| Everything I Need To Know In Life I Learned From Pokémon | |
| 1. | Seeing large yellow mice is not a sign that you've been working too hard. |
| 2. | When hard work and experience fail, there's always dumb luck. (Ash knows it all) |
| 3. | Team Rocket will ALWAYS lose. (And James is a cross dresser) |
| 4. | Professors are all named after plants. (Oak? OAK? Couldn't they get more creative?) |
| 5. | Cute little creatures will strange names are very dangerous in the wrong hands. (But they're still cute...) |
| 6. | Every nurse is named Joy. |
| 7. | Every police officer is named Jenny. (And every one of my creativity looks like Barney!) |
| 8. | Brock will turn into a quivering mass of jello every time he's around a cute girl. (Which is about...every 5 seconds...) |
| 9. | Misty really does like Ash. (No if she'd just get her head out of her ass and admit it...) |
| 10. | Pokémon types are like a complicated form of rock paper scissors. (...Complicated form of rock paper scissors...yeah, that sounds good) |
| 11. | Bad disguises really do work. (Team Rocket needs help) |
| 12. | Names will more often then not be a bad pun. |
| 13. | Even Team Rocket can do a good deed. (Them? Do good deeds? My god!) |
| 14. | Trophies make excellent exercise weights. (Mm-hm!) |
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