Flames of the Phoenix, by Kryssa

Disclaimer: I disclaim FY and the song Burn by JoDee Messina.

Notes: When I first heard this song, I was at a live concert of JoDee's. It was a previously unheard song because it was on her then-unreleased CD (making it was the first time most of Illinois had heard it too). But when she sang these passionate words… I was with my mom and I couldn't stop crying. It just reminded me of the things parents do for children… and perhaps what gods do for their people.

This fic is dedicated/a gift to my fellow authoress Roku Kyu. Not only is it a birthday present (9/13! Go wish her happy b-day, peoples!!!) but her story White Stones inspired some of this fic. ::waves happily:: Hope you like it, Roku-chan!!!

Flames of the Phoenix

I look down upon them and smile. Those hundreds of thousands of people that live in my land, the uncountable ones who have already returned to me as their destinies decreed- they are my children. Each face is unique and beautiful, each dream they dream is a prayer to me, and each spirit is tempered of a different fire. Some grow to be unkind or hurtful, some become broken beyond any human repair, some are so wonderful that even the gods cry when they reach the heavens.

And some are born to light up the world with all the blessed fire of a phoenix.

For that is what it means to be a sei of Suzaku. To be one of my star warriors- my seishi- it is a burden more than any mortal should have to carry. Yet they do and all of them shine like the stars they bear the names of.

Chichiri

Tamahome

Nuriko

Hotohori

Chiriko

Tasuki

Mitsukake

I love them so much that words have no meaning. Though I love all my people, these seven are the ones I cherished amongst the masses and cursed with the knowledge of their fate as my soldiers. For some had to live long and others to die young, some had to suffer and others to know the greatest joys this world had to offer. But one thing they did not know was how much I cared for them, and I did this by protecting them from the will of the gods.

I never intended them to be pawns in the contest of the celestials. Not any of them; I could not bear the thought of tying down my treasured seven to some gods-forsaken game my brothers wanted to play. I gave them something that none of the other three had thought to give their own seishi, for their thoughts were too clouded with the visions of their names being raised up high in homage and adoration.

I gave them the chance to fly.

I gave them the freedom to grow and become their own persons without any godly intervention. I gave it generously, knowing that this gift would never be seen by the seven, would never be known as more than just a natural part of their lives. They wouldn't see it, wouldn't ever know their existence to be so much more blessed than their Genbu, Byakko, or Seiryuu counterparts. I opened up the roads for them and stayed by their side each step of the way.

And as they went down their paths, all came together for one young girl. They came to know their miko and each other, and someway somehow found themselves as changed by her spark as she was changed by theirs.

Do you wanna be a poet and write

Do you wanna be an actor of the lights

Do you wanna be a soldier and fight for love

Do you wanna travel the world

Do you wanna be a diver for pearls

Or climb a mountain and touch the clouds above

I never knew who my miko would be until she arrived, though I could have chosen a young lady from the other world as my brothers did. I had no interest in doing so. Not only was I giving my seishi freedom but I also allowed fate to bring me the most fitting girl for the task of gathering them and calling me.

She was more than I could have hoped for.

So unsure of her place in her world, she came running into ours with all the drama of youth on her shoulders. She accepted the place of the Suzaku no Miko, and she believed her role to be only that of a main character in a book- until she realized how real these people were and that the pages held more than symbols.

And it was when she understood that truth that she finally became her own woman. It seemed (irony of ironies) that even though I did nothing to mold her life, others were determined to do it for me. But once she came to Konan, I offered her as many choices as I offered my beloved so she too could be anyone she wanted to be.

I have not regretted the decision. Even when the choices she made caused so much sorrow to those around her and to myself, I knew I couldn't force her to change. With time, she would grow up to become the Suzaku no Miko to whom no legend's words could do justice. And she did. She made me undeniably proud.

