Nifty-ness~Sunday, August 27th, 2006~
I shouldn't keep up with this online blog anymore. Not on this site. Nobody but me views it, so that's pretty dumb. I'm gonna try and make a new LJ. Ja Ne!
Does Love count as Ignorance?~Thursday, August 17th, 2006~
"Hold me close, sway me more"...
I'm so young, and so full of lazy-youth energy. I have a whole life ahead of me and such great plans for the future. I can really go the distance if I try. I know I'm somewhat smart, and a mediocre writer. So why am I dwelling on the pathetic crushes that I'm missing out on? I'm starting to question whether dating-celibacy is the way to go. How am I ever going to be able to go for the one I love in the future if I have no experience? People are like Pokemon; they level up from experience. I have no experience, none! But I just don't see the point of dating if it's not someone I'm atleast fooled into thinking I love.
Goddamn you Michael Buble and your intoxicating lyrics! That fanfiction I read doesn't really help either...
Maybe it's just the mood that's set by my music and readings. Still, though, it's those little flaming thoughts that could burn the whole forest down. One little drop of the match and all those logical dried up sticks burn to ash and take down the whole forest, and even the wild life! Next thing you know, malls and complex buildings are built and your entire once beautiful mind is polluted and on it's way to global and corrupt suicide without even noticing it.
.......
Er, y'know, it's all just a metaphor. A really big metaphor. *sweatdrop* Oh well, I'll get over it in due time. I always do. I just have to stop reading SasuNaru Romance fanfics and listening to Michael Buble at the same time.
You've gotta be kidding me...~Thursday, August 3rd, 2006~
I'm so penniless...I wish I had money. I'm an Otaku, see, and my kind thrives on anime and manga and all things Japanese. This all costs money. And if you don't have money than your best bet is the internet and/or your parent or guardian. I rely on the internet 'cause I don't like to bug for things. The internet allows you only to do so much ;-; So! In September I'm going to be submitting stories to Chiascuro (I think that's how you spell it) Magazine...Maybe. I dunno if they'll accept my stuff because me and that Magazine don't live in the same country. Also, in December, I'm going to get a job.
With life I've grown...restless. I want to do something that people will notice. I don't mean my family. I wouldn't want THEM to notice. I mean something that total strangers would praise me for. Of course, I'd use an alias. But, y'know, the point is I know it's me that they're saying "Oh, you're (insert word/s of praise here)" to. I want to do a webcomic but I don't have a scanner or Paint Shop or anyone to help me with the background images. I want to start my own advice column, but heh, we all know that wouldn't work. I also wanted to make Sleep Walker's Nightmare into some e-zine and have other people send in stories, but no. If I'm going to submit pieces into Chiascuro, then what's the point? *sigh*
Oh well, oh well. I'll figure something out in due time. Seems like it's all going to happen during this school year. That means half of me wants to go, half of me doesn't. The latter half is the stronger half by the way. It'll be conquered, though, because school will be the time I'm going to do more in one year than I ever did. (Like getting ready for...OTAKON, 2007!)
"That's why a bear can rest at ease"~Monday, July 24th, 2006~
You know what I'm really sick of? I've been sick of it for a long time, and now I'm actually gonna say something.
Not having an ad on Google for this blog.
Just kidding! Actaully, I'm sick of this whole "Oh woe be me, so sad!" It's on all the forums, and everybody seems sad. Okay, yeah, sadness is a natural part of life and you wanna express it. And because sadness is SO easy to express and relate to people would much rather wallow in their own pity and self-deprivement. Y'know what I say to all that horse-shit? It can burn in hell. Except it won't, 'cause the Devil knows that's what it wants. So instead they'll have their black hair dyed blonde, their dreary clothing shredded and replaced with pony and unicorn costumes, and be shoved in a room with the Teletubbies, the Wiggles, and BARNEY.
