WHITE FLAG
A Fruits Basket Fanfic
Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
An Akito x Hanajima romance. Yes, romance. Be afraid. Very afraid. I believe
Nightmare Kitty can be blamed for this titanic brainstorm. =P Once again told
from Akito's POV. Lemon Warning.
PART FIVE - COMPLICATED
What the hell am I doing?!
"Sir, Hatori just called."
"Has there been a change?"
"He...didn't say. He only asked for you to go to his office."
"It's about damn time!"
Yes, it is about time. I was beginning to feel like a caged animal in my own quarters! I was beginning to think that something had gone totally wrong. That it was all my fault.
Just like that day.
****************************************************
And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
****************************************************
I'd been pacing my room since sunrise. Restless. Discontent. I had neglected my meal the evening before and the smell of breakfast alone turned my stomach. I didn't even go near my window, where the birds chirped happily. What right did they have to be happy when I was not?!
It was disgusting...this fear that had claimed me. I was afraid to go outside. Afraid that I might see her when she arrived. Afraid to see her walk into Hatori's office. Afraid my resolve would fade.
It was already fading fast.
In the days AFTER I pronounced sentence on Saki and Tohru - the silly riceball got off with just a warning, lucky girl - I became mightily irritated. Since I couldn't take my anger out on the stupid girl, I punished those that I could.
Yuki was brought to the main house and locked in his favorite room the day after graduation. To my amazement he didn't complain. Said not a word. But the new fear that lay hidden behind his eyes when he was released was good enough for me. His things were moved from Shigure's and the room next to mine became his new quarters.
Kyo was locked away the moment he set foot on the grounds. I believe it was Kazuma who led him to his prison and locked him there. His things, save for a few personal items, were placed into a storage shed on the grounds. No one was allowed to visit him for the first three days. He was only to eat bread and water. Only one person dared to disobey me, and she will not ever do so again...at least not of her own free will.
But even these things did not banish my feelings for Saki. I tried to go about life as usual, but it wasn't normal anymore. Not without Saki. It was hell. Hell on Earth. The sweetest torture ever.
And it frightened me.
Things had changed. I had changed. Saki changed me. She managed to touch parts of me that no one else could reach. Found things that I had kept well hidden since childhood.
I had not believed myself capable of love because I knew I was going to die. I had been told that, over and over, since I was old enough to understand the meaning of death. It was my curse. To save the others. I think, things could have been different. That I didn't have to be the cruel heartless man I had become. But I never would've reached this conclusion if I'd never met Saki.
If I'd never fallen in love.
I had so fallen and hard. The thought of losing her was tearing me apart. I thought I was strong enough to deal with it. What should I care? She's only a girl! But I did care. More than I could've imagined.
And before I could think any more, my legs picked me up and carried me to Hatori's office. I heard rather than saw Yuki and Kyo. Heard their gasps of surprise and I barged into the small office waiting room. Heard Shigure's swearing and cursing, his please for me to stop.
But I didn't stop. I couldn't. I had to reach her in time. Please Kami let me be in time!
"Hatori! Yamatte!"
The doctor pulled back quickly, startled by my appearance. He was even more startled as I grabbed Saki's left arm and dragged her to me. She was almost like dead weight, but I managed to hold her tightly against me as I dragged her out of the room, out of the office. She uttered Hatori's name in question, but it went unanswered and she fell asleep in my arms just before we reached my room.
I let her sleep for about an hour, wondering just how much damage had been done. I didn't think Hatori had had the time to totally erase her memory. It looked as if the process had only begun when I arrived. I stayed by her, sitting on the edge of the bed until I felt it was safe to wake her.
"Saki? Snap out of it! SAKI?!"
She inhaled a deep breath indicating that she was alive. Then her eyes fluttered open. She blinked several times, her eyes clouded over. For a moment I was afraid that Hatori HAD erased her memories and I cursed under my breath. Saki's body tensed and then relaxed, a sigh escaping her lips. I sighed, too, grateful that she was unharmed.
But what damage had been done?
Tears stung at my yes and for the first time since I was little I didn't fight them. One by one they fell, sliding down my cheeks and onto the bed sheets. I bowed my head, grasping one of her hands in mine. I raised it, resting my forehead on her knuckles. A loud sob escaped me and the words that poured forth were directly from my heart.
