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"i can be alone by myself i was lonely alone now i'm lonely with you something is wrong there are flies everywhere i go" -- Alone "rain is god's sperm falling in the receptive woman how else to spend a rainy day other than with you seeking sun and stars and heavenly bodies how else to spend a rainy day other than with you" -- Rain "sometimes when i wake up in the morning and see all the faces i just can't breathe" -- Sometimes "how do you write a poem about someone so close to you that when you say ahhhhh they say chuuuu what can they ask you to put on paper that isn't already written on your face and does the paper make it any more real that without them life would be not impossible but certainly more difficult and why would someone need a poem to say when i come home if you're not there i search the air for your scent would i search any less if i told the world i don't care at all and love is so complete that touch or not we blend to teach other the things that matter aren't all about baaaanging (i can be baaaanged all day long) but finding a spot where i can be free of all the physical and emotional bullshit and simply sit with a cup of coffee and say to you "i'm tired" don't you know those are my love words and say to you "how was your day" doesn't that show i care or say to you "we lost a friend" and not want to share that loss with strangers don't you already know what i feel and if you don't maybe i should check my feelings" -- How Do You Write A Poem? " and sometimes i sit down at my typewriter and i think not of someone cause there isn't anyone to think about and i wonder is it worth it" -- And Sometimes I Sit " the world is not a pleasant place to be without someone to hold and be held by a river would stop its flow if only a stream were there to receive it an ocean would never laugh if clouds weren't there to kiss her tears the world is not a pleasant place to be without someone " -- The World Is Not A Pleasent Place To Be " i remember learning you jump in your sleep and smile when you wake up at first you cuddle then one arm across my stomach then one leg touching my leg then you turn your back but you smile when you wake up i was surprised to know you don't care if your amp burns all night and that you could play ohmeohmy over and over again just because you remembered i discovered you don't like hair in your bahtroom sink and never step your wet feet onto a clean rug you will answer your phone but you don't talk too long and you do rub my toes and make faces while you talk and your voice told her anyway that i was there you can get up at three and make sandwiches and organce juice and tell jokes you sometimes make incoherent sentences you snore and you smile when you wake up i know you cry when you're hurt and curse when you're angry and try when you odn't feel like it and smile at me when you wake up these things i learned through a simple single touch when fleshes clashed " -- I Remember "it was very pleasant not having you around this afternoon not that i don't love you and want you and need you and love loving and wanting and needing you but there was a certain peace when you walked out the door and i knew you would do something you wanted to do and i could run a tub full of water and not worry about answering the phone for your call and soak in bubbles and not worry whether you would want something special for dinner and rub lotion all over me for as long as i wanted and not worry if you had a good idea or wanted to use the bathroom and there was a certain excitement when after midnight you came home and we had coffee and i had a day of mine that made me as happy as yours did you " -- A Certain Peace " poetry is a trestle spanning the distance between what i feel and what i say like a locomotive i rush full speed ahead trusting your strength to carry me over sometimes we share a poem because people are near and they would notice me noticing you so i write X and you write O and we both win sometimes we share a poem because i'm washing the dishes and you're looking at your news or sometimes we make a poem because it's Sunday and you want ice cream while i want cookies but always we share a poem because belief predates action and i believe the most beautiful poem ever heard is your heart racing " -- Poetry Is A Trestle " poetry is motion graceful as a fawn gentle as a teardrop strong like the eye finding peace in a crowded room we poets tend to think our words are golden though emotion speaks too loudly to be defined by silence sometimes after midnight or just before the dawn we sit typewriter in hand pulling loneliness around us forgetting our lovers or children who are sleeping ignoring the weary wariness of our own logic to compsoe a poem no one understands it it never says "love me" for poets are beyond love it never says "accept me" for poems seke not acceptance but controversy it only says "i am" and therefore i concede that you are too a poem is pure energy horizontally contained between the mind of the poet and the ear of the reader if it does not sing discard the ear for poetry is song if it does not deligh