Juba feels sad sometimes, too. But she moves on! Smiles are much more fun to remember than frowns. Look at them poor kids over in Nigeria. They're rib-cages poke out so much they could stab someone's eyes out! Their parents are most likely dead, they have so many diseases. Why the hell should people who have enough money to shop at Hot Topic complain about the shit they go through? Oh, boo-hoo, your Mom and/or Dad don't pay attention to you? Or maybe they beat you? Do something about it! Someone doesn't like you or you're an outcast? Deal with it. Do you expect everyone to accept you and love the crap outta you? Ha! What, are you not going to live until you're 30?
"BUT JUBA! It's so hard, those times!" Who the fuck cares? You know why it is? 'Cause you're too much of an idiot to stop thinking about it. Unless you have a good fuckin' excuse as to why you pity yourself so much, shut your pie-hole and move on. I'm tired of hearing people complain about dumb-ass issues. I'm tired of hearing about horrible things such as how somone got raped. If you're not going to do anything about it then go jump off a bridge and hope you drown. Obviously, you're not strong enough to handle the emotional pain of life.
Crock Pot~Monday, July 17th, 2006~
Yeah, I can't believe it either. I'm updating! In like...near two months...
Well, things have happened, that's for sure.I can't believe how much people can change. It's surprising, nearly shocking. You can't do anything about it either. All you can say to them is what you think about their change, whether you like it or not, and hope they listen. And depending on how they think, they just might. I have a feeling that the person who's changed won't listen and is doomed to live a life full of crap. When they're older they'll regret the things they've done and dread on the past. I don't want that to happen. I don't care if that person is mad at me forever. I told them what I thought, though maybe not all. I told them as much as I could over instant messages (I type slow and am horrible at conveying my feelings in words). I hope they understand. If they don't...Well, I guess I'm the only one who does, I guess.
People change for the better, people change for the worse. This person whom of which I care about much, has been with me through thick and thin, who taught me how to act, has changed for the worse and it's somewhat depressing. But if they want to continue living how they are what am I gonna do about it? Gag that person and brain-wash them into being a better person? No, I can't do that. Brain-washing machines are EXPENSIVE. I wish I had the money to do that. I don't, though. So the most I can do is tell this person what I think and how I feel. I did that already. There's nothing more I can do.
I don't think they'll listen to me and think about what I've said.
So now what am I to do? Well, so far I've got only one option that I can think of. Just drift away from this person and let them ruin themself. It's not right, and it's hard to do it. But what else am I suppose to do? Crash with this person? No, I can't. There's no sense in that. I'll just have to let go.
I'm so sorry I can't do anything else...
I Consult Thee, O Wise Genie!~Monday, May 22nd, 2006~
I want to do something, so I've been looking some things up online and have come up with nothing. The only thing I can think of is taking up two jobs in the summer. Watching Anthony all summer, all day and writing some very short pieces for a magazine. Of course, it would be a horror magazine. I'll be making money at least, but I want to do something else. Like...I dunno. Just be in the presence of other people and get out of MY house. Y'know, it's times like these I wish I had more awesome friends that could swing by my place and vice versa.
Anyway, I really don't know what to say besides I love jazz and swing and think I might be failing school.
How Wonderful~Thursday, May 4th, 2006~
"Once upon a time there was a little boy named Jimmy who had many faults and very little good attributes. He wasn't clever, but still kept up his grades high enough. He was lazy, but still did his chores. He wasn't good looking, but he was decent. Although he had his rude moments, he was fairly quiet and very respectful and polite to others. All in all, he wasn't the type of child to be noticed a lot. He wanted and craved attention, and would try to start a conversation with his older sister and Mother sometimes. Despite his efforts, they didn't notice him much.
One day, he realized that he felt sad because of how his Mother and Sister treated him. He thought it wasn't right for them to be so mean. His sadness was quickly growing into anger, but he dismissed both emotions. Being mad or sad wouldn't help. So, he'd just pretend everything was alright until it was time for him to move away.
As he was carrying the pail of water from the well that was on the other side of the road, he was trampled by two horses carrying a wagon full of bricks. The wheels ran over him, too. Jimmy was crushed, bleeding, and dead.
