| C
i t a t i o n s . . .
B t V S s a i s o n 3 . . .
F
a i t h , H o p e a n d T r i c k . . .
Faith : Isn't it crazy how slayin'
just always makes you hungry and horny?
Buffy : Well... sometimes I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards.
Giles : It's a great honor to be
invited... or so I'm told.
Faith : Oh, it's boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you.
Buffy : Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is
Giles.
Faith : I've seen him. If I'd have known they came that young and
cute, I would've requested a transfer.
Buffy : Raise your hand if 'ew'.
Faith : You guys are a hoot and a
half. I mean, if I had friends like you in high school, I... probably
still would've dropped out, but I might've been sad about it, you know?
Faith : Well, when I'm fighting,
it's like the whole world goes away, and I only know one thing: that I'm
gonna' win, and they're gonna' lose. I like that feelin'.
Buffy : Well, sure. Beats that dead feeling you get when they win
and you lose.
Faith : Didn't we, um, do this
street already?
Buffy : Funny thing about vamps. They'll hit a street even after
you've been there. It's like they have no manners.
Faith : I'm five-by-five here, B,
living entirely large, actually wondering about your problem.
Buffy : Well, I may not sleep in the nude and rassle alligators...
Faith : Maybe it's time you started 'cause obviously something in
your bottle needs uncorking.
Faith : What are you getting so
strung out for, B?
Buffy : Why are your lips still moving, F?
Faith : Did I just hear a threat?
Buffy : Would you like to?
Faith : Wow. Think you can take me?
Buffy : Yeah. I just hope they can't!
Faith : My dead mother hits harder
than that!
Faith : Gee, if doing violence to
vampires upsets you, I think you're in the wrong line of work.
Faith : I'm the one who can handle
this.
Buffy : Yeah, you're a real badass when it comes to packing.
Buffy : Faith, you run, he runs
after you.
Faith : That's where the head start comes in handy.
Buffy : You hungry?
Faith : Starved.
B e a u t
y a n d t h e B e a s t s . . .
Buffy : But he is... nice, and he's
funny.
Faith : And quite a muffin.
Buffy : Blueberry. That crunchy, munchy stuff on top. But my most
favorite thing so far is that he doesn't seem to be any kind of hell beast.
Faith : All men are beasts, Buffy.
Buffy : Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical 'till I was at
least forty.
Faith : It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy, from
Manimal to Mr. I-love-The-English-Patient has beast in him. And I don't
care how sensitive they act. They're all still just in for the chase.
Faith : Nice place. Do you ever
catch kids doing the diddy out here?
Faith : Bet you and Scott have been
up there kicking the gear shift.
Faith : But you like him, and when
you think about him, you get that good down-low tickle, right?
Buffy : Yeah, I guess, but... how low?
Faith : You tell me.
Buffy : How about not?
Faith : Buffy, are you okay? What
are you doing here?
Buffy : Uh, bleeding internally, but I'll live.
Faith : I was going kind of crazy
in here, but I can get in a few stakings before sunrise.
Buffy : Knock yourself out. Not literally, though.
H o m e c o
m i n g . . .
Faith : Oh, man! Guys should break
up with you more often.
Buffy : Gee, thank you.
Faith : No, I mean it. I mean, you really got some quality rage
going. Really gives you an edge.
Faith : Scott? There you are, honey!
Hey, good news. The doctor says that the itching and the swelling and the
burning should clear up, but we gotta keep using the ointment.
R e v e l a
t i o n s . . .
Buffy : I wouldn't use the word
"dating", but I am going out with somebody - tonight, as a
matter of fact.
Willow : Really? Who?
Faith : Yo, what's up? Hey, time to motorvate.
Buffy : Really, we're just good friends.
Buffy : Synchronized slaying.
Faith : New Olympic category?
Faith : No offense, lady, I just
have this problem with authority figures. They end up kind of dead.
Gwen Post : Do you have Hume's "Paranormal Encyclopedia"?
The Labyrinth maps of Malta?
Giles : It's on order."
Faith : Excuse me, Mary Poppins, but you don't seem to be listening.
Faith : I've had my share of
losers, but you... you boinked the undead.
Xander : Wait!
Faith : For what? For you to grow a pair?
Faith : I can't believe how much
I'm gonna kill you.
Faith : You're confused, twinkie. Let me clear you up. Vampire.
Slayer. Dead vampire.
Buffy : How are you?"
Faith : 5 by 5."
Buffy : I'll interpret that as good.
Xander : How'd you like a hit of
some real news: Angel's still alive.
Faith : The vampire.
