Disclaimer                : They're not mine, no matter how much I wanted them *sob*

Pairing                     : 2+1/1+2

Warnings : yaoi, drama?^^;(you've been warned!!)

Author                     : Midori Green ([email protected])

Feedback                : Sure, just write to me

Notes                       : THIS SHOUJO MOOD IS DRIVING ME CRAZY, but I'm cool with that, so..enjoy...

 

 

WHEN YOU CAME HOME       

 

"So, you're moving out tonight?" Duo's voice broke the silence.  His figure stood at the door of Heero's private room.  Heero was putting his clothes into a blue gym bag and there's a box filled with books and some stuffs in his side.

 

"Hn," was his only answer, trying to ignore his--now 'ex lover'.

"Are you sure you're going to stay with her in that--palace?"

"Yes, this is what I want, Duo.  Please don't make it so much harder for me."

"I'm sorry," he sighed, "I know I didn't have the rights to stop you.  But I just don't want you to go..."

Heero felt a husky tone in his voice.  He turned around and saw the violet eyes start to look glassy.

 

"Duo, we had made a commitment." He reminded him.

"I know..." He smiled softly. "No emotions." How can you be so cruel? We've lived together for the past six months and hoping for me to have no emotions for you?!

 

"We're not supposed to started this from the first time." Heero said, "it's just going to hurt both of us..."

"No, don't say that you're sorry."  Duo startled him. "I'm happy you've gave me a chance to actually have someone in my life, Heero.  Just don't say that you're sorry for what happened between us..."

 

Heero smiled, wiping the tears from Duo's cheek.

"You've been a great roommate, Duo,"  he said softly.

"No I'm not." He smiled, touching Heero's hand. "You're always mad if I talked too much or messed around with your books and all..." He started babbling.

 

Heero chuckled, neglecting Duo's hand and continue packing. "You could always come to see me at Relena's palace, I mean--place."

"I think I'll pass the offer, I think I'm going to interrupt you guys or something.  I mean the war is over now, so maybe I might consider to go home, to L2."

"You're going back?" Heero looked at him directly, but Duo was looking to the other way.

"Uh-huh. I have friends there, and a job waiting..."

Heero felt a heavy weight dropped on his shoulders, "Will I ever see you again?"

Duo shrugged his shoulders, "sure.  I'll come to your wedding with Relena someday, and maybe you'll come to see mine--eh?" He grinned.

"Hn."

"Heero."

"Hai?"

"Arigatou ne, for everything.  For being there for me.  It's kinda hard to survive the war all by myself.  I'm glad it was you who stand there beside me..."

"Me too...."

 

Heero put the last clothes in the bag and looked at the braided boy in front of him.  "I guess this is goodbye.."

 

Duo smiled. A painful smile. "No, don't say goodbye."

"Hn," he smiled, tried to look calm as always.

"Ja ne, Heero-kun.."

 

                                                                ######

 

Duo almost ran to the nearest window looking outside, trying to see Heero leaving the building.  There's a limousine outside the small apartment waiting for him to come down.  It must've been one of Relena's, sent to take his Heero from him.

Don't you dare to cry, Maxwell. He said to himself. You know this will happen sooner or later.  There's no use to cry.

Not even a kiss goodbye, he didn't even bother to look up for me, he sighed.

"Heero, come back. Please come back." His mouth whispered, but nobody listened but himself.

 

It was beautiful what had happened between them.  All the days of war they'd been together, fighting side by side.  And one of those days they knew they needed each other's comfort. 

Heero and his loneliness as the Perfect Soldier, but Duo knew he was just an ordinary man inside.  He needed warmth and someone to hold him.  And Duo with his past, the cold nights he spent on the streets all alone gave him all the knowledge to understand Heero's pain.  And Duo also needed someone there to hold him in the middle of his nightmares.  They met, and they found each other.

They've shared so many pains together. Nights of nightmares are easier to forget if there's someone there to hold you and saying that everything is going to be all right.

And he started to cry.

 

He loved Heero, whether he wanted it or not.  He couldn't control the feelings for the Japanese boy.  He was always there for him. Shouted at him, spoiled him, teased him, kissed him, made love to him.  And another tear glistened.

 

Well, the war was over now.  The Perfect Soldier wasn't a soldier anymore.  He didn't need you anymore.  He didn't have any reason to stick with you any longer.

But it's not just because of the war for Duo.  He did all that for Heero.  Because he loved him.  Because he couldn't live without Heero.

 

 

Heero tried hard not to look up to the window in the third floor.  He knew if he saw those beautiful violet eyes he could never escape the charm of the angel of death. 

No goodbye kiss, he decided.  Once you plunge yourself to his kiss you could never let him go, it would only drown you to his world.

Damn it, Yuy.  You know that you loved him, so why did you even dare to hurt him, and most of all, hurt yourself.

