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| Week 27 5/12/02 - 5/18/02 |
| This week was Mother's Day, I took it 100 times harder than I thought I would. I really didn't think it would have any affect on me but when Sunday came I was a wreck. I ended up upset all day. It was the hardest day I have had in a long time as far as missing Faith. It didn't help that Jim didn't get anything and only 1 of my friends even thought of me, and no calls from family. Jim thought he was doing the right thing by not drawing attention to the day, but it hurt and I wish at least someone in my family would have thought to call. ( I have a wonderful husband and family but I guess it wasn't that big a deal to everyone else.) I always say it isn't easy being the mommy to an angel, and I guess people not considering you a mom in the first place is just one of the things that comes with the territory. The next morning, I did find a card at my door and 2 silk roses. It was from the one friend, Julie, that called on Mothers Day. The card was just beautiful, she wrote it and signed it as if it was from my 2 daughters and said that the 2 flowers stood for each of them. That was really touching and the card and flowers I now have on display in our living room. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Monday, we went to the doctor for my gloucose test to check for gestational diabetes (I had to drink this super sweet, sugary drink in 5 minutes....good news is I passed!!! ) We also went for our first NST (non-stress test). They hook you up to 2 monitors....one to monitor the baby's heart rate and the other to see if you are having any contractions. Then they give you a button to press any time the baby moves. Well, they didn't think the baby was having enough heartbeat accelerations on the NST so we did an ultra-sound for a "bio physical" (never even heard of this til that day). They check the amniotic fluid, the placenta, the baby's tone (movements) and the baby working it's lungs (practice breathing). The doctor wasn't seeing the practice breathing, so she were concerned. (This was not my regular doctor) We ended up being sent to the hospital to labor and delivery!!!! Let's just say it was another case of history repeating cause I am 26 weeks along and the last time I was at labor and delivery was the day we lost Faith. Just walking into that hospital was totally freaking me out. Then we actually went into a delivery room and had to walk by the room I was in where I spent 2 days being induced with Faith, prior to my c-section. When the nurse brought the gown and hosptial socks, etc in and told me to get dressed...I just about lost it... it was like a sick joke that someone was playing on me!!! Jim told the nurse that we both might have "A deer in the headlights" look on our faces because it was just bizzarre to be back there....and at 26 weeks of all times. The baby and I are both fine....we ended up being hooked up to monitors for 3 hours and then they did another biophysical to check for the breathing and this time the baby did great. We got home very late that night and we were both exhausted, to say the least. Wednesday, 5/15, is the exact day in my pregnancy where we found out we lost Faith.... I seemed to be crying at the drop of a hat this week... and am very emotionally drained. Part of me can't believe we are back here again already. It feels weird. Almost like the time from 26 weeks last time and now this time was just one big nightmare, almost like all of this couldn't possibly have happened. I am enormously relieved that Faith's little sister has now made it farther along in life than her big sister, and pray that we wil continue to be blessed. I know our angel above is doing her part. |