Xander : Back in town. Saw him myself. Toting the popular and
famous glove.
Faith : Angel. Guy like that, with that kind of glove, could
kill a whole mess of people.
Xander : Said the same thing to Buffy myself. Weird how she didn't
seem to care.
Faith : Buffy knew he was alive. I can't believe her.
Xander : She says he's clean.
Faith : Yeah, well, I say we can't afford to find out. I say I deal
with this problem right now. I say I slay.
Xander : Can I come?
A m e n d s . .
.
Buffy : I like the lights.
Faith : Yeah. Well, 'tis the season. Whatever that means.
Joyce : Oh, that is so thoughtful.
Faith : They're crappy.
T h e Z
e p p o . . .
Faith : These babes were wicked
rowdy. What's their deal?
Xander : Excuse me? Who, at a
crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him
about the head?
Faith : Yeah. That was real manly how you shrieked and all.
Xander : I think you'll find that was more of a bellow.
Faith : A fight like that and no
kill. I'm about ready to pop.
Xander : Really? Pop?
Faith : You up for it?
Xander : Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up. It's just, um, I've
never been up with people before.
Faith : Just relax... and take off your pants.
Xander : Those two concepts are antithetical.
Faith : Don't worry. I'll steer you around the curves.
B a d G
i r l s . . .
Faith : So, what, you're telling me
never?
Buffy : Faith, really now is not the time!
Faith : I'm curious. Never ever? Come on, really. All this time,
and not even once?
Buffy : How many times do I have to say it? I have never... done
it... with Xander. He's just a friend.
Faith : So? What are friends for? I mean, I'm sorry, it's just, all
this sweating nightly, side-by-side action, and you never put in for a
little after-hours (grunt)?
Buffy : Thanks for the poetry.
Faith : Nicely diverted, B.
Buffy : Diverted? That was me fighting for my life, Miss Attention
Span.
Faith : This isn't a Tupperware party. It's a little hard to plan.
Buffy : The count of three isn't a plan. It's Sesame Street.
Faith : New Watcher?
Buffy & Giles : "New Watcher.
Faith : Screw that.
Buffy : Now, why didn't I just say that?
Faith : We're Slayers, girlfriend.
The Chosen two. Why should we let him take all the fun out of it?
Buffy : Oh, that would be tragic. Taking the fun out of slaying,
stabbing, beheading.
Faith : Tell me that if you don't
get in a good slaying, after a while, you just start itching for some vamp
to show up so you can give him a good -- (grunt).
Buffy : Again with the grunting.
Buffy : What about the assignment?
Faith : Tell you what, you do the homework, and I'll copy yours.
Buffy : Wait. Stop! Think.
Faith : No. No. No.
Faith : When are you going to get
this, B? Life for a Slayer is very simple -- want... take... have.
Buffy : Want... take... have. I'm gettin' it.
Buffy : Yeah? Who's wrong now?
Faith, you can shut off all the emotions that you want. But eventually,
they're gonna find a body.
Faith : Okay, this is the last time we're gonna have this
conversation, and we're not even having it now, you understand me? There is
no body. I took it, weighted it, and dumped it. The body doesn't exist.
Buffy : Getting rid of the evidence doesn't make the problem go
away.
Faith : It does for me.
Buffy : Faith, you don't get it. You killed a man.
Faith : No, you don't get it. I don't care!
C o n s e
q u e n c e s . . .
Wesley : My. She's... cheeky, isn't
she?
Faith : First word, 'jail,' second word, 'bait.'
Wesley : I'm your commander now,
and on the matter of this murder, I am resolved. Natural or super, I want
to know.
Faith : Fine with me. Always ready to kick a little bad-guy butt.
Faith : So, you gonna rat me out?
Is that it?
Buffy : Faith, we have to tell. I can't pretend to investigate
this. I can't pretend that I don't know.
Faith : Oh, I see. But you can pretend that Angel's still dead when
you need to protect him.
Buffy : I am trying to protect you. Look, if-if we don't do
the right thing, it's only gonna make things worse for you.
Faith : Worse than jail for the rest of my young life? No way!
Buffy : Faith, what we did was...
Faith : Yeah. We. You were right there beside me when this whole
thing went down. Anything I have to answer for, you do, too. You're a part
of this, B. All the way.
Faith : He came out of nowhere.
Buffy : I know.
Faith : Whatever. I'm not lookin' to hug and cry and learn and grow.
I'm just saying it happened quickly, you know?
Faith : So his papers are gone.
That doesn't prove anything.
Buffy : Except that somebody didn't want us to prove anything.
