Here at FKBAY, we promise to bring you quality items, for a quality price. You'll find things here that you won't find anywhere else- including on our counterpart with an "e" instead of "fk". Such a rip off.
Note: This section of FancyKangaroo is written/updated by an associate who takes residence in a mental institution.
it literally brought Tears to my Eyes!!! How could Nurse Butler have kept this Musical Genius hidden in her purse for so many years!!?? For the sake of Humanity, I quickly liberated Beethoven from Nurse Butler's Purse,
and immediately booked him to play a Major Concert in our Institutions Rec Room!!!
My fellow Mental Patients have NEVER been happier! We all sat transfixed as Mr. Beethoven performed his Beautiful Melody over and over!! Then, sensing our wonderment, the Great Beethoven suddenly STOPPED his Concert, and actually began to SPEAK to us!!!
What a delightful Man he turned out to be!!! He told us the story of how his real name was GREG, and that we should all buy Time Share Condominiums in Barbados!!!! All we had to do was give him a credit card number!!!
Naturally, one does not turn down invitations such as these! ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY COME FROM THE GREAT BEETHOVEN HIMSELF!!! Fortunately, I was able to give him Nurse Butler's credit card number!!
At the end of the day, NOT ONLY had Beethoven treated all of us to a wonderful concert, but allowed us to purchase, at a VERY reasonable rate, an entire Beach side resort!!!
Asking Price: A Musician that plays more then one song.
Current Bid: A wall-mounted fish that sings "Take me to the river!"
High Bidder: Rick Dobbs
Date of Bid: December 5, 2000 at 13:55:37
It is SO MEAN, it won't even give you the Time of Day!!!
That's pretty mean! The truth is, Grenwich Mean Time has NEVER been nice!!!
It has ALWAYS been VERY MEAN!!! It was born that way!!
It won't even allow you to pronounce the "W" in it's name!!!
They should call it "GRENWICH NASTY TIME" as far as I'm concerned!!!
Grenwich Mean Time has many "issues" to work out!! I understand that some people actually LIKE their Time to be Mean. If you are one of those people, I highly suggest you acquire Grenwich Mean Time from me!!!
I assure you, a MEANER Time CAN NOT be found!!!
Asking Price: Happy Fun Escape Time!
Current Bid: Tea Time!
High Bidder: Niamher
Date of Bid: December 8, 2000 at 11:44:18
He has been doing it there quite successfully for a number of years now, but is hoping to retire soon.
He has asked me to help him sell his Monkey Business.
At first I hesitated, but when I looked at his "numbers", I couldn't believe what a deal it was!!!
His number 2 alone was staggering!!!
If you're looking for a Monkey Business that's already up and running, then look no further!
This Monkey Business is the Monkey Business FOR YOU!!
By the way, what you do in those bushes is no business of mine!!!
It's Monkey Business!!!
Asking Price: Show Business.
Current Bid: Horse Play (its just bad Acting).
High Bidder: Shifte
Date of Bid: November 23, 2000 at 20:38:48
The High Bidder on this wonderful item will gain Complete Access to the Diseased Areas of my Banana!!!
They will NOT be restricted from touching, looking at, or sniffing these Diseased Areas in ANY MANNER!!! The Highest Bidder will also be Completely Free to visit, photograph, or simply stare at the Diseased Area of my Banana ANYTIME they'd like!!!
NO TIME LIMIT!!! NO GETTING TURNED BACK AT THE DOOR!!!
To make the process VERY EASY, I have drawn circles around the Diseased Areas of my Banana!!!
Simply follow the arrows to the circled areas. Therein you shall find the Diseased Portions!!!
These are the areas you will have Complete and Unrestricted Access to!
Important Note:
The High Bidder will have NO ACCESS to the Non Diseased portions of my Banana!
As always, those areas are STRICTLY OFF LIMITS!!!
Asking Price: 2886 B.C. (The rarest year ever.) and Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Richard Strauss
Current Bid: The phone number 867-5309 and April 4th, 1867 (The twenty-third rarest day ever.)