To this day, near the well, you can see a little boy smiling a fake smile. Every once in a while he'll shed a tear, instantly pouring the bucket of water over his face so you wouldn't notice, and running away."
I just thought I'd write something. It's based on stuff that happened to me, except I don't cry and I was never run over o.o
I'm supposed to get my hair cut shorter for the summer, and I want a snazzy style, but that's not gonna work. I have terrible fashion sense. So, I'm just gonna get my hair evened and have my bangs trimmed.
Slap a sticker saying 'Emo in Denial' on mah Forehead~Thursday, May 4th, 2006~
I feel so betrayed. Not like 'gasp, my muffin!' kind of betrayed. More like people are talking to me and pretending to like me because they think they have to. I just wanna cry because of that. But if I do, everyone would be all 'are you okay?' and would never shut up. Eve would call me a cry baby, and Aunt Chrissy would sound all concerned and never let go of that fact that I cry. Then, it would all go back to that yeah-sure-that's-nice attitude.
Whenever I try to start a conversation, it's always shrugged off or ignored or changed. It's like whenever I say something, people pay no mind to it. Unless, y'know, it's something they could bash me on. Occasionally, yes, I do say witty things that earn a laugh and the words 'you're (so) funny'. That's not what I want to hear anymore, though. I want to hear words of interest in what I have to say.
Whatever, I s'pose. I'll be older soon, and nothing will be much of a bother then. Hopefully, I'll be long gone in the next 20 years or so.
I'm thinking that if Psychology fails as a nice plan for me in the future, I'll go with chemistry. Chemistry is really amusing and interesting.
But it burns my Retinas.~Saturday, April 29th, 2006~
I don't even know what retinas are, I just know they're a part of your eyes...
My Aunt's anal about having the light on when I'm on the computer and it's KIND OF dark. She says she's trying to save on her electricity bill anyways. Why must she bug for the light to be on? Bright lights annoy the crap out of me. They also make me angry sometimes, because they're so annoying and bright.
I can't believe it's the weekend. I just can't believe it. I want to be in school right now. I don't know why, I just do. I guess it's because I don't like being at home anymore. At home, I crave to be alone and never am. If I were to sit in the living room in the dark with some MSI playing, people would bug me and ask if I'm okay. Then, after I say I am, they'll pester me some more and keep bugging me about whether I feel okay or not. If I'm alone, I can do seemingly-depressing things without anybody questioning my emotional welfare. At least when I'm at school I'm forcefully surrounded by strangers. I think that's better than being at home with people.
"OMGKATIEAREYOUGAY?!?!?!"~Tuesday, February 7th, 2006~
"Because only GAAAAAAY people screen their Phone calls..."
So, um, I just got off the phone with my Mom, and guess what she asked? Yeah, if I was gay. So guys are ugly and I like pretty and am obsessing over Mana and Miss Kaori Yuki? I am now into girls? Though some teenagers go through a stage of whether they like the opposite sex, that does not mean that they completely or at all dig the same gender as they are. Some turn out bi, some turn out homosexual, and some turn out straight. But....After my explaining (or talking to myself, mainly) about how much gold I need on Gaia, the conversation should not take a sudden turn into 'Are you gay' land. I'm thirteen years old. How should I know? All I know right now is is that I like guys and I like pretty things/people.
On another, not gay note, kids suck ass and will burn in hell when they die because they were horrible, horrible children. For example, today in class some stupid child who looked like a semi-slutty 16 year old made a big deal about using the bathroom. Apparently, the classroom caused her bladder to fill up with magic water and demand to be emptied. She talked back, didn't do as told, yelled, and then threatened to bring her mother into the whole mess. Good luck with that, dumbass. But, because of her behaviour, the other children thought, 'Oh, well, I'm all that, a bag of chips, and soy sauce, too!' and listened to nothing they were told to do regarding to work and keeping their dumbass mouths shut. One girl, a girl I knew from fifth grade named Hannah, who is also a little back-stabbing bitch who is as evil and horrendous and deceiving as a child her age may be, decided to be childish and pick on Trinity, who is a good friend to me. Or, if not friend, person atleast. Hannah told the class to raise their hand if they thought Trinity a poser. A VAST majority of the class raised their hands and caused poor Trinity to cry. She asked if she could go to the restroom so she may gather herself together and wash her face. She didn't say that out loud, but that's what she was most likely to do. Some asshole near me started to complain and whine why SHE got to go to they bathroom and they didn't.