Faith : So the Mayor of Sunnydale is a Black Hat. That's a shocker,
huh?
Buffy : Actually, yeah. I didn't get the bad guy vibe off of him.
Buffy : Just look at you, Faith.
Less than 24 hours ago you killed a man. And now it's all
zip-a-dee-doo-dah?
Faith : How many people do you
think we've saved by now, thousands? And didn't you stop the world form
ending? Because in my book, that puts you and me in the plus column.
Buffy : We help people! It doesn't
mean we can do whatever we want.
Faith : Why not? The guy I offed was no Gandhi. I mean, we just saw
he was mixed up in dirty dealings.
Buffy : Maybe, but what if he was coming to us for help?
Faith : What if he was? You're still not seeing the big picture, B.
Something made us different. We're warriors. We're built to kill.
Buffy : To kill demons! But it does not mean that we get to
pass judgment on people like we're better than everybody else!
Faith : We are better! That's right, better. People
need us to survive. In the balance, nobody's gonna cry over some
random bystander who got caught in the crossfire.
Buffy : I am.
Faith : Well, that's your loss.
Xander : Pretty much not gonna try
to take you under any circumstances. See, here, feel that. Probably like a
wet noodle to ya, huh?
Faith : Five minutes.
Xander : That's all I need. For talking and conversation. I'm, uh,
quick as a bunny.
Faith : Lights on or off? Kinks or
vanilla?
Faith : I could do anything to you now, and you'd want me to. I
could make you scream. I could make you die.
Faith : Finally decided to tie me up, huh? I always knew you
weren't really a one-Slayer guy.
Angel : Sorry about the chains. It's not that I don't trust you,
it's... Actually, it is that I don't trust you.
Faith : I know what it looked like, but we were just playing.
Angel : And he forgot the safety word. Is that it?
Faith : Safety words are for wusses.
Angel : You can't imagine the price
of true evil.
Faith : Yeah? I hope evil takes MasterCard.
Faith : I've seen it, B. You've got
the lust. And I'm not just talking about screwing vampires.
Buffy : Don't you dare bring him into this.
Faith : It was good, wasn't it? The sex? The danger? Bet a part of
you even dug him when he went psycho.
Buffy : No!
Faith : You sent your boy to kill
me.
Le Maire : That's right, I did.
Faith : He's dust.
Le Maire : I thought he might be. What with you standing here and
all.
Faith : I guess that means you have a job opening.
D o p p
e l g a n g l a n d . . .
Giles : How did it go?
Faith : Princess Margaret here had a little trouble keeping up.
Giles : How did it go?
Wesley : Faith, uh, did quite well on the obstacle field. Still a
little sloppy, though.
Giles : Do you feel up to taking Buffy out, or shall I?
Wesley : Oh, no, no, no, I'll be fine. Just give me a minute. And
some defibrillators, it it's not too much trouble.
Faith : You're gonna love it, B. It's just like fun, only boring.
Faith : Are you serious about this
place?
Le Maire : Of course I am. No Slayer of mine is gonna live in a
fleabag hotel. That place has a very unsavory reputation. There are
immoral liaisons going on there.
Faith : Yeah, plus all the screwing.
Le Maire : Oh, hey, hey, hey, shoes, shoes!
Faith : Thanks, sugar-daddy!
Le Maire : Now, Faith, I don't find that sort of thing amusing. I'm
a family man. Now, let's kill your little friend. Don't worry, I wouldn't
ask you to do it. Not this early in the relationship. Besides, I think a
vampire attack would look less suspicious, anyway. In the meantime, let's
look at the rest of the apartment, huh? If I'm not mistaken, some lucky
girl has herself a PlayStation.
Faith : No way.
Le Maire : Yes way!
E n e m i e s .
. .
Angel : I'll see you soon.
Faith : Don't worry, big guy. Just keeping her warm for ya'.
Faith : The 'close but no cigar'
deal with Angel. I don't know if I could handle, you know, the way
you're not handling it.
Buffy : Not really looking to trade
with a demon.
Démon : And if this were still a barter economy, that would be a
problem. I want cash, princess. Five large for the whole set.
Faith : So you can buy -- I'm guessing here -- some skin care
products?
Démon : So, five G's? What do you say?
Faith : I think 'Die, fiend,' sums it up, wouldn't you say?
Le Maire : And what exactly did this demon look like?
Faith : Demonic.
Angel : It's okay.
Faith : No, it's a couple county lines over from okay, believe me.
Angel : Start from the beginning.
Faith : Mind if I skip past the 'Mom never loved me' part and get
right to it?
