I Need you
{Chapter 4}
*~*
Each day this love grows stronger, But I could never let you know. There's so
much behind my smile That I could never show. The pain is like a knife
Cutting deep into my soul.*~*
[Nera’s
P.O.V]
What
do I do? I mean, I'm sitting here, and everything's hitting me all at once. The
tears fall slowly down my cheek, and my whimpers can barely be heard. I'm
pushing him away, and I know it's what I need, but the pain he must be feeling
is hurting me far more than words could even describe. What
did I do? How could I be so stupid! Stuuuupid! I went over to talk to him and
then I ran out of this room. He must think I really hate him. Oh someone help me.
[AJ’s
P.O.V]
What’s
that sound in Nick’s room? Is he doing what I think he does? No can’t be…can
it? No Nick doesn’t cry…or does he? I’ll just check on him.
[3rd
Person]
AJ
went over to Nick’s room and knocked. He heard Nick’s weak voice say: “Who
this?” on that he responded “someone who wants in.” he heard a sound and
Nick opened the door. He had all red eyes.
AJ thought: << what’s up with all the people. Is “be sad and
cry”-day and I don’t know it? Why else is everyone sad and why else does
everyone cry?>>
AJ asked: “Nick, what’s wrong?”
“Nera.” Nick answered.
<<Oh god! I hope he doesn’t cry because Nera told him that she loves him!>>
AJ thought.
“What did Nera do?” AJ asked.
“It’s not about what Nera did. It’s about what I did.” Nick answered.
<<Oh god. Didn’t you hear me call ya before? I need help! It keeps on
getting worse! Stop it!>> AJ thought but said instead of this: “What did
you do?”
“I’d like to know that myself. She didn’t tell me. AJ? I think I’m
loosing her. And I feel like I can’t stop it.” Nick started crying, again.
AJ hugged him and said: “It’s ok. I’ll talk to her. I don’t think
you’re loosing her. Don’t even think of that! Do you hear me?”
“Yeah.” Whispered Nick.
When AJ stood up he saw a letter with ‘Nera’ written on the front lying on
the floor. He picked it quickly up before Nick could see him doing this and
walked to Nera’s room. He knocked. When Nera didn’t open the door he
panicked. What if she hurt herself? He knocked again, louder this time. About a
minute later a crying Nera opened the door.
<<Why ain’t I crying yet? Why did you made me so different from other
people, god?>> AJ thought. Nera led him in, closed the door and sat on the
bed next to him. AJ didn’t even have to ask. Nera just started talking.
“It’s kinda funny. Just when you thought you've lost everything, you find
out you can lose a little more.” She said.
“What do you mean by that?” AJ asked.
“I told Nick that he was making me cry. But I didn’t exactly tell him why. I
said that not what he said was making me cry but what he didn’t say. How is he
supposed to know what I mean?” she asked.
“I don’t know.” AJ said then he gave her the letter he found, grinned a
little bit and said: “I stole that from Nicky. He doesn’t know I give it to
you. But I saw it lying on the floor in his room with your name on it. So I
think you should read it. I’ll go. Call me if you need me.” With that AJ
left. Nera sat there for hours, deciding what to do. She was afraid that Nick
said something like ‘I don’t want to see you anymore’ in this letter.
Finally she decided to open it.
To
Nera
I
don’t know if you’ll ever read this but yet I’ll just try to tell you how
I feel and hope that if you read this sometime you’ll understand how I feel. I
don’t know what you wanted me to say. But I wish I did. If I did you
wouldn’t run from me. I wouldn’t feel like you’re slowly just becoming a
memory. I wouldn’t feel the way I feel and you wouldn’t feel the way you
feel. You know, they say memories last forever. I sit here, thinking about you,
and all the times where I had you by my side. I remember the smiles that crept
on my face and the happy tears that rolled down my cheeks. I see your warm,
gentle eyes looking at me, and I can feel your presence when I close my eyes,
but when I reach for you, I feel you slipping away...It's like my memory is
fading… I'm sorry if I made you cry, I'm sorry if tears fell from your eyes...
for that was not at all what I intended to do... But just remember, for every
tear that falls from your eye, two tears fall from mine.
Right now I feel the greatest pain I’ve ever felt. I feel I’m loosing you. Please tell me I’m wrong…
Nick