"Gomen, Saki. Gomen nasai. I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking. Forgive me. Onegai, Saki. Forgive me."
"Akito?"
I looked up at the sound of my name. Never before had I heard such a sweet sound. Saki was looking directly at me through the grayness of my room. Did she really see me? What did I care?! She remembered me! Her memory hadn't been erased.
"Where am I?"
"You're in my quarters, Saki."
"I...seem to remember everything. But I saw a bright light. Heard someone calling my name."
"I got to Hatori's office just before the process began. Your memories should be intact."
"Why?" There was a note of sadness in her voice. And yet, something akin to hope. "Why did you stop Hatori-san?"
"Because I love you," I blurted out carelessly. It was the first thing that came to mind. And it was the truth.
"You're crying," she stated, her free hand rising to stroke my cheek. "Can you cry?"
I smiled. I REALLY smiled. Nothing forced. Nothing hidden. It was as genuine as could be. It felt...good. "I suppose I can if I am."
"Sou ka," she replied sleepily.
"Saki? Daijoubu desu ka?"
"I love you too."
****************************************************
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....
****************************************************
I grasped at those words. Wanted to hold on to them forever. Instead I clutched her hand tighter in mine, bringing her knuckles to my lips and placing little pecking kisses there. "Do you mean it?"
"I would not have said it if I didn't."
"I was certain you'd be angry with me."
"Oh...I am."
The surprise is not hidden in my expression. "Then why--?!"
"Tohru is dear to me. Just as you are. I do not expect you to understand, but I want you to try."
She was correct. I did not understand, but I nodded anyway. I would try, if only for her. She had changed me much already. Perhaps I could still change more.
"There are things about my curse that you should know," I told her.
"You're not going to change into a snake if I hug you are you?"
"Why?"
"I'm not fond of snakes."
"Then you'll be happy to know that I do not change when hugged. You should know this by now."
"Aa."
"But...." I couldn't find the right words to describe it to her. Gently I placed myself beside her on the bed. Stretching so that I lay very close to her, her hand still in my grasp. "My curse is different from the others. They will eventually go one to live full lives. I will not."
Her eyes widen. "What do you mean?"
"That eventually I will die."
"We all die sometime."
"But I will die sometime soon. I can promise you my life if you so asked, but I'm afraid it will not be long."
"How long?"
"Months to years. It's hard to tell. I get sick so easily."
"Then I will have to keep you in bed so you cannot catch anything."
My eyes widened at the hint in her words, in her voice. "Saki?"
"All things can be worked through. We will deal with your curse. Together. I...want to be with you in this. You don't have to be alone anymore, Akito."
"Neither do you."
"Oh, but I was never alone."
"I want to know what it's like."
"What 'what' is like?"
"To never be alone." I lean closer, nuzzling my nose into her hair that is so displayed upon my pillows. "Will you show me?"
With a smile as beautiful as the sunset she answered, "Hai."
Saki rolled onto her side. It took a some effort and I reached out to help her. My free hand rested on her hip as her free hand reached for my face. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of her skin against mine. The caress was gentle, followed by a light touch of her denpa. I didn't flinch, but allowed her hand to trace the features of my face.
It wasn't until I felt her lips on my forehead that I released the breath I had been holding. I felt my body shiver as she scooted closer to me, one of her legs carefully tangling with mine. Her fingers fell from my face to trace the outline of my neck to my shoulder. I felt her sigh before she said, "I'm really not sure how to show you."
I grabbed her other hand in mine and placed both of them against my chest. "Just...touch me," I told her. Just be near me. Touch me with your hands, your lips and your body. That's what I wanted to say anyway, but I was too afraid to say any more than I did.
She was so close I could feel her breath on my cheek. "Aren't you afraid I might try to attack you with my denpa? I can run pretty fast when I have to."
Laughter bubbled up from my chest. "If that had been your plan, you would've done so long before I brought you back here." I snickered. "Besides, you hate running."
I could feel her smile on my cheek. "Will you say it again?"
"What for? I already have you in my bed."
"And I enjoy being in your bed," she said, placing a light kiss against my cheek. Then her breath moved lower. "Just for clarification. And you should make it convincing."