The wishes I granted her, the dreams I helped her bring to life… I gave them to her on the condition that she bring my seishi together and summon me to earth. But my reasoning for the trials that they endured to invoke my power was more than just a task Taiitsu-kun sent them on for her amusement.

In life, reaching the end of the journey is not what matters, but the journey itself and the experiences that come with it. That is what I had truly wanted, to have her and my seishi bond in such a way that nothing could break their love and fealty towards each other. When she made her final wish, to save her city and people from the damage I had helped inflict and giving up her selfish impulse to live happily ever after, it was then that I knew how far she had gone and how much all of them had learned.

And all I asked in return for this gift of maturity and love was one thing.

Be anyone you want to be

Bring to life your fantasies

But I want something in return

My sons and my daughter, I want you to burn.

Burn like a blaze in the darkness that eats this world whole. Burn away all the pain and anger that fuels the night and bring your holy light down upon the people. Burn so bright that all who look upon you may be forever transformed, and all who meet you are reborn from their own embers of atonement.

Yet do not burn just for them.

Burn for yourselves, you who have given your lives and deaths up for this country and god. Burn with the glorious flames of energy, love, and passion reaching ever higher until they touch the heavens and light it up. Burn like the fires borne of my wings, the fires that bring ruin and rebirth beyond your wildest imagination.

But I also ask that you burn for me. Burn your failures as a sacrifice- your attempts, your half-dreamt dreams, your gifts not truly given will be turned to the purest of ashes from which you will rise. For I know that you burn as strong as any holocaust of destruction, though your fires are the heart of creation. Burn your victories, your joys, and your loyalties up to the god of fire and love.

Burn for me, my children. Burn for me.

I want you to burn

Burn for me baby

Like a candle in my night

I want you to burn

Burn for me

When they were new in spirit and body, unborn infants still warm in their mother's wombs, I came to them for the first time. I kissed them all and the symbols of the stars were forever emblazoned upon their bodies. From that moment on, I watched ever-so-carefully as these seven radiant souls grew and blossomed.

Many times I asked them what they wanted to be, and I listened with an elated heart to the answers. Not by words but by deeds and fate was I told of their futures.

A sensitive monk

A loving husband

A devoted brother

A merciful emperor

A brilliant child

A passionate bandit

A gentle doctor

All so different, all so alike. And all molded of their own choices and their own destinies. Together they climbed mountains, fought alongside the people they'd sworn to protect, forged the wilderness of other lands, and defeated the greatest of evils in two worlds.

All because I gave them the freedom to burn.

Are you gonna be a gambler and deal

Are you gonna be a doctor and heal

Or go to Heaven and touch God's face

Are you gonna be a dreamer who sleeps

Are you gonna be a sinner who weeps

Or an angel under grace

Although I did grant my seishi the privilege of carving their own niches in the world, it did not stop Seiryuu from sending his seishi and miko into my affairs. Though the book in the mikos' world was supposed to bring only the Suzaku no Miko to the seishi's world, it was his damned imposition that forced the last two mikos to come and fight the very bitter fight- one that should have never happened.

It was his seishi, so heartlessly sacrificed, that killed three of my dearest children. It was his miko who was molded into hating and warring with her best friend- my miko. It was his bloodlust and his need for power that sealed me in the heavens and forced me to watch as his chosen ones destroyed worlds and lives, leaving me unable to help.

All the tears shed, all the wounds suffered, and all the prayers I could not answer burned me like nothing on the face of the worlds or heavens. For there is no pain like the sound of one's children crying out for help and the searing anguish of being unable to reach down and comfort them. So when I was at last freed from Seiryuu's trap, I took all the grief and sadness that my disappearance had caused in the hearts of my people and fueled my own fire.

The heart and soul of the phoenix had died, but it would always rise from the ashes to live again.

I'll lay down on your bed of coals

Offer up my heart and soul

But in return

They questioned me. Many times, often after they had come together and shared one another's pain.

"Why did you let him die?"

