Setting-a very large log raft with 2 decks and log stairs leading up.

The cast-Me, some guy I knew in high school, a couple dozen little midget things the size of treasure Trolls wearing big yellow shiny party hats, and an anthropomorphic talking crow.

The story-seems to pick up in the middle of me introducing myself, my old high school chum, and the crow to the trolls.

Me- *Stricken with the smart ass impulse to lie* Uh..we're from MARS!! and we spend ALL DAY eating CANDY BARS and PIZZA!!

Guy from High school- *Gives me a disgusted incredulous look*

Lead Troll-You playing people?? We play people too!!!

*All the Trolls start doing this camera sped up looking stupid dance while this irritating keystone cops music plays (y'know, "diddle diddle duh! diddle diddle duh! diddle diddle diddle diddle, DIDDLE DIDDLE DUH!" Really fast on the piano)*

Crow-I know how to handle this. I have a little trick for situations like this that always works. *Grabs the nearest troll, holds him down, pulls out a butcher knife from nowhere, and slits the troll's throat. The troll goes stiff like an inanimate troll doll. The crow tosses it's carcass into the water*

Me- *Stands in admiring wonder as the crow dude systematicly butchers the annoying vermonous little bastards*

Guy from High School-Alright!!

*The Crow has just finished slaughtering to whole "crew", of stupid little Troll things thanks to the magic of accelerated dream time. The keystone cop music and dancing ends with the death of the last one*

Crow-There, that aughtta do it. Call me when we reach land. *Goes to the lower deck to sleep*