The Sailor Scouts Meet The Ronin Warriors...Heaven Help Us All

By: Angelstar1014

Chapter 2

Wow, you came back to read the second chapter! I'm shocked! For those of you who are wondering exactly what I was on when I wrote the first chapter, I owe all my success to processed sugar, and a lot of it!   Now on with the story!

Disclaimer: Unless I'm suffering from a MAJOR case of amnesia, I'm not Naoko Takeuchi and therefore do not own Sailor Moon.  Ditto for the Ronin Warriors.

The Warlords are in Tulpa's dark throne room, awaiting their punishment for failing. [AS: You ever notice that almost all the villains have dark throne rooms?]

[Faira: OF course, union regulations]
[FFS: (Playing organ music) Maybe they have the same decorator.]

[AS: Maybe...Firefly, would you quit with the organ music?]

[FFS: I...m helping to set the mood.]

[AS: I'm getting a headache...]

[Faira: (hands Angel two little white pills) here, painkillers, (puts on head phones) ahhhh much better]

"You have failed me." Tulpa says glaring at each of them. [AS: Considering the fact that he has no eyes, that's quite a feat!]

[Faira: considering they fail ALOT, he gets lots of practice]

"Master, we had unexpected interference. We didn't know the powers of the other people she was with." Anubis says bowing. "I beg you forgiveness."

"Boot licker." Kale says under his breath. [AS: Tulpa has boots?]

[FFS: Later on he does.]

[Faira: Yeah! Stupid rasafracken no good moron gets a body! Blow our nickname right out of the water, the creep]

[FFS: We can't call him, "Mr. Big Head" anymore!]*

[Faira: Big fat meanie!]

The warlords try not to snicker as Tulpa continues to rant on about how important the silver crystal is.

"I must have the Silver crystal. If I can harness its power, I'll be invincible!" [AS: You and every other loser super villain wannabe out there.]

[Faira: Maybe that's Union Rules too]

[FFS: (Looks through large book) Well, whatta know, it is! Huh.]

[AS: Where'd you get that from?]

[FFS: Um, Zoicite had a garage sale?]

[AS: (rolls eyes) Never mind. Sorry I asked.]

"Yes master." They all chorus.  [FFS: (Imitates Igor from Frankenstien) Yes master! Yes master!]

[Faira: (Hits Warlord) Get a life, morons]

[AS: Hey, I already told ya earlier! No assaulting the characters! Firefly put down Sage's no-datchi!]

[FFS: But I want to hit him!]

[AS: No, I need him for the plot.]

[FFS: (Swings sword over shoulder) NUTS!!!]

[Faira: (disperses mallet) Bummer)]

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The scouts and Ronins continue to chat about their adventures thus far.

"So you were falling upside down on purpose?"** Moon shrieks, looking at Sage. "What if you didn?t go right-side-up in time? You could've landed on your head!" [FFS: Will someone SHUT HER UP PLEASE?]

[AS: Calm down, you're going to give yourself a heart attack...]

"Well, he wouldnt've damaged anything important!" Jupiter hisses.

[FFS: GO J!!! (Pulls out pompoms.]

[Faira: (takes pompoms) You degrade into cheerleader-ness and I will be forced to mutiny]

[AS: Let her enjoy herself, at least she's away from that stupid organ.]

[FFS: (Snatches back pompoms and continues to cheer)]

[Faira: That.. is.. sad]

[FFS: You could do better?]

[Faira: That's not what I meant]

[FFS: (Sticks tongue out)]

[AS: This is Mature.]

"Okay, I've had enough!" Moon shouts. "For the past year I've heard about nothing but your ex-boyfriend! You've been comparing every single guy we've ever crossed on the street with him. Now that you've FINALLY met up with him, you want to barbecue him with a bolt of lightning!"

"That's not a bad idea..."

[AS: What wine goes best with barbecued Sage?]

[FFS: Gee, I don't know, how about red? (Holds out bottle)]

[Faira: Na! I'd rather have Root Beer or Coke]

"Corner, now!" Moon shouts pointing to a miscellaneous corner. [FFS: Sailor moon's finally getting a back bone, wow. I never thought I'd live to see the day...]

[Faira: 'bout fricken time]

Sage starts to snicker, but stops quickly when the Scout of the moon turns and glares at him. [FFS: (Singsong) He's in trouble.]

