| Soft Rain written: charlotte date: 7 November 2002 note: n. g. evangelion belongs to its original owners. kaworu x shinji. shounen-ai. story takes place after the eva series; my favourite k x s fiction. - - - - This place was warm, smelling of soap flakes and softener. It was also gray; gray tiles, gray steel machines, gray towels folded in silent squares upon a dryer that whirred softly. He was sitting on the chair, gaze unfocused as he listened to the washing machine give staccato thump thump thumps as the cylinder turned around around around. The deep blue eyes did not watch as white bubbles burst and hit the thick window of the machine, as a mess of dark colours slapped against one another in a blurred frenzy. Shinji had no need to watch. He had seen it for so many weeks now. Sitting up straighter, the boy listened to the murmur of talk around him, wishing he had a piece of gossip for himself so that he could hoard it, basking in the small satisfaction it would bring him. If he had some secret, it would mean something had happened in his life, something worth smiling about, something worth holding in his palms like a treasure. But this was impossible to imagine. With a sigh, Shinji glanced idly out the large glass windows beside him. Rain drops were slipping down the glass, leaving those shimmering trails. They were soft liquid things with such beauty, and he suddenly reached out to touch one. The cold glass window forbade him to though, and as Shinji cocked his head with a peaceful smile, was content to trace their elegant movements with his index finger as they continued to fall against the pane.� Ding. The wash was done. * * * A red door. Strange, the boy thought as he looked up at it. It did not fit the owner. Red was a colour of passion, of love, of hate, of vibrant life. And then it came to him. Blood. Memories of the past. Ah, it made sense now, he thought again as his lips gave a smile.� The boy with striking crimson eyes stepped through the wood and into the small apartment with ease. Just like him, Kaworu thought as he glanced around. The walls were virtually unadorned, leaving large pale blue walls to loom over dull wooden floors and simple furnishings. Wandering around calmly, his hands in his pockets, Kaworu took in everything, all the details that made up pieces of Shinji. Cds stacked haphazardly in a corner, a small television, a comfortable white couch with pillows, a worn blue rug lying upon the chilly floor; a kitchen was just past the living room, a square thing with barely space for one person to move about in. Walking back toward the bedroom, the boy passed the bathroom, a lump of damp towels on the toilet. Kaworu entered Shinji's bedroom and immediately moved to the bed. The covers were thick and soft and ivory, and he ran a hand over the material. The chocolate haired boy's scent was all around, the angel noticed. He smelled of mint it seemed. Standing still in the middle of the room, the pale boy closed his eyes peacefully. "Shinji." Kaworu's quiet voice floated throughout the house. "I have come home." * * * Hoisting his backpack full of warm, dry clothes onto his shoulders, Shinji began his walk back to his apartment. His reflection joined him on this walk, watching the boy who was always alone. It had been three years. NERV was nothing but something from the past, as were the rest of the people he had come into contact with in those chaotic times. He didn't know what had happened to most of his friends and colleagues after the world as he knew it had ended. Misato was alive, living with an attractive man who brought in a good income. She was the one who had secured Shinji's apartment and had paid for the first three months of rent while he searched for a job, which currently was working in a small bookshop not far away. Asuka had returned to Germany. He knew nothing about his father, Ritsuko, NERV employees. Nor did his care. He did wish to know what happened to Rei. Did she disappear into air as if she had never existed, or had she begun to make a life for herself in the real world? And Kaworu... His heart ached, and he brushed his thoughts away before they enveloped him further. With a side glance, Shinji caught his reflection gazing back at him in the wide windows of a coffee shop. His dark locks were dripping with clear liquid, his peach skin now coloured with patches of white and pink in the cold. Licking his lips, his tongue tasted the salty rain that ran down his skin, and he turned once again toward his destination. The weather was growing bitter, wishing to sting and bite now. Shinji kept his small hands tucked into his jacket pockets as he continued to trudge home. It was only two more blocks away, yet the rain seemed to make the time drag, and the world was growing more blurry. Stopping at the crosswalk, stamping his feet in vain to bring some sort of warmth to his body, he stared at the crosswalk signal across the street, urging it to change. It pointedly ignored him for another two minutes before flicking on the glowing picture of a man. He didn't hear it coming as he stepped off the concrete. He didn't see it coming as he moved forward. A car horn blared in panic, tires squealed as the brakes were slammed. Suddenly, Shinji's wide eyes were staring into two bright lights and instinctively he turned his body before he froze on the street. Pain ripped through his body a moment later, a cry came from his throat, and the car sliced past him, slamming him to the ground with a thud. And then everything stopped. