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'How do you know?� �Margaret told me.� After
Leo had shouted at me for the hundredth time, I had
stormed into Margaret�s office and demanded to know what
was wrong with Leo. Unsure whether or not to tell me,
eventually, after I bullied her a little, she had. The next
time Leo shouted at me, about ten minutes later, I
just let it go. �Poor Leo.� I almost smiled.
Sam was nicer than I was. I spent almost the whole
day being angry with Leo for being angry with me when
he was really angry with Jen. And Sam�s first
thought was to feel sorry for Leo. I am so lucky to have
found him. And to have found out he felt the same way
about me as I did about him. After a little blundering
about. Well, a lot of blundering, actually. I
remember when I had made up my mind to find out if I was
wrong about Sammy and me. We worked well together, were
good friends. If I had misjudged things, making a move
could freak Sammy out and one of us would probably have
to resign. I was determined it wouldn�t be Sammy. I
mean, you shouldn�t have to fall on your sword just cos
you react badly to being groped by a guy you thought
was just a good friend. Both of us were shocked
when I kissed Sammy the first time. Sammy was shocked
at being kissed. And I was shocked at how quickly he
responded. And how I felt at his response. After that, we
went out for pizza and spent the whole night talking.
I woke up about 3 a.m. with his head in my lap. I
watched him sleep, then we had our first row. Well, row
is too strong. He opened his eyes and his first
words were: �Were you watching me
sleep?� �No.� �Liar.� And we had kissed again. That was all. For a long
time. Just kisses, the occasional hug. A little
snuggling when we were watching TV or reading, sitting next
to each other on the sofa. At the time, I think I
was more sure of my feelings for Sammy than he was of
his for me. Now I know it was the other way round.
Younger, and in a less senior position in the White House,
Sammy had waited for me to make the first move. And it
had, apparently, been a frustrating wait. But it had
been worth the wait. Now, finally, aged forty years
and seven days, I had found the person I wanted to
spend the rest of my life with. Samuel Norman Seaborn.
After a few brief flings � Mallory, Laurie, and a
couple of others � he�d apparently worked out who he was
and what he wanted. Me. Us. Together. Forever. With
any luck. I take a large sip of my drink and realise
that the one thing I had been denying all these years
is true. I can�t hold my drink. I lean a little
harder on Sammy and he smiles, pushing me down into a
chair. I cover his hand with mine. I don�t even realise
I�m doing it until I look at my hand and realise I�m
stroking his with my thumb. And he�s letting me. He thinks
I don�t know how he feels about me touching him in
public. But I do. And I stop, moving my hand away.
Moments later, his hand covers mine, and his finger
begins to stroke the back of my hand.
Perfect. �Can I take this?� Leo is holding the file with thelease documents in. �Take it where?� �To look at.� �Yes. But I need it back. I have a meeting with the landlord on Friday.� �Okay.� I pour us both another drink. �Are Fred and Ginger coming tonight?� Leo smiles. �Toby and CJ? No. I think one visit was enough for them.� I pretend anger. �Are you criticising my club, McGarry?� He panics, worried he had upset me. �No. It�s just they�re not really�� �A couple?� Leo nods. �Yeah.� I nod across the room. �Unlike those two. What a change. They�re so much happier.� I hope Leo sees it too. �Yeah, it must be nice now they can be open about�� I decide not to tease Leo about his inability to talk freely about Joshua and Samuel. Not just now, anyway. Maybe later� |