[Faira: MOONDUST HIM!!! PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!]

"You too. Stay there and work out you differences, because we need to rely on each other to get through this." [AS: She's on a roll right now.]

[Faira: (claps)]

Sage stares at her disbelievingly. Who was she to order him around? He glances at Ryo for help.

"Sorry bud. She's right."

Sage and Jupiter slink off to the corner to try and work out their differences. [FFS: Work out my foot.]

[Faira: :-) He's dead]

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In Tulpa's throne room, the Warlords were trying to pinpoint the location of their target. [AS: I thought I told you to stop playing that stupid organ!]

[FFS: But it sounds cool and it helps the atmosphere...]

[AS: (Swallows two Advil) I think I'm going to lie down now...]

[FFS: Does this mean that we can take over the story?]

[AS: (Pauses) On second thought, I can deal with the pain.]

[Faira: (plugs in her stereo and puts on Beetles) Much better.]

"You still haven't found them?" Anubis says, holding an ice compress to his head. "It's just a group of adolescents."

"That group of adolescents knocked you unconscious with one move." Dais snickers.

"Wasn't prepared." Anubis scowls. [FFS: Riiiiiggghhhttt?]

[Faira: All hail the Beautiful and Mighty Lady Jupiter! Maybe he'll think next time]

"If you weren't so lucky Dais, you'd be right next to him, applying burn ointment to your wounds." [Faira: Darn straight]

"We can use this to our advantage." Anubis says after a moment.

"What, that they made us look like inexperienced, poorly trained, low class, worthless rookies?" Kale asks. [FFS: They aren't?]

[AS: Nah, they're inexperienced, poorly trained, low class, worthless, OLD rookies.]

[Faira: Who said they're trained?]

Anubis glares at him and continues. "They think we're weak and they'll underestimate us in the next battle. We just have to make sure and take full advantage of it."

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[AS: Warning. It's going to get a bit mushy...]

[Faira:(runs and hides and then peaks out of hiding spot to watch)]

"So," Sage says after 10 minutes of silence. "how have you been doing?"

"Well, after being thoroughly DUMPED by my boyfriend, who I thought liked me a lot, I started to get into fights, making me get expelled from a ton of schools, and making me move around constantly. But hey, it's no problem uprooting my whole life every couple of months, after all, I'm an orphan."

[FFS: Ouch, that had to hurt his ego.]

[Faira: He deserves it]

"It wasn't personal Lita."

"EXCUSE ME? YOU DUMPED ME! It doesn?t get much more personal then that!"

"Really?" Sage says in an intense voice. "What was I supposed to say, 'Hi Lita, I really like you, but I just found out that I own a magical piece of armor that I have to use to help save the world along with four other people, who I haven't even met yet. Do you mind if I take off for a couple of months so I can go train and master it? And oh yeah, when the war stars, there's a chance I'll die. Is that okay?'"

[AS: I hate to say it, but he's gotta point...]

[FFS: DAMN!! (Snaps fingers)]

[Faira: Bloody.... oh well]

"Your armor?"Jupiter asks confused. "You broke up with me because of your armor?"

"Yeah, I was going into a war and I couldn't have a girlfriend. I'm sorry I hurt you so much."

"That's no excuse! Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask are dating and so're the rest of us!"

[AS: And when was the last time you had a date Leets?]

[FFS: They're dating? Wow, I did not know this.]

[Faira: It's more like Darien feeds her and Serena loves him for it, I think.]

"How often do you have to make excuses? Don't they have a suspicious look in their eyes after a while? Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask are comrades in arms, and I notice that Darien is extremely protective of her. How would you have taken that news if I did tell you?"

Jupiter opens her mouth, then shuts it and looks away. "I guess you're right, it still hurts though."

Sage smiles slightly."I'll tell ya what, after we beat the Dynasty, I'll visit you so you can slap me around a little." [FFS: Only a little?]

[Faira: Can we help?!]

Jupiter barely smiles. "I think I'll take you up on that."

"So...Friends?" Sage asks, offering his hand.

"Friends."

The conversation was cut short by Sailor Moon's scream.[Faira: which shatters windows]

[AS: She really should become an opera singer or something.]

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"AHHH! SAVE ME MUFFIN!" Moon shouts hiding pointing at a large white tiger that just entered that building.

[AS:I wonder if Luna would like to meet him, she seems to have a thing for white cats...]

