MEMORIES TO MIRACLES
A Fruits Basket Gift Ficlet
Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Happy belated birthday Yui-chan! My second yaoi fanfic for this fandom...and
just as you requested. I hope you will enjoy!
I have nothing but bad memories.
"Why are you shaking?"
I can only feel fear.
"Don't you love me, Yuki?"
I can only feel heartache.
"Do you like your gift?"
I can only feel pain.
"Look at me! You should be grateful, you stupid rat!"
I can only feel sad.
"Happy Birthday, Yuki."
Every time I think of my birthday I think of Akito. Of those days locked in the dark room. His voice. His hands. His touch. His lips. His kiss.
And every birthday I hide myself away like a frightened rat.
I've tried to open up. Honda-san was kind enough to bake me a cake this year. Again. Two years in a row. I am not worthy of such kindness. Momiji, Haru, Kagura, Kisa and Hiro came over to help celebrate. They even brought little gifts. I was very surprised. Honda-san had planned this for over a month.
"Ne, Haru, didn't you bring a gift?" Honda-san asked as the others were handing me their presents.
Haru nodded solemnly. "I'll give it to Yuki later. It's...private."
"Oh, all right."
The party brought little warmth and joy into the day, but there was still a cloud hanging over me. I wanted it to go away, the dark cloud. But it clung to me like my curse. Raining on the parade Honda-san had so cleverly planned.
And when it was over, the storm got heavier, the cloud darker. All I needed was lightening and thunder to complete my eerie mood. Kisa and Hiro stayed to help Honda-san clean up. Momiji had to leave to meet with Hatori. That left Haru and I on the couch in the living room.
Now, I'm not uncomfortable with Haru, but I had just hit a point where the cloud had started to descend on me and the room, although clear but for the two of us, was smothering me. I stood quickly, mumbling an excuse. Without looking at Haru I moved towards the stairs. My feet flew, taking the steps two at a time and before I knew it I was in my bedroom, the door closed. For a moment, I was free of the cloud. A weight lifted from my shoulders as I slumped onto my bed, lying on my side. I sighed, glad to finally have some measure of relief.
Then someone knocked on the door.
It was Haru. I knew because he had opened the door and let himself inside. I was angry for a split second, my privacy interrupted. But by the same token, I was glad to have someone there. I sat up on my bed as he approached me.
"Haru, is everything okay downstairs?"
"Aa," he replied, sitting beside me on the bed.
"Then...why are you here?"
"Because I didn't have a chance to give you your present yet," he answered calmly.
"Oh." I really didn't know what else to say, especially since it didn't look like he'd brought any bags or packages with him. "Well...arigato."
Haru looked at me oddly. "You're thanking me...and I haven't given you your present yet."
I shrugged. "I'm sure I'll like it."
"You might not."
"What...do you mean?" I eyed him wearily. "Please tell me you didn't convince Honda-san do to do something for me."
"Nope. Nothing like that." He paused. "Well, actually, _I_ wanted to do something for you."
"Sou ka?" I had no idea what Haru could possibly do for me...aside from simply being there.
"Aa."
After a short silence I said, "Like what?"
He answered me with a kiss.
This felt strange for several reasons. The first of which being that Haru is male. Secondly, he's my younger cousin. I've never kissed another man before...not a REAL kiss anyway. Akito quickly came to mind, but I discounted him immediately.
Thirdly, I rather enjoyed.
I sat on the edge of the bed, tense at first. This was all so new. Haru's kiss was gentle. Not forceful. Not demanding. Only asking. Tentative. He allowed me to respond in my own time, and I did, even though my mind was screaming a thousand different curses at me. What was I thinking? Was I really this way? What would Akito say?
Akito....
I pulled away quickly as memories of my last birthday sprang to mind. The ferocious beating. The harsh words. My hands came up in front of me as if I was trying to protect myself from them. From him.
"Gomen, Yuki," Haru said, grabbing my hands and holding them carefully, loosely, so I could take them back whenever I wanted. "Gomen."
I shook my head, but wasn't quite sure what to say. I had liked the kiss. Very much. It was just.... "Not your fault."
"I shouldn't have--" he began but I cut him off again.
"Iie. It's not your fault. The kiss...it surprised me...but...I liked it. I did." I sighed, my shoulders slumping. How was I supposed to explain myself when I was too afraid? "It's just...Akito." I shivered involuntarily. Haru moved closer to me, but didn't move to hug me or comfort me in any other way. I closed my eyes, fighting the tears forming there. "I have so many bad memories of my birthday. I want just one good memory to take the rest away."