I thought anger would explode from me. It should have. Instead, there was a bubble of warmth lifting from my stomach. It burst, spreading throughout my body. I felt my heart warming. My entire being felt alive. Parts of me responded to her of their own free will. It was like we were alone. The only ones who mattered. There was no frantic screaming outside in the hallway. There was no wrongdoing, no curse.
I looked her directly in the eye and spoke the words we both needed clarified. "I love you, Saki. Kami help us both...I love you."
Her hand rested on my cheek and I felt her lips move over mine. A brief caress. But it was enough to send shivers of pleasure through my system. My lips responded before I could tell them, pecking at her hungrily.
My hands began to move of their own accord, clutching at her waist, then smoothing the material of her skirt as they moved as low down her legs as possible. As they moved upward, I brought the skirt with me. I stopped at her hip, not quite revealing what was underneath and so very close.
Her hands mirrored mine, only laboring on the tie of my yukata for a second before the material whispered apart. One hand carefully peeled away one side of the cloth, her fingers lightly brushing my burning skin.
Electricity hung in the air around us. Her denpa I surmised. But it wasn't painful. I was slightly disappointed by that, but I was also giddy. Giddy? Yeah, I think that's wrong too. But that's how I felt. I loved the feel of her fingertips on my skin, stroking, caressing. The electricity only added to eh excitement, causing my already hard erection to strain harder. Instant lift. No lie.
She straddled me, sitting upward just enough so I could grab the edge of her blouse and pull it over her head. Our eyes only lost sight of each other as the material passed over her face. But even then my gaze was locked onto the scrap of black lace that passed for a bra.
She was nicely endowed. Not overly so. And she filled the palm of my hands. Perfect. The bra was unhooked and discarded. Then she unzipped her skirt. It was a long one and we had to maneuver so that we could pull it over her head. It was tossed with the blouse and bra somewhere in the room.
Her skin was luminescent in the grayness of my quarters. It was smooth, flawless. Her firm breasts came to maroon points and I couldn't help but touch her. She touched me in return, our actions trying to mirror each other until she became a bit more aggressive.
Her hands were everywhere at once. I felt her denpa before I felt her fingertips. Her lips trailed closely, leaving me a heap of ashes in her fiery wake. I moaned, gasped and whimpered her name as she touched those places that drove me wild. One in particular truly made me growl. Her hand had found it's way down my abdomen and into my boxer shorts. Clever witch. She held me gently, yet firmly. One stroke sent the air from my lungs. My pulse raced. I was certain I would die at that very moment.
"Oh gods...that feels good."
"Hmm. I shall make a note of it."
My eyes snapped open. "You're taking notes?" My voice sounded incredulous.
"I told you I am not all that familiar with such acts," she replied calmly. "And despite my attitude last week...I want to remember everything about you."
"Don't worry. I'll make sure you do."
I pulled her up to kiss her thoroughly. While she was distracted I rolled us over, with myself on top. I heard a muffled moan through the kiss and didn't know if she was angry or excited by the move. No struggle. Good. I quickly yanked at the sleeves of my yukata, practically ripping it from my body. Then I calmly set to work, exploring, discovering.
"Akito?"
"What?" It came out harsher than intended, but my body was nearly screaming for her now. I didn't want to pause, stop or anything of the sort!
"Are you sure about this?"
I pulled away from her, placing a light kiss to her cheek before looking her in the eyes. "Shouldn't that be my line," I retorted. "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into." I leaned forward, placing my forehead against hers. "There's so much to tell you...."
"We can discuss specifics later," she said, raising her leg oh-so-slightly until her upper thigh connected with my straining erection. "Unless you want to stop now?"
I growled at the teasing in her voice. Instead of answering vocally, I did so physically. I crushed my lips, my body, against hers. No way in hell was I stopping now. Our talk could wait. It had waited this long, right?
Deepening the kiss, I felt my mind enveloped by a dense fog. My arms wrapped around her waist and crushed us together somewhat painfully. Control quickly slipped through my fingers. Logical thought was leaving me. All that remained was feeling.