[FFS: That wasn't very nice. But you've got a point.]

[Faira: :-) Celebrity Death Match: White Blaze v.s. Artemis, Winner: Mina, kills White Blaze for attacking her 'poor defenseless putty kat]***

"Calm down, it's only Whiteblaze." A small boy with brown hair says coming up to the group. "Mia, who're these people?"

[FFS: The BRAT'S here?]

[AS: Yeah, at least Rini isn't...]

[FFS: (Shudders) I'd hate to think of the two of them together.]

[Faira: Cotton Candy Nightmares and then some]

"I don't know Yulie, Ryo would you introduce us?"  A redhead says entering.

After the usual introduction and a very quick version of the story the group is back at square one.****

"So you think that Tulpa is after the Silver Crystal?" Mia says after hearing the whole story.

"Well, yeah, almost every villain we've ever fought has wanted it. Well except for Alan and Ann, but they didn't know it existed or else I'm sure that they would've because who wouldn't want it?" Moon continues to babble until Mars covers her mouth. [FFS: Thankyouthankyouthankyou...]

[Faira: (covers her mouth) You'll have to forgive her folks.]

[FFS: Knock it off V-babe!]

[Faira:(smiles sweetly) No]

[FFS: We'll talk later]

[Faria: Whatever boss.]

"They get the idea."

Moon glares at her. "Okay, it's late and we'd better get some sleep, so if you guys would kindly turn around we'll de-transform."

Tuxedo Mask smirks and complies while the Ronins look confused.

"Why do you want us to turn around?" Ryo asks confused.

"Well Mercury, you're the scientific one," Jupiter says with a sly smile. "why don't you explain it?"

[FFS: Aren't we sweet?]

[Faira: They honestly think all the guys will turn around? With Sage there? He'll probably have his eyes glued to Lita]

[AS: Not while he's still slightly afraid for his life.]

[Faira: Point.]

The scouts giggle as the resident brain turns several bright shades of red. "Um, well?you see, so much energy is released transforming and de-transforming that we're um..." The rest was nothing but mumbling.

"What did she say?" Sye asks Rowen.

"I caught something about 'something lasting for less then a couple of seconds'' but that's about it."

Tuxedo Mask sighs in frustration then decides to take matters into his own hands. "I don't see why you're so embarrassed about, they're naked for about 2.5 seconds then they're back in regular street clothes. What?s the big deal?"

"Are you saying that you don't mind people seeing me naked, Muffin?" [FFS: Ouch! Ooo, that one had to hurt!] Moon says with one of her unusually evil smiles. "Well if you don't mind, then, I don't mind..." She slowly reaches for her broach, only to be stopped by Tuxie.

"Something wrong?" She asks sweetly, already knowing his answer.

[AS: (Laughs evilly)]

"I see your point." Tuxedo Mask says gruffly then he looks at the Ronin Warriors. "Please turn around." [Faira: Like he's a threat]

[AS: Well, he was when he was evil...]

Trying to keep in their laughter in check, the Ronins and Yulie turn around.

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Anubis and the other warlords are gathered in Tulpa's throne room. "Are you ready to begin the plan?" Tulpa asks.

[AS: (Chases Firefly around with a mallet) I told you to stop playing the organ!]

[FFS: I'm helping the atmosphere!]

[AS: (Swings mallet and breaks the organ) Silence at last!]

[FFS: My organ! (Starts to cry)]

[AS: (Panics) Here! (Hands Firefly an Onyx doll)]

[FFS: (Hugs doll and squeals happily)]

[AS: (Sighs relieved)]

[Faira: (turns up her personal stereo and sighs) Baka.. (ducks flying Onyx doll)]
[FFS: I heard that! (retrieves Onyx doll.)]

"Yes master." Sekhmet says evilly "They'll never know what hit them."

Mwa ha ha ha ha! Don't you just hate cliffhangers? I know that they're such a pain. E-mail addresses are the same as last time, with the exception of Firefly, but I already explained that.

* Another inside joke, again, don't ask.

**In the first episode, Sage fall upside-down off a building and introduces himself. I strongly advise against trying this at home.

***If I can convince her, I'd like Faira to write a Sailor Death Match series, I'd personally love to see some of the characters in a grudge match.

****Mia is the college student that knows about the legend of the Ronin Warriors, she's very useful. Yulie is the brat that whines too much and usually gets in the way when there's trouble.