Faith : I don't wanna' get all twelve-steppy, but remember when you
told me that killing people would make me feel like some kind of god?
I think I just came down to Earth.
Faith : It's not human, if that's what you're thinking. Not
that that makes me feel any better or this guy any less dead.
Le Maire : I just don't understand
what that boy could be thinking.
Faith : Try Buffy Summers, like in a big fat one-track way.
Le Maire : So you couldn't give him that one moment of true
happiness.
Faith : I was thinking more along the lines of a long weekend, but
okay.
Faith : Look, I'm not so good at
apologies, mostly 'cause I think the world's out to screw me, so I'm
generally more owed than owing.
Faith : You wanna' be smart, you
listen to me.
Angel : Funny thing about vampires, Faith... We don't
establish meaningful dialogue with Slayers.
Faith : Not how Buffy tells it.
Angel : I should've known you'd like it on top.
Faith : You wanna' listen, or you wanna' die?
Angel : Heh heh. As long as you're there, I mostly want you
to wriggle...but I'm listening.
Faith : So... can I keep him?
Buffy : Faith, we need to get out
of here, now.
Faith : Speak for yourself, B. Me? I like it here.
Angel : You know what I just can't
believe? All of our time together, and we never tried chains.
Faith : Bondage looks good on you, B. The outfit's all wrong,
but hey...
Faith : But Mom was so busy, you know, enjoying the drinking and
passing out parts of life that I never really got what I wanted.
Until now.
Buffy : Faith, listen to me.
Faith : Why? So you can impart some special Buffy wisdom?
Faith : I'll be sittin' at his
right hand. Assuming he has hands after the transformation.
I'm not too clear on that part. And all your little lame-ass friends
are gonna' be Kibbles and Bits.
Faith : I'm the world's best actor.
Angel : Second best.
C h o i c e s .
. .
Le Maire : So, you just take good
care of it. You be careful not to put somebody's eye out with that thing.
'Till I tell you to.
Faith : Got any particular eyes in mind?
Vampire : You killed him.
Faith : What are you, the narrator?
Vampire : That won't cut through steel.
Faith : No, but it'll cut through bone.
Le Maire : What happened to the courier? I was supposed to pay him.
Faith : I made him an offer he couldn't survive.
Le Maire : What?
Faith : Nothing.
Le Maire : Oh, it's 'cause I used the "B" word, huh?
Faith : Check out the bookworm.
Willow : Faith!
Faith : Anybody with brains, anybody who knew what was going to
happen to her, would be trying to claw her way out of this place. But you!
You just can't stop Nancy Drewing, can you? I guess now you know too much,
and that kind of just naturally leads to killing.
Faith : Oh yeah? Give me the speech
again, please. Faith, we're still your friends. We can help you. It's not
too late.
Willow : It's way too late. You know, it didn't have to be this way.
But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life. I know that some
people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you. You
know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had
friends in your life like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer
and now you're nothing. You're just a big selfish, worthless waste.
Faith : You hurt me, I hurt you. I'm just a little more efficient.
Willow : Aw, here I just thought you didn't have a come-back.
Willow : I'm not afraid of you.
Faith : Let's see what we can do about that.
Le Maire : Girls. I hope I don't have to separate you two. Faith,
you can play with your new toy later.
G r a d u a
t i o n D a y 1 . . .
Lester : I'll scream!
Faith : Who wouldn't?
Faith : Sorry, friend. The boss wants you dead.
Lester : Why?
Faith : You know, I never thought to ask.
Le Maire : And everything went smoothly with Mr. Worth?
Faith: Not if you're Mr. Worth.
Le Maire : Well, that's swell.
Faith : I feel wicked stupid in this.
Le Maire : You look lovely. Perfect for the Ascension. Any boys
that manage to survive will be lining up to ask you out.
Le Maire : I have to ingest several
of the inhabitants of this box.
Faith : Ingest?
Le Maire : Eat.
Faith : You're wicked gross.
Faith : Don't you need anyone dead or maimed? I could settle for
maimed.
Buffy :
What's the matter? All that killing, you afraid to die?
Faith : That's mine.
Buffy : You're about to get it back.
Faith : Man, I'm going to miss this. ... You did it. ... You killed
me. ... Still won't help your boy,though. Shoulda been there, B, quite a
ride.
G r a d u a
t i o n D a y 2 . . .
Faith : Miles to go. Little Miss
Muffet counting down from 7-3-0.
Buffy : Great. Riddles.
Buffy : Is this your mind or mine?
Faith : Beats me.
|