discard the heart for poetry is joy if it does not inform then close off the brain for it is dead if it cannot heed the insistent message that life is precious which is all we poets wrapped in our loneliness are trying to say " -- Poetry " i haven't written a poem in so long i may have forgotten how unless writing a poem is like riding a bike or swimming upstream or loving you it may be a habit that once aquired is never lost but you say i'm foolish of course you love me but being loved of course is not the same as being loved because or being loved despite or being loved if you love me why do i feel so lonely and why do i always wake up alone and why am i practicing not having you to love i never loved you that way " -- Habits " she wanted to be a blade of grass amid the fields but he wouldn't agree to be the dandelion she wanted to be a robin singing through the leaves but he refused to be her tree she spun herself into a web and turned to him but he stood straight declining to be her corner she tried to be a book but he wouldn't read she turned herself into a bulb but he wouldn't let her grow she decided to become a woman and though he still refused to be a man she decided it was all right " -- Woman " We are not lovers because of the love we make but the love we have We are not friends because of the laughs we spend but the tears we save I don't want to be near you for the thoughts we share but the words we never have to speak I will never miss you because of what we do but what we are together " -- A Poem Of Friendship " in life one is always balancing like we juggle our mothers against our fathers or one teacher against another (only to balance our grade average) 3 grains of salt to one ounce truth our sweet black essence or the funky honkies down the street and lately I've begun wondering if you re trying to tell me something we used to talk all night and do things alone together and i've begun (as a reaction to a feeling) to balance the pleasure of loneliness against the pain of loving you " -- Balances " I love you because the Earth turns round the sun because the North wind blows north sometimes because the Pope is Catholic and most Rabbis Jewish because winters flow into spring and the air clears after a storm because only my love for you despite the charms of gravity keeps me from falling off the Earth into another dimension I love you because it is the natural order of things I love you like the habit I picked up in college of sleeping through lectures or saying I'm sorry when I get stopped for speeding because I drink a glass of water in the morning and chain-smoke cigarettes all through the day because I take my coffee Black and my milk with chocolate because you keep my feet warm through my life a mess I love you because I don't want it any other way I am helpless in m love for you It makes me so happy to hear you call my name I am amazed you can resist locking me in an echo chamber where your voice reverberates through the four walls sending me into spasmatic ecstasy I love you because it's been so good for so long that if I didn't love you I'd have to be born again and that is not a theological statement I am pitiful in my love for you The Dells tell me Love is so simple the thought though of you sends indescribably delicious multitudinous thrills throughout and through-in my body I love you because no two snowflakes are alike and it is possible if you stand tippy-toe to walk between the raindrops I love you because I am afraid of the dark and can't sleep in the light because I rub my eyes when I wake up in the morning and find you there because you with all your magic powers were determined that I should love you because there was nothing for you but that I would love you I love you because you made me want to love you more than I love my privacy my freedom my commitments and responsibilities I love you `cause I changed my life to love you because you saw me one friday afternoon and decided that I would love you I love you I love you I love you " -- Resignation (Just for Lexie! ^_^) �I wish I knew how it would feel to be free� - Woman Poem �Your mother may be glad to see you but she may also remember why you went away� � Africa I �I only want to be there to kiss you�� � My House �I think it might be good to decide rather than to need� � The December of My Springs �But you held me one evening and now I know the Ultimate Luxury of your love� � Luxury �They say you never fight the cold with the cold but since I never do anything right I called you� � Hampton, Virginia �There were always things she wanted like arms to hold her eyes that understood a friend to relax with someone to touch always her life was a puzzle broken into a hundred thousand little pieces� the center was empty� � Introscpection �Emotional falls always are the worst and there are no crutches to swing back on� - Crutches �and I make up with you because you are not strong enough to reach out to say come home �What is a woman�.to think�when all she hears�are words that exclude her�all she feels�are emotions that deceive��-Linkage �I should love you I would love you I love you Want to love you� - Resignation |