 

No! It must end right now. There's no future you see in this relationship. A relationship that based by a one nightstand during the war. Because of all the loneliness.

Why there's always doubt in his heart? He asked himself. 

Did Duo really love him? Or did he just need him to be his guardian between the nightmares of wars?

It must stop. Right here, right now. And Relena was his way out.

 

                                                                ######

 

"Heero--!!"

Relena's sweet smile greeted him at the gate of Sanc Palace. He smiled to the girl and she gave him a kiss. She throws her hands to the back of his neck and tried to deepen the kiss. Heero closed his eyes, trying to enjoy the kiss. He soon remembered Duo's kisses. A naughty kiss indeed, the way he teased Heero's tongue and licked his lips, Heero would soon response with a hard kiss.

He felt Relena is melting in her knees seems quite enjoying the kiss he gave her, so he pushed her.  That's surprised her a little.

"Heero, what's wrong?" She asked with a dazed voice.

"Um..nothing. Daijoubu da." He couldn't tell her that the only reason he reacted to the kiss was the thought of Duo's body in his arm, and Duo's lips in his.

Control yourself, Yuy.  This is Relena, the girl you’re supposed to be in loved with, the girl that loved you all this time, and not Duo.

 

"Well, come on," he feels a soft hand in his arm. "Our friends are waiting inside"

"Our--friends?"

"Yes, we're supposed to have a dinner tonight, remember? Just a few friends, and--oh--the other pilots arrived this afternoon, except Duo, I invited him but he said he couldn't come."

Of course he wouldn't come. Why did she have to invite him anyway? Relena didn't knew about him, that's why...

Heero's shoulders stiffened. The others? Oh no, this is going to be a very good dinner alright--Of course they didn't know about him and Duo either, but still, seeing them would remind him of the days of war--of Duo.  Well, most of all things reminded him of Duo now.

 

"Hey, Heero!!" Quatre smiled widely as he entered the dining room with Relena. The Arabian was standing beside the ex-pilot of Heavyarms.

Relena soon left him with his old comrades.

"So, how are you guys doing?" Heero asked, no smile of course.

"Fine, you're looking great. I always knew that you and Relena would soon end up together.." Quatre give him a handshake.

"I wondered about that" Trowa said uncertainly, he could saw the look on Heero's face. And it's far from happiness.

"Hn. Where's Wufei?"

"He's with Sally talked about works all the time, you know that he's in the preventer now." Trowa answered, looking at him worriedly. He just knew there's something wrong with his Japanese friend.

"Hey, where's Duo? Isn't he coming with you, Heero?" Quatre asked suddenly. "I thought he's living with you after the war?"

Heero's heart pounded hard.

"He's not feeling very well." He said the words with no emotion, like he always did--but inside--his heart hurt.

"Well that's too bad. He could cheer this party up.  I never like formal dinners." Trowa snorted in quiet.

Heero looked around. A few people look more like troops, they were all Relena's high classes friends dressed in expensive gowns and tuxedos. This dinner looked like a funeral.

He remembered the cheerful days he spent with Duo in the apartment shortly after the war.

Duo bought a lot of food and don't forget--a lot of ice creams--and decided to have a fireworks party for the two of them in the roof. It was fun and messy. Heero keep yelling at him to stop launching the fireworks and starts to eat his ice creams before it melts. But he just smiled that mischievous smile of his and dragged Heero to make love to him in the roof. Heero didn't refuse. He remembered the sensations to be in top of his lover's body that night and the most beautiful violet eyes looked up to the sky and he said, "Heero, do you know that if we make love under the full moon our love will be eternal?"

Heero looked up and saw what his angel saw, he smiled lovingly.

"I thought that's only for man and woman"

"Well, whatever..." And Duo kissed him.

 

 

A soft touch in his shoulder brought him back to the ground.

"Heero, we're going to start the party." Relena stared at him with a smile on her face. Heero nodded and walked beside her and took his place beside the girl.

The dinner was extravagant. The foods were great, according to Quatre's classy taste. The guests seemed to enjoy themselves, accept maybe Wufei. He thought that coming to the dinner was completely wasting his time, he could've chasing bad guys out there or something. Heero was in silence most of the time.

"Heero, what's the matter?" Relena looked worried. Heero was a quiet guy, but not this kind of quiet.

"I'm okay.." He answered. But everything was not okay, he kept thinking about Duo. What is he doing right now? What if he's riding a shuttle to L2 right about now? What if he could never saw him again? The thoughts gave him the fear.

 

"Let's go out side, to have some fresh air?" Relena already tugged his shirt. Heero let the girl lead him to the balcony.

"Tonight's a full moon." She whispered, "I think it would be nice if I could spend the night with you."

"Full--moon?" he looked up and saw the beautiful moon, there's a reflection of Duo in the round shape. But he's not smiling to him like he always did, he's crying. And he's the one that made him that way...

"Heero..." A hand slip in Heero's waist "I want to make love to you.."

