In my mind, there is no more than four people who can drive normally. Everyone else is as asshole. I am growing very tired of geriatrics driving huge ass wastes of metal around at speeds that Bob Hope could do in his golf cart at idle. This is getting beyond the tolerance levels anymore. Thus, I have created a new branch of the all governing PennDot. I have created a branch that will actually do something. And I shall call it the Speed Limit Enforcement Commitee. Or as I like to call it, the ass rammers. We will put the snow plows to use year round, only the plows won't be plowing snow. They will drive around at 45 mph everywhere, 65 on interstates and 80 on highways. And they will be instructed to plow through everything traveling slower than that. And this won't just be for my amusement either. This will generate revenue due to the increased amount of vehicles being purchased, the amount of funerals being paid for, and hospital bills. So now the budget crisis will be fixed, and I will get a good laugh everytime I leave the driveway. Any way you look at this, it is a win win situation. Not only that, but the geriatrics will either stay inside, or drive at speeds that will preserve their lives. Even though they do that now, at least their set speed limits will not anger me as much. For you reference, I have drawn up a diagram of what my new PennDot trucks will look like. And you might ask me, "who would do such a thing?". And I answer: Rednecks. Pay them $8.00 and hour and they will do just about anything. Plus they get to decorate the truck as they please. And I am not talking about your average run of the mill redneck either. I am talking about the backwoods, cousin humping, firebreathing rednecks. These ones are the stuff of legend and I want them to do this to keep them out of my hair. It will work, trust me.