"I want to be the one to give you that memory," Haru declared quietly.
His words, said in such an honest, earnest voice, made my heart flutter. He let go of my hands, his fingers caressing a path up my arms to my shoulders. He had to maneuver himself to the floor to be right in front of me. His eyes held mine the entire time he moved. He movements were slow, purposeful. He wanted me to know what he was doing. I watched as he kneeled in front to me, sitting up on his knees. We were far from seeing eye to eye in this position, but our gazes held. His fingers gently curled around my shoulders, holding me steady. Was I going to fall?
His voice was quiet when he asked, "Can I kiss you again?"
I felt another shiver run through me, but this one wasn't cold. It was warm. The answer tore from me, almost a plea, before my brain could comprehend the question.
"Hai."
His lips were just as gentle the second time. I responded almost immediately. There was a little more force behind the kiss, but it wasn't overwhelming in power. My lips parted on a sigh and I felt the tip of his tongue sneak between them. It withdrew immediately. I opened my mouth again, my own tongue darting out to try and coax Haru's to return. It did so at my beckoning.
My hands reached out to touch him. As our lips moved, parted, our tongues learning to dance, my fingers moved over his chest and shoulders. I had no idea Haru was so well muscled. He never really worked out, and his clothes hid it well.
I never realized it, but Haru's fingers were working on the buttons of my shirt. Intricate little things, those buttons, given the style of shirt I was wearing. But he nimbly undoes each one, placing light caresses to bare skin each time more comes into view. The shirt is discarded gods know where in my room. I didn't really care at the time.
Using his size, Haru stood to tower over me. I instinctively moved backward to allow him room. The kiss broke as I moved further backward, lying on the bed. Haru's right knee helped to prop him on the bed above me. He looked almost feral...I don't know how better to explain it without insulting him. Even comparing him to Kyo seems mean, but that's just my opinion. My heart skipped a beat as he moved closer.
Again our eyes are locked, his hands on my shoulders, my hands on his chest. With his urging I help remove his shirt. Now I know this may sound strange, but this was actually very intimate...very appealing. Like it was meant to happen. My heart skipped another beat.
Our lips met again, but the kiss was brief, brisk. Instead Haru pulled away to trail wet, suckling kisses along my jaw to my ear. I can't describe how each kiss felt...besides cool and wet. My insides however were very warm, my blood boiling.
His kisses moved down my neck, tickling, teasing. There was one spot just past my neck on my right shoulder. When he kissed me there, I moaned aloud. Prickly little tingles shot through my body, causing me to groan. I could feel my penis reacting to the attention Haru was giving my body.
My mind went into shock for a moment and my closed eyes snapped open to the sight of Haru's white hair as he kissed his way down to my chest. For a moment I had thought of Akito again. Of those times when he would kiss my body the way Haru was doing. But this felt so much better. Although my eyes had to confirm it wasn't Akito and my brain had to concur, my body loved the attention Haru was giving it.
My now raging erection was proof.
His tongue snaked out to lick at my hardened nipples. First the right, then the left. Our eyes met briefly before he continued downward. My hands tangled into his hair. It was surprisingly soft, his hair. And the further down he went, the more my stomach fluttered. Not only when he kissed my navel, but when he kissed lower still, just below it...and lower yet, until he reached the edge of my pants.
He sat up slightly, his fingers skimming lightly over my chest and down to my stomach. "May I?" He was referring to the pants.
For a brief instant panic shot through me. Logic tried to tell me that this should stop. That there was no need to go on. No...it was Akito's voice I heard. The voice that sent cold shivers up and down my spine. My panic, my uncertainty, must've shown in my eyes. Haru began to pull further away until I halted him.
"Iie, Haru...I...continue, onegai."
He smiled, nodding his understanding. Carefully, almost reverently, his fingers undid the button and zipper of my pants. I groaned, glad to be free of the restrictive material. My erection throbbed, happy as well. With his thumbs hooked into the waistband, Haru removed my pants...and my underwear!
He placed another kiss to my stomach, his chin rubbing the head of my penis. I lifted my hips both wanting him to do it again and to aid in getting my pants completely off. There was a flash of something in his eyes and I had to hold back a whimper. Then he lowered his head, breaking our connection. I closed my eyes, my body clenching in anticipation.
My erection reacted almost violently to the press of Haru's lips against its head. My stomaching was melting. I swore it had turned to acid. And I could barely contain my orgasm. Already? Well I suppose we had been playing around enough. And Haru was much more skilled than I.
