"NewsiesGoneSoap"
http://www.geocities.com/Paris/Sorbonne/9203/
Phantom's Review: I just know that some of you are going to get awfully mad at me for putting this as an accused page, as I bet some of you are involved with this page, but there ARE flaws with it.
My thoughts are in normal type, things
quoted off of the pages are in italics.
In this page you will find
a never ending escape from those newsie Fan Fictions that
can bore you. This place is never ending with tragity, loss,
affairs, and more. Once you think something has been solved a new
problem arises. So come read the soap, but i can't promise you
will be able to stop!
Well, that doesn't sound too bad! So
far.
And on the next page... cool banner, and a fuzzy newsie pic and a GIANT FUZZY construction sign. People, really. At least leave your pictures the right size so they aren't out of focus. That can't be too hard.
sense 2-23-00
Why can't people learn how to spell?
Let's look at the Characters first. The good part- they have some really nice drawings of their characters. The OVERWHELMING bad part? All of the frigging characters smoke, drink, and lay everyone around. Yes, I know this is a Soap Opera, but not everyone enjoys sitting down to read only about slutty girls screwing the newsboys and then getting drunk. Whoo, ain't that fun.
Do I dare try to read the soap? ::Cringe::
Tear Reeder wiped her full lips and stood. She had just
finished throwing up her dinner. She knew she should not of
eaten, but her stomach was in knots of pain. She saw herself as
fat even though there was barely an ounce of fat on her body. No
one new of what she did and she glanced around the empty room
making sure no one saw her. If they did she would just claim that
she was sick.
Well then. Four words: Ridiculous. Stupid. BAD WRITING.
After washing her face Skittery came strolling in. "Hey
what's de mattah?"
The Newsies aren't THIS dumb. I think any person with an
ounce of intelligence in them could figure this one out.
"What ya tawkin bout?" Tear looked at him
weirdly hoping it would make him believe nothing happened.
"It sound like someone threw up or sometin," Skittery
exclaimed examining Tear's bony figure. Her reddish brown hair
fell over her shoulders even thought it was up in a red bandanna.
No shit, Sherlock.
Lord, I need to skip down aways... this is almost painful.
Dreams walked into the washroom. She hummed softly, happy
that she got a good nights' sleep. Pulling out a brush, she
started to wrestle with her hair, trying to get it into semi-good
shape.
That's it. That's an entire section. What the hell does that
have to do with anything?
Skittery noticing Tears sexy display, walked up to her and
kissed her hard. Tear immediately pulled away with what little
strength she had. You could see the spit traced around her lips.
No comment.
Dreams started to get dressed as a new newsie walked in.
"Hey Dreams. What's up?" He walked over and wrapped his
arms around her, starting to kiss her.
Newsies do NOT just randomly walk up and kiss whoever the
hell is in front of them. Christ.
Oh thank God. That's the end of it so far. Let's try the button for "Links". Oh lookee here, it doesn't work. Isn't that special.
TEENYBOPPER RATING:
I give this page, 4 out of 4 toxins. This is such bad writing. It's a good idea, really, but work on the plot and TAKE A DAMN ENGLISH CLASS!