These feelings were indescribable at first. So powerful, overwhelming in intensity! It was as if my heart -- no my entire body! -- was on fire. Liquid warmth flowed through me. I felt light, floating. My mind became transfixed, numb. I felt relaxed, carefree. My usual darkness, that black cloud that had built up in my soul over the years, was slipping away. I normally would've clung to it, my security blanket of sorts. But I released it gladly.
In its place I welcomed the light that Saki offered to me.
Her hands grasped at my shoulders. My kisses, meanwhile, trailed from her lips to her breasts. Very slowly so as to antagonize her. I want to give her pleasure and I want to receive it in return. I have a bit of a playful side, see...sometimes bordering on torture. But no torture tonight, at least nothing either one of us can't handle.
My hands become aggressive, moving faster and without much thought. I have to touch every inch of her. Everything in my view and everything not. Her breasts. Her stomach. Her hips. The inside of her thigh. Only after she moaned my name did I seek out the core of her.
If I was unskilled in any way, Saki wasn't complaining. As I kissed her, touched her, stroked her, she silently told me what she liked. Moaning incoherently. Arching her back. The shiver of her spine. The restlessness of her legs. And I felt what she felt...not literally, but I knew she was enjoying everything I was doing to her, just as I enjoyed everything she did to me.
She was molten lava under my fingers. Putty in my hands. I moved instinctively. Her hands caressed my back, my shoulder, my neck. Fingers wound deep into my thick hair as I placed a lingering, wet kiss just below her belly button. Her entire body shivered and I reveled in the sensation.
Her hands tried to force me downward. She was truly enjoying this. I slipped a finger inside of her wetness. Her body went rigid then relaxed on a sigh. I moved it a little, managing a second finger after a while. She moaned then and it made my blood boil. My body was crying...or were those really tears? I needed release.
I needed her.
She groaned as I pulled myself away, but I was only gone long enough to position myself. I sat up on my knees, my hands grasping tightly at her hips. I lifted her. She helped by angling herself, her hands pressed against the mattress to hold her weight. Our eyes met and held each other's gaze. I could see the fire in her eyes. The passion. The love.
And when neither of us could take it any longer, we merged, swiftly, into one being.
I was prepared for the enclosure of her virginal muscles. I was prepared for the rush of pure pleasure the swept through my senses - even if it did nearly knock me on my ass! I was even prepared for her groan of pain, the loss of her virginity.
My ego swelled, as did my manhood. Another rush ran through my body, making me shiver. Saki moaned in response, her muscles reacting to my sudden movement. I had to bite back a curse, but as her muscles continued to move I cursed out loud. I was trying to remain still, but she was making it difficult. My body didn't want to remain still. The harder I tried, the more I moved. Finally Saki relaxed and I took my queue to continue.
After the first few thrusts there was a burning need inside me. An urge to take. To claim. And I did so gladly. Over an over again. Slowly at first. I thought for certain I would grow weary only after a short time. But my energy level steadily increased, as did our rhythm. Moving faster and faster until we were slamming into each other.
We melted together, our bodies seeking to do the impossible. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to. Three was a wave of white on the horizon. It loomed ever closer. But unlike the strangling darkness within me, I felt light, warmed. It enveloped me like a blanket. Then it shattered, like glass, pouring more heat into my body.
Her body exploded just after mine. I could feel her muscles clamping down on me like a vise. I gasped, pouring myself into her. Giving to someone. Something I had never actually done in my lifetime. I wasn't just taking any more.
And I kind of liked it.
My arms began to tremble and I collapsed beside Saki. Breathing heavily, my arm still tossed over her middle and our legs still entwined, I closed my eyes, felt the warming light rushing through my blood and smiled. A stupid, silly grin to be certain but I hardly cared.
I felt whole. Not fragmented.
I wasn't alone. Sheltered from life.
I was in love. And someone loved me in return.
How the hell does life get so complicated?
And I only further complicated things by opening my mouth to speak.
"Saki?"
"Hmm?"
"Marry me."
There was a brief pause. Had she fallen asleep? Was she merely thinking? What the hell was there to think about?! Especially after what we had just done! I don't do this with just anyone you know.
I heard her sigh, felt her hand reach for my hip. Her voice, soft as a whisper, echoed in my ears. My smile got dopier as well.
"Hai."
~TO BE CONTINUED~