A Writer�s Want

 
Have you ever wanted to be invisible?  To walk across the world and not worry about what people see in you?  I have.  Not always, but there are those days when just too many people see you, notice your movements.  I hate those days.  I hate it when a simple action causes notice for negative reasons. 
   I wonder what it would be like to be completely transparent.  To walk through a door and have no one look up.  To be able to see the secrets of one�s heart and not for use against or for them, but just for the sake of knowledge.  I think if I could be invisible, I would like to choose one person and study him/her.  Study that person�s actions, fears, joys, and thoughts.  To know the substance of another human�s life that is not my own.
   I suppose that is why I write.  To take a meaningless name and give it limbs, breath, emotion.  To map out my character�s existence and figure out his or her reactions.  A pen and paper becomes a world full of life and meaning, at least in my eyes.  Or, rather, in my mind�s eye.
   In the real world, I may be exposed, vulnerable, prone to harm and humiliation.  But, not on paper.  In my world of blue lines, red margins, and black ink, I am the invisible creator.  My characters do not know my inner soul and yet they are my inner soul.  So have you ever wanted to be invisible?  I have and, in my room, hunched over my desk, I am.
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