"Why didn't you help us?"

"Why me?"

And I answered, though they couldn't hear my words.

Because it was his choice, not mine, to take that final step and join me in the heavens.

Because if I helped you in the way you wanted me to, and not in the way I did, you would not be the men and woman you are today.

Because I love you and I know you are the only ones who can carry this burden without falling. Because not only do I carry it with you, it is all eight of you that will catch each other when you falter.

I hated when they raged against my judgement and compassion, for it felt as if they were moments away from giving up and turning their backs to me. Though their wavering trust cut like Seiryuu's ice through my heart, I never lost faith in them, because my love is unconditional and heartfelt. In my infinite wisdom, I let them lash out at the one whom was easiest to blame.

But that which does not kill can only make you stronger. And for a seishi of Suzaku, that which brings you pain will only kindle the flames.

How can you burn without a fire?

I want you to burn

Burn for me baby

Like a candle in my night

I want you to burn

Burn for me

I want you to burn baby

I ask for them to burn for me. I asked it of them in the past and I will ask it of them in the future. But do not mistake my words as a demand for deeds; I am not forcing them to do anything they do not want to. All I ask is that each day they send their actions up to me, no matter how small or irrelevant they may seen.

As each parent must make forfeit some part of themselves to see their children go far, so I too have done the same. I do not do any of these things that they do- my senses are not those that any mortal can comprehend. In being a god I have no knowledge of the things that humans do.

So I ask them to laugh for me, so I can remember what it is like to feel so much joy that it cannot be held in.

I ask them to cry for me, so I can remember the tender pains that befall every human being and never harden my heart to their tears.

I ask them to pray to me, as every god asks their people to speak with them about their trials and triumphs in that very personal way.

I ask them to fly for me, to spread their wings and carry themselves upon the winds of hope and faith and fantasy.

I ask them to live for me and truly fulfill that duty I set in front of them.

I ask them to die not only for me but for all they hold dear. For all their morals and principles, I want them to come to me knowing they lived as best they could.

I ask them to burn for me.

Laugh for me

Cry for me

Pray for me

Fly for me

Live for me

Die for us

As each spark faded on the earth, so they came to join me in the heavens where I stood at the gates to greet them. When they saw me there, my arms open and a gentle smile upon my face, each one came to me with unabashed joy bursting throughout their ethereal beings. Their god, this untouchable deity, knew them and loved them enough to wait for them at the threshold of paradise, and I could feel the contentment shining off them like a beacon of ultimate bliss.

I, in turn, held them close to me, as a father holds his long-lost children for the first time in an eternity. I could never do it while they still wore their flesh forms, but now I lifted them up to my breast and carried them into their new home and their patient families.

They were safe now; they had earned their rest after the long and arduous journey called life. And when they were all together, I could feel something radiating from their combined flares- something so wonderful that it caught the heart of a god and made me tremble with reverence and awe. It was an emotion so much more than just love- an emotion that has no name though every human deserves to know and rejoice in its glory. So they gave it to me and I painted the sky with their spirits, bringing a new light to the dawning day and new peace to all the people. It was their final parting gift to their world.

The Suzaku no Shichiseishi had burned like seven beautiful candles in the midst of an undying night. Though their lives had passed, their souls would still blaze hotter than the sun and stars, leaving behind a legacy no darkness would ever defile.

I want you to burn

Burn for me baby

Like a candle in my night

I want you to burn

Burn for me

They burned brief, bright, and heartbreakingly beautiful. They burned for their people, for themselves, for me.

And when the time is right and when they are ready… they will burn again.

I want you to burn

I want you to burn for me baby

Burn for me

I want you to burn

I want you to burn for me baby

I don't really believe any of the four gods to be the evil manipulators most people seem to be fond of characterizing them as (especially Seiryuu). In this case, though, it worked best that Suzaku was the only one who truly loved his seishi for their spirits and selves and not because of their titles.

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