Inch by inch he took me into his mouth. Eventually he had engulfed my entire organ in his mouth. I could feel the press of its head against the back of his throat. Then slowly he pulled away, releasing me in the same slow way he had taken me.
Then he repeated the motion.
Again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
That fifth time was simply too much. Before he pulled away completely, I came, spurting my juices into his mouth. Quickly he pushed himself further down by a few inches so as not to make a mess. He swallowed every drop of my cum, pulling away slowly again as I slowed, then stopped. The head of my now flaccid erection audibly popped out of his mouth as he did so.
"Gods Haru," I started to say, but could think of nothing else.
"Do you want me to stop?"
I shake my head almost violently. Opening eyes that I didn't realize were closed, I asked him, "May I touch you?"
Cutting off a curse, he moves back to unbutton his own pants. Fumbling, yet with great speed, he has them off and on the floor in no time. No underwear. Why am I not surprised?
Grabbing one of my hands, he guides me to his engorged member. My eyes widen, much the way I would imagine most girls' would if they had just discovered they were in for surprise. A pleasant surprise. He was HUGE! I suppose that was a given, knowing his curse.
For a moment the fear returns, but Haru's little kisses and encouraging words take over. I moved my hand at his bidding, adding my other hand to assist. Slowly at first, then faster. Gaining speed with each sharp intake of breath he gave above me.
I had never considered pleasuring another man, or being pleasured by one, but I had never wanted anything more in my life. Akito's touches, his kisses, his words...they were nothing like this. They were something to be feared, just like the man giving them. This...was pure bliss. And I wanted more of it.
But then Haru pulled away.
"Was I hurting you?" I asked, noting the strained look on his face.
He shook his head. "Iie. Just...wanting to prolong this a little longer," he said, his hand grasping my half-hard penis and stroking lightly.
"I don't want you to hold back," I answered.
He smiled down at me, placing a light kiss to my lips. "Yuki...I want...I want to be inside you when I come. May I?"
I was only somewhat shocked when Haru actually asked permission. I was even more shocked by my reaction. After all we had already shared, I was shocked when I replied, "Hai." I wanted him inside of me as badly as he.
Perhaps he'd allow me to return the favor someday.
Akito's voice rear's up again. 'Don't you love me?' Haru had not once mentioned love. Then again, he didn't need to. I love him. Like a revelation this truth was revealed to me. I love Haru, otherwise I wouldn't be willing to let him do this. I wouldn't want him so badly.
I willingly move into position, surprising Haru. But instead of asking any questions he takes the hint, moving up behind me while I kneel on my knees and elbows. There's the feel of something cool against my butt. Oil? Some kind of lubricant? It doesn't feel wet, but it's soothing. Leave it to Haru to plan for everything. But I wonder where he had it hidden....
He source of the lubricant hardly mattered once I felt the tip of his large erection pressing between my butt cheeks. My mind spun off into all those horrible dreams and I tensed as he began to push inward. Biting my lower lip, I tried to stay focused. Tried to push those nightmares away. I had to force my eyes to stay open, had to keep reminding myself that this was Haru, that he wouldn't hurt me.
And honestly he wasn't.
Slowly, inch by inch, he pushed inside. He stopped I whimpered. He paused when I shivered. He laid kisses along my back, whispering reassurances. Not threats. Not demeaning words. Goods things. Words of appreciation.
I cried out when I felt full. I don't know how much of him was enclosed, but he didn't seem to complain. After a pause I felt him begin to move. Like every other first, he was careful and attentive.
Was I all right? Should he move faster? He asked for rather than took. It warmed my heart and little by little, Akito's voice was drowned in echoes of my voice and Haru's. Moans and groans. His right hand worked on my erection, his left hand massaging my hip, trying to assure my comfort.
Our names echoed louder after only a short time.
"Haru!"
"Yuki."
Then...quiet.
When it was over, we collapsed onto the bed. I could feel rather than hear Haru's ragged breathing on top of me. Beneath me I could feel the coolness of my sheets and the wetness of my own release. I was disgusted for a brief moment, telling myself I needed to move, but my own body refused. Exhaustion set in and my head fogged over. My eyelids felt heavy, but I managed to keep them open for a short time.
"Haru?"
"Hmm?"
"Arigato."
My eyes closed then and I allowed myself to succumb to sleep. For the first time in years I could picture my birthday without the horrible nightmares. They would always be there...but I finally found the single ray of light that would chase them away.
My miracle.
Thank you, Haru.
"Happy Birthday, Yuki."
~OWARI~