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| The night before Alexa was born Jim and I were so so anxious. We had to be up at 4am to be at the hospital for 5:30. Well there were no worries there about getting up on time, especially because I woke up at 2:15 and that was the end of sleep for me!!! (Probably for the rest of my life!! ha ha) The ride to the hospital was really weird. Jim and I were both very quiet. I started to cry. It was the strangest feeling, as if the last 11 months hadn't even happened and we were back to the day that we went into the hospital with Faith, only this time we would be coming home with our little girl. We were both so happy and so sad at the same time. We got to the hospital and there was a wonderful nurse, Jen, waiting for us. She said "Do you remember me?" and then we realized that she was the nurse that was in my C-section with Faith. She took care of Faith, dressed her and took pics of her afterwards and was there when we were holding her. She was so genuinely happy for us, all of the staff was. We talked a bit about this pregnancy and about Faith. It was nice to be greeted by a familiar face, especially someone who took great care of Faith. They did my IV, bloodwork, paperwork all of that and then it was basically hurry up and wait for it to be time. As time got closer I got more and more nervous. The anesthethiolgist came in and went over all of the risks of having a spinal. Well, nothing like freaking you out right before you are going in for surgery! I was about to bail myself out of the hospital, especially when she said "well of course there is a risk of death, but that's very rare!" UUHHHHHH... Well it ain't gonna seem rare to me if I die!! Another nurse took me down to the operating room and again all the way there the tears were flowing. It was too much like de ja vu, as it was the same walk I took last time. I was in this timewarp and was just reliving what happened last year. Thankfully the OR I was in last time was full so I got a different room. I went in and they sat me down on the table and basically I just sat there and cried while they got ready. I couldn't stop myself, I was just so full of many many emotions. It took a while for my spinal to go in. It just wasn't working right. My tears turned to tears of pain! OUCH!!! It took a few tries and a whole lot of me shouting "That hurts!!" Before it finally took effect. The doctor's came in, it was neat because it was my doctor that we had with Faith and the wonderful resident who when she found out we were having a baby again she rearranged her schedule to be able to do my C. It was a little strange having the same people but also nice that we were able to share this all together again under a happy circumstance instead of tragic. They brought Jim in, which really helped calm me down, and we were ready to go. I was scared because I could still feel things going on and was afraid the spinal wasn't working but they assured me that I wouldn't feel pain, luckily they were right!!!! It felt like the procedure was taking forever. I was so ready to meet my little girl! At one point, I yelled out "OUCH!" The doctors freaked, "What?! What?!?" I said, "I just got kicked in the ribs!!" It was like one last pregnancy gift, a kick from my little one!! Finally, I could actually feel them starting to take her out and then we heard her first cries! It was unbelievable! She cried about 3-4 times and the doctor told Jim to stand up. He got to watch them deliver her and He took a picture of our doctor holding her right as she was born. Her cord still attached and everything. I love that picture! The doctor held her up high so I could see. She looked so messy and mad and her face was all crunched up. Even with all that she was the most amazing site I have every seen! They brought her over to the table and started doing the whole clean up thing. She has a lot of vernex on her (that white stcky stuff). Jim and I were just in awe, all we cold do is stare at her! I told Jim, "It doesn't feel like she's really ours! I feel like I am just here having an operation and someone just brought a newborn into the room!" I mean how can that perfect little being have come from my body! It is too much to comprehend! They had Jim come over and cut the remainder of the cord. He was so pysched to be able to do that. Then they bundled her up and Jim held her and brought her over to me. Again we just stared at her. She was so small and so so perfect! Her Apgar scores were a 9 and 10! The nurse kept saying we just don't give out 10's. She was going to give her a 9, but my doctor said "Give her the 10!" The baby was doing so so well!!! Once the C was over, I got to hold our new little miracle, Alexa Faith, for the very first time as they wheeled us off to the recovery room. We got to spend some time with her there checking out her fingers and toes and all of her features. Then they took her up to the nursery to get cleaned up and measured, while I was brought to my room. It felt like an eternity that I was away from her. I was getting so worked up and ended up sending Jim to the nursery to make sure she was doing ok. We stayed in the hospital for 4 days. The staff there was great and Alexa got to meet many of her relatives and friends. We worked on our breastfeeding and I was having a pretty decent recovery from my C. I kept forgetting that I wasn't pregnant! I had to keep stopping myself from the "the baby hasn't been moving" thoughts. By far the most special moment was when we got to see Lorraine. She is a wonderful amazing nurse, a sweet Irish woman. She was the first to take care of us when we were admitted to the hospital w/ Faith. She took care of us for the majority of the 2 1/2 days that they had tried to induce labor. She was so caring and kind to us. We requested her when we got to the hospital this time but she was on vacation in Ireland, we were so dissapointed. Well Jim went out one day to get lunch and there she was in the hallway. He went up to her and she knew who he was and one of the docs had left her a note that we had had our baby. She came back to the room with him and visited with us for while and got to see Alexa. It was so special to us to be able to share that with her. We will always remember her and hope that when it is time for us to add to the family again that she will be able to take care of us. We got to take Alexa home on 8/5. The ride home was very emotional and I, again, was full of tears but this time it was different. it was like a huge weight had been lifted and that everything was finally as it should be. I just kept saying to Jim that I cannot believe that we finally made it. We finally are here on this day, when it felt like was never going to come! We had our little girl and we were going home to start our lives together. After all we have been through, we kept our faith that we would get here and after a long, long road, here we are, thanks to that faith and also our angel Faith. The next day we took our new miracle to visit her sister, although I am sure they have already "met", I wanted to bring her to her sister so Faith could know that she made it here safe and sound and to thank her for all she did for us. Alexa would not be here if we had not lost Faith, I will never forget that and for reasons we may never know, we and she had to make that sacrifice for her little sister. I can honestly say that so far I do not miss being pregnant. Not that I didn't love it, just pregnancy to me equals worry, anxiety, waiting, and even loss.I really feel like a different person, all of that stress has finally been lifted! Not that I don't worry about Alexa now. But it is definately a different kind of worry and it is definately easier now that I can hug my little girl and have her take that worry away!! |
| A Miracle Arrives |
| Alexa Faith Born 8/2/02 at 9:03 am 5 lbs 14 oz & 19 in |
| You can see pictures of Alexa at her website!!! Alexa's Website |