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" The frantic chant came from the woman who had been driving, her blonde hair frizzing in the rain as she rushed toward the fallen boy. "Is he dead? Oh my gosh! Someone! Help! Oh my gosh!" A couple rushed to the scene; he could feel the ground moving beneath his head as they ran, as a car passed, as he began to shake. "Don't touch him. Bones may be broken," a man said. A girl was speaking into her cell phone for an ambulance to come. "Hey, can you hear me? Kid?" The ground was solid, tearing into his side. Shinji's mouth tasted of bile, or was it blood? Head throbbing, body soaked through with hard rain, he lay there wishing for the end. Why did fate have to do a half-assed job on him? Couldn't he be totally dead instead of whatever this was? In limbo hell maybe. "I didn't even see him! He blended in with the rain! Oh my gosh, this is going on my record isn't it?" She was talking too loudly, but he never made a sound. Could he wish himself to die? No, that hadn't worked in the past. Damn it. "The ambulance is here!" It was the girl's yell. Shinji was still curled into himself, his body numb as it tightened and stretched and made him grit his teeth as his stomach rolled. Warm. Something warm. Shinji began to breathe again, sucking in air and rain as he opened his mouth. He listened to himself finally cry out in agony. A hand was against his cheek, stroking gently. Confusion was all around; his body seemed to have exploded, yet there was someone inches away that was calm. Shinji willed himself to open his eyes. He cried out again, disbelief mixed in with a searing pain in his side. This sure as heck couldn't be what Heaven was like, yet there He was, red eyes gazing down at him. And then his body was lifted by careful hands as his mind faded to black. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?" A policeman shouted suddenly. He was surrounded by the small group of medical personnel that had appeared from the ambulance. The large crowd gathered on the sidewalk grew quiet. Kaworu calmly turned to address the group in the street. "He's mine. I'll take care of him." "Listen kid..." The tall medic's brow furrowed as he hesitated. He had taken a step forward then stopped. The white aura shimmering around the silver haired boy was unnatural, and he had never seen ruby eyes such as those before. The others seemed to feel it as well, and they too were unmoving. Kaworu smiled once again before seeming to disappear into the misting air. The blond haired driver could only gasp breathlessly. "Oh my gosh..." * * * His sense of hearing was returning slowly, sounds once heard in fuzzy patches now began to flow more clearly into his mind. He knew that voice, had never forgotten it. The voice was speaking quietly with bursts of cottony whispers in between as they moved. Shinji's eyelids were heavy, his side aching profusely. But he was so warm. He didn't know he sighed against Kaworu's collarbone, the feather-like puff of air causing the angel to grin as he was carried up the steps and into his apartment. "Relax, Shinji," murmured Kaworu gently into the boy's ear. "You're safe with me." He had brought the broken body into the bedroom, laying Shinji within the tangle of soft blankets upon the bed. Quickly, he began to remove the sopping clothing, smears of dirt coming off on the clean ivory. The dark haired boy groaned as he wrestled between consciousness and the black place he was in. His bare skin prickled at the sudden cold, but the chill was soon replaced by strong hands that ran over his skin with care. Kaworu examined the wounds, noticing that they were not as damaging as they looked. The car had hit Shinji on his left side, his hip, waist, some rib, leaving deep, rough scratches but no broken bones. It must have grazed him then, thought Kaworu as his fingers flitted over the badly bruised skin. At the angel's touch, golden spots appeared, melting into the body with light healing. "I may have the power to heal the outside, but what of your heart within?" Red eyes gazing sadly down at the pale face, Kaworu scooped up the naked boy, brought him to the bathroom, and laid him in the porcelain tub. Shinji began to stir again, lids fluttering awake as the warm water