He stunned.

He's the one who always said those words to Duo. All Duo needed to ask him was just a seducing kiss and a drag to the bed, to the sofa, or to the floor. Hell, they'd done it in every inch of their apartment.

"When we make love under the moonlight, our love will be eternal." Heero said softly to himself, still looking to the full moon.

"Mmm..that's right."

Relena felt strong hands on her waist, but not to engulf her but to push her aside.

"I'm sorry Relena. I can't. It's not fair for you..." He said at the end, looking to the girl right in the eyes. Relena thought she could melt in that deep blue gaze.

"W--What?" She let go of her hands.

"It was a mistake, all of it. My decision to stay here, and the kiss.."

"Heero.."

"I-m trying to run away from my feelings, I thought I could control them, but...." His voice turned to a husky tone, his eyes filled with deep sadness.

"Hee...ro" Relena was one step back on her feet.

"I have to say this before I hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone anymore, I already hurt the heart of someone that I loved more than life before--and..and it hurts me--I..."

Tears. Tears welled up in his eyes. Relena couldn't believe it. Heero Yuy, The Perfect Soldier--cried?

She's staring at him with a shocked expression.

"I have to go..before it's too late."

Relena turned away. "To see him?"

Heero looked at her in an instant, shocked. Him, did she just say--him? That means she knows?

"Go, Heero, just go.." She couldn't look at his eyes again.

"I'm so sorry..."

And then he walked--almost run to the gate, followed by Relena's welled up eyes looking for him as he left the Sanc Palace.

"What happened?" Quatre almost shouted to the girl that's still standing in the middle of the balcony. His eyes looked very worried now as he sees Relena's crying.

She shook her head. "Nothing, nothing happened, I didn't lose anything..." She said tried to stop the tears, "cause I never did really have him..."

Trowa rubbed her in the back "It's okay..." He said lovingly just like a brother. She nod but still in wet eyes.

 

                                                                ######

 

The apartment in the third floor was unlocked. Heero pushed the door open and found a dark room. There's no change in the room arrangement as the last time he saw them, nothing was missing, except for Duo.

Heero went to Duo's room and found a small bag in the bed, already filled with Duo's black shirts. So he already half-packed, he sighed.

There's something beside the black bag. Pictures. There's a picture of the five pilots in a hangar with their gundams, in the park, and oh--there's also a picture of the five of them with Relena, it was the one at the school.

New pictures were in the bottom. Pictures of the two of them together in the new apartment. Duo always smiling in those pictures. Showing off his beautiful smiles, and whether Heero wanted to believe it or not, his own face was also smiling. Well--it's not really a smile for most of people, but he knew that his face looked happy in those pictures.

There's one picture of them in the park. Duo was holding a melting chocolate ice cream in his hand while his other hand was holding Heero's shirt tightly. He smiled--of course, and Heero looked at him, annoyed, but lovingly annoyed. All those scenes caught in camera.

Since when did I actually start to loved him? He asked himself.

"Duo, where the hell are you..?" He shouted. There's no sign of him everywhere. Heero smacked him self in the head, almost jump to the door and in hurried steps climbing his way to the apartment roof.

 

With the background of the beautiful full moon in the sky, there he was. A great figure of The God of Death--the love of his life--Duo Maxwell. His body covered with black outfit like he always does, the beautiful chestnut braid seemed to flow in the air, and the beautiful face looked right up to the moon with a wondering eyes.  He didn't realize about Heero's presence behind him.

 

"Duo.." He called his name.

With a swift moved he turned his face around. Violet eyes widened, surprised--and shocked.

"Heero..?!" His voice was uncertain, still couldn't believe what he saw.

"I'm coming back..."

In the normal situation Duo would ask 'Did she kick you out?' but not this time.

"But why--?" He asked back "I thought..."

 

"I was wrong, I never loved her.."

No replies from Duo, he's waiting for Heero to continue.

"Because I love you--all this time--it's always been you."

Duo bit his bottom lip, tried to convinced himself it wasn't a dream. "You've never said that before.."

"I know, I never thought that matters.."

"I love you too--there--I said it--and I always do, you just never take it seriously before..."

"Hn. I think I'm being stupid.."

"Yeah, and you always said that I'm the baka." He smiled that wide smile.

Heero couldn't help himself for not kissing him, drawing his lover to his embrace. A kiss filled with regret and possessiveness, Duo returned the kiss with a welcome kiss.

"Tadaima. I would never let you go again..."

"Okaeri, Hee-chan..."

Another deep kiss. Duo tugged Heero's shirt impatiently and grinned. "So, do you want to do it here or in the bedroom?"

"Wherever you want, Duo.." He smiled lovingly.

The answer is enough for Duo to drag Heero to the floor with him.

And the moon smiled.

 

                                                     ###  OWARI  ###

 

Conclusion              : Even The Perfect Soldier made mistakes.