*Based on the song "L'Un Vers L'Autre" from the
Original French Concept of Les Misérables*
As I watch them from the bars of the gate, tears begin
to fill my eyes. They cloud my vision, then escape;
falling down my cheeks. I make no sound, let out no
anguished cry. But, yet, I curse these silent tears. I
can go for days with no food; the hunger constantly
gnawing at my thin belly. I withstand the pelting rain
of insults that come at me from all directions:
“whore”, “bitch”, “good-for-nothing”, “street rat”,
“worthless”, etc.... I’m hit, beaten, humiliated,
raped... basically used to blow off any and all anger,
frustration, and hate; a mere toy of the cruel and
unforgiving men in this cruel and unforgiving world. I
face the freezing cold, the blistering heat, the
drenching rain, and the blinding snow. But, no matter
how horrid, I never cry. I turn the other cheek,
saying, “Ok, God! Bring on your worst!” He did. First,
he brought me hope and joy in the perfect, divine form
of Marius Pontmercy. He taught me how to love. But
then, he took it all away. He sent Cosette to Marius,
and they fell in love without ever speaking a word to
each other. Two angels put here to find Heaven on
Earth and me, one of the devil’s demons to watch them
from a far. It is in the sight of this divine
happiness that God reduces me to tears. I feel
hopelessness, jealousy, desire, and hate set in and
this fairy tale romance sends daggers plunging into my
heart. I turn my back to them, hiding my emotion. I
will not let him see me cry,
especially when I’m suppose to be happy for him. But I
am happy for him. He’s no longer gloomy and sad, no
longer searching for the reason he was put on this
Earth. I just always hoped he would find what he was
looking for in me. Oh, but the joy I brought to him by
smashing my own dream! My heart plummeted to the floor
and, at the same time, flew as high as an eagle when
he smiled at me. Oh...
he smiled at me! His eyes lit up like two stars. I had never
seen him so joyful. All I ever wanted for him was to
find happiness. I just need to come to terms with the
fact that he may not find it through me. My love for
him, although as deep as the ocean, may always go
unnoticed, but he does recognize that it was his
little ‘Ponine who brought him to his hearts desire,
and will be forever grateful. I must love him from a
distance but, at least I may love him. No one can take
that away from me. He loves me not, but he does love
one and she loves him back. His joy brings me a
bittersweet happiness: he is not mine, but he is
content. I glance back at my two angels and, through
my cascading tears, I smile.