tickled his trembling body. "Kaworu... Kaworu..." His tongue continued to taste that name over and over. He listened to it echo pleasantly against the walls of the bathroom and above the rush of running water. He had known immediately whose touch was there while on curled on the hard street. He didn't know how, but something within him did. Shinji forced his blue eyes open then. "Shh..." the angel said calmly as Shinji took a breath. "I'm right here, love." "Kaworu," Shinji whispered. "You're going to be okay, Shinji. The vehicle did very little damage, considering. You need to get clean and warm though." Kaworu rarely spoke so seriously, and Shinji just stared wide eyed as the pale boy began to wash him with tender care as if he were a small child. Following that, Shinji realized his own nakedness and bowed his head in embarrassment as his cheeks bloomed pink. As his temples began to pound with pain again, he concentrated on the sharp scent of peppermint that floated to his nostrils and permeated the steamy air. Shinji started as Kaworu patted the wash cloth down his left side, his hip giving him sudden pain. "I'm sorry," Kaworu said quickly as he leaned backwards slightly. "Did you know the accident would happen?" Shinji lifted his head painfully to look at the pale boy. The crimson eyes went soft as Kaworu smiled and tucked a hand beneath Shinji's chin. "I return from the grave to you, and you ask me such silly questions." The blue eyed boy flushed again. "I know many things..." Kaworu whispered as his mouth caught Shinji's lips. It was a sweet kiss as their mouths moved together for just a moment, the world still and silent around them. The angel broke away first, slowly releasing Shinji's moist lips. "I thought I had killed you." Shinji's whisper was hoarse. "I saw your body break..." � "No tears for me, Shinji," Kaworu said in a quiet voice. "Things may happen in this world that are beyond one's understanding. But, I am here with you now, and I have no plans to leave this time." The pair sat amidst the thick air, silence between them as they stared at each other. Shinji finally spoke. "I think I need to go to bed." "With me?" Kaworu's eyes sparkled. He had remembered his line. Shinji's mouth quirked in weary amusement. He decided to tweak the script this time. "Yes, with me." * * * As the pair moved back into the bedroom, Shinji was surprised to find that his body was no longer in massive pain, and that he could pull on his sleep pants fairly easily, only wincing twice. He took a lucky guess that Kaworu probably possessed some sort of supernatural healing powers. Glancing at the pale boy across the room, who was undressing himself for bed, Shinji was amazed to think that this angelic being who could defeat brutal death could love a lost soul such as him. Sniffling back foolish tears, the blue eyed boy straightened and watched as Kaworu walked toward him. "Come," Kaworu said with a light smile as he held out his hand. Shinji's palm met Kaworu's and they moved to the bed, Kaworu climbing in first and tugging Shinji in. With a slight gasp, Shinji landed upon a white body, and the voice from it began to chuckle pleasantly. And then, Kaworu sobered, becoming thoughtful. "Do not fear me, or anything you feel, Shinji. I was afraid that you were dying, but I believe that you've just not had the chance to express the emotions hidden within your heart for so long and they frighten you." "Am I that transparent?" Shinji asked shyly, his finger tentatively running across the angel's pale cheek. As Kaworu leaned up, he whispered with a grin, "Yes, love," and kissed Shinji once again. Warmth spread through Shinji's body as he responded to the kiss, and he let his body relax against the smooth skin beneath him. With a deep breath, Shinji finally pulled away, crimson spots favoring his cheeks. So beautiful... Kaworu thought to himself. I fear you do not recognize your own beauty... nor understand the things that I love within you... Slipping to rest upon the cool sheets, Shinji tucked his body against the angel's, wrapping his arm loosely around Kaworu's chest. He was listening to a heartbeat. Bump bump bump. He wished to speak forever with the boy next to him, to talk until dawn, and then watch the sun spread like butter upon a pale face and set silver hair aglow. But his body was heavy with fading pain, with daily fatigue. Pat pat pat. He listened to the falling rain, how soft it sounded now, a lulling beat, observed the shadows of falling tears against the wall in the dark room. "You'll be here in the morning, right Kaworu?" The cobalt eyes were closed, his voice a bit timid as he fought the negative thoughts in his mind that maybe this was all a concoction of his mind, of wishful dreaming that the one person he truly cared for was here with him. Kaworu's voice was warm, his eyes glowing. "Always." And the rain continued to fall. [end] |