High Bidder: Agatha the Normal Non-Christmas Mutant Butterfly -
1st Representative of Carnigie the Super Powerful Eyebrow Baldspot
Date of Bid: August 12, 2004 at 8:09:34
the "Continental Shelf" of our Cafeteria!!! It is a beautiful Island that looks and feels just like a regular Polynesian Island BUT with only 1/10th the Taste!!! It also has the added benefit of being Bland and Wiggly!!! After thoroughly exploring the "Island of Tofu" with my "Pointy Pencil",
I heroically mounted my FLAG, and claimed it as part of my "Territories"!!
"Long Live the Polynesian Island of Tofu!!!"
"May it sell quickly to the Highest Bidder!!!"
Asking Price: The Polynesian Island of "Hip Hip Hurray"!!!
Current Bid: (New on Market)
High Bidder:
This little girl can turn 100% invisible any time she wants! One minute she's right in front of you--the next, she's completely vanished!!! Truly one of the most spectacular phenomena's I've ever witnessed!!
Where is she now!? I don't even know!!! Perfect for those looking to add an invisible girl to their household!
Asking Price: A secret passage way to the "Red Lobster" off Highway 421. (plus 1 lobster dinner).
Current Bid: My first born Invisible son.
High Bidder: Invisible Mom
Date of Bid: November 2, 2000 at 12:41:13
As far as minutes go, it's one of the best! Perfect for lunch but also great with dinner,
12:17p.m. is the minute that keeps on "giving"! If you're the type of person "without a minute to spare",
then 12:17p.m. is the minute for you! 12:17 p.m.
"It may only happen once a day, but when it does, OH BOY!"
Asking Price: A moment of freedom (preferably two decades in length).
Current Bid: "The Nick of Time".
High Bidder: Andrew Warren
Date of Bid: November 27, 2000 at 22:12:32
That's because all writing about the "Forbidden City of Po" is Strictly Forbidden!!
In fact, it is Forbidden to even MENTION the "Forbidden City of Po"!
The only reason I'm getting away with it, is because I own it! (Even then, I'm sure I'm going to have ALOT of penalties to pay! )
There are A FEW other things that are Forbidden in this Great Forbidden City!
For Example:
It is Forbidden to Live There!
It is Forbidden to Visit!
It is Forbidden to even Think About Visiting!
Air is Forbidden!
Plant Life is Forbidden!!
All Mammals are Rigorously Forbidden!!
Noise is Forbidden!
Liquid is Forbidden!
Touching ANYTHING is strictly Forbidden!
Other then that, I suppose you can do Anything you want in this Great "Forbidden City" called Po!!!
(Special Note to Bidders: mentioning this city by name is STRICTLY FORBIDDEN!)
Asking Price: Zurich.
Current Bid: Brian the Shit at the bottom of the barrel of ICOL;
The title The Honorable Chancellor and First Commander
High Bidder: Her Majesty Czar Amanda Isabel Fidalgo
Date of Bid: September 9, 2004 at 15:59:30
(Note: Over use of the runs may cause a very tender butt, as a result of exessive wiping.)
Asking Price: The Kangaroos of Escapeville.
Current Bid: The Hound of the Baskervilles
High Bidder: Snotty Literary Type
Date of Bid: November 16, 2000 at 23:41:37
but it's "The Thought That Counts"!!! Though "The Thought That Counts" may not know how to READ or WRITE,
it sure knows how to COUNT!!!
Especially ALL the numbers between 0 and 7!!!!!!!
Sadly, the "Thought That Counts" can NOT count past the number 7.
But Hey!
It's The Thought That Counts!!!
Asking Price: The Thought that Escapes me!
Current Bid: a penny for your thoughts. (it may help you buy back the one that escapes you!)
High Bidder: treble
Date of Bid: November 7, 2000 at 14:16:16
Asking Price: A Man with Satellite.
Current Bid: The watchman from the Titanic (who should have had binoculars).
High Bidder: Cassandra
Date of Bid: November 23, 2000 at 12:23:54