda (Middle-Earth) Tolkien: What a coup! The Witch King has the home court advantage at his capital- fortress of Carn D�m! How did he get so lucky? Alexander: I just really hate the Power Rangers. The match begins as the most recent incarnations of the Power Rangers, the Jungle Fury, Operation Overdrive and Mystic Force teams, all assault the Witch-king in tandem. These are easily slain by blows from the Lord of the Nazg�l's gigantic morning star flail. Next to approach are Space Patrol Delta, Dino Thunder, and Ninja Storm. The Witch-king raises his two-handed sword (which he wields one-handed) to the sky, and the blade catches flame. This fiery instrument of death then slashes and burns through the Power Rangers, leaving another 15 or so brightly-colored teenagers dead. Now dual-wielding the massive flail and the flaming sword, Er-Murazor (his postulated original N�menorean name,) eviscerates, decapitates and just plain mangles his way through the Wild Force, Time Force, Lightspeed Rescue, Lost Galazy and In Space incarnations of the Rangers. This method is equally effective against Turbo, Zeo and Alien Rangers. With about a hundred dead rangers surrounding him, the Witch-king at last faces the original Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. Er-Murazor pulls six Morgul Blades out from under his cloak, one for each of the Rangers. They deserve a fate worse than death for bringing such a vile thing as "Power Rangers" into existence, he reasons. With a characteristic shriek, he flings the blades at the Rangers. The original Rangers pass into shadow as wraiths, punished for their Ranger-dom with an eternity of servitude to the Dark Lord. Alexander: Yes, I did have to look up the different Ranger groups online. And yes, it did make me want to have them destroyed even more than before. So what do you say judges? Mouth of Sauron: My master, Sauron the Great, says... he's a winner! Perfect 10! Chuck Norris: Well... he cleaned them up pretty good, but he just didn't do it with style. It was all just hack and slash. I'm gonna have to give him a 6. Darth Revan: Simple, yet effective. He gets an 8.5 in my book. Owl: Well battling multiple teams certainly earns some points, but having the battle in your own "neck of the wood" so to speak looses something. That reminds me of my third cousin, twice removed, Helmut, who once lost something. If fact that... Alexander: Owl, please just score the match. Owl: Oh, yes. I will score an 8. Now for those that want to hear the story... Mick Dundee: Another 9. That guy is kinda creepy. Final Average Score: 8.30 (10, 6, 8.5, 8, 9) MATCH 3 Malissant vs an Mob of Gladiators Plamnor Castle, Malja Appearing in the middle of the great hall is the darkest of dark Shehaps, Malissant. Surrounding him are 20 of the greatest gladiators of Rome. With a deafening roar in several different languages and dialects of the Roman world, they charge. And yet Malissant's pale face twists in a wry grin. He stretches out his hands and from each finger comes a different blast of power and evil, each a different color some with flames or ice, some shades that could only be described as cold or deathly. Each beam takes down a gladiator. Some evaporate instantly. They are the lucky ones, others writhe painfully on the floor. Even still the courage of the remaining warriors is strong, their charge continues. Malissant raises a hand and points. Nine times a new blast of malice, fear, pain, and the like, jets forth. Each takes down another gladiator. Finally almost casually Malissant points over his shoulder and the last gladiator bursts into flames. His screams echo around the room for quite a while. Uncle Sam: Well all the colors reminded me of a great fireworks display. I like it. I'll give him a 9. Not Santa: I think he did good, lots of pain and suffering. Malissant's always good for that! HO HO HO! Except he was in Malja, so he kinda got a home court advantage. Mark: Except that Plamnor Castle is the home of his rival Venture. Not exactly friendly turf for Malissant. Not Santa: That does change it a little. I guess I can give him an 8. Single Word Stan: Destructive. 8 Comic Book Guy: Hello guys! It is so clear that Malissant, the Greatest of Dark Shehaps, destroyed the less than impressive Romans with absolute force, one that any adventurer would find totally amazing and ultimitely impresive. Best win by a Shehap ever! 10. Darth Revan: This match proves that Malissant is far too bloodthirsty to be an efficacious Dark Lord. Why kill what you can exploit, what you can turn to your cause? I'll give him a 5 just for his alacrity's sake. Final Average Score: 8.00 (9, 8, 8, 10, 5) |