I am forced to draw this conclusion about kids and my mother:
-Kids are petty little nuisances that are good for nothing whatsoever besides to pick on, humiliate, and fall prey to the horrible cruelty of their fellow, close- minded classmates.
-My Mom is stupid.
Oh yeah, and I moved in with my Aunt Chrissy last week. Started school last thursday.
There's no snow...~Thursday, January 4th, 2006~
How am I supposed to drown myself in the snow IF THERE IS NO SNOW?! Eh, that's a good thing, though. Yay! No snow. Just lotsa lotsa barely existent rain...
Off of weekend visits with my Mom...We're back to one hour office visits. Which means I'm not going back with my Mom anytime soon....
....This isn't much an entry...
Mm, and I have to write some story about drugs for Language Arts. But I write horror, so this'll be hard seeing as it's all positive and stuff...
Whoop?~Thursday, December 29th, 2005~
Christmas went okay. Didn't really care though. I got things, but not really what I wanted badly. I really mostly wanted manga...Michi got Soul Caliber 3 and I play that alot. I do pretty well for a little girlie with no gaming skillz. Got through about eight charas in two days.
New Years is coming up- whoo! But, then I have to go back to school. Oh well, it's boring here anyways. Yay school, kinda!
I really don't know what to say, though...So...
BRAND SPANKIN' NEW! BUY IT NOW!!~Saturday, December 24th, 2005~
Merry Tomorrow-Is-Christmas, bitches.
I hate this holiday....It's supposed to be about the birth of Christ, so I have no idea what the hell some obese 'magical' man who goes around giving out presents to all the good little boys and girls of the world in one night has to do with THE BIRTH OF CHRIST! Great, let's just make that piece of crap religion Christianity even more corrupt than it already is.
JUDAISM AND MUSLIM ARE THE ONLY TWO RELIGIONS THAT ARE ALLOWED TO BE MONOTHEISTIC! Dammit....
As Mich puts it, 'Christ is the son of Satan'. Don't ask me how, ask her.
Anyways, yes, lots of new things. New crushes, new episodes, new Gaia layouts. New material items, a new year....Yay, change. I like change. Lots of new stuff is coming up. I like that. I like that alot.
EXCEPT FOR THOSE DAMN SCANLATION SITES! They never update...Never....S-C.net- Nothing. Omanga- Nothing. Mochi*Mochi- NOTHING! ;_; Oh the sadness. I would look for new Scan sites, but I don't think I'll find any.
I need to call Chelsie...We have a project due as soon as we get back to school, and I never called her so we could make arrangements to work on it. It's a commercial. OH-EM-GEE! I procrastinate far too much, yo.
I Made An Entry But Didn't Like It, So I Deleted It And Made This New One~Saturday, December 17th, 2005~
I has a new obsession. 'Tis the ever-so-beautiful cross dressing Mana. HE'S SO PRETTY! Better lookin' that nasty Rupaul dude...*shudder* Rupaul's not as fun to look at. Mana is the lead singer of Malice Mizer, and I love the pictures he takes. He has such a girly body.
From 12.19.05-1.2.06 I don't have school. Winter Break, y'know? And that's always good, because then I don't have to wake up early every morning. Or, atleast every morning for the next two weeks. Yay~! I will regret the day I must return to school T_T
Ooooh, there's so much noise >.<
K.Thx.Bai.~Wednesday, December 14th, 2005~
OMGWTF?! I didn't know Gaia had a store that offered OMG and AFK hats, Gaia Corp. T shirts, and Ki Ki Kitty and Grunny Bunny Plushies! *sob* If I'd known that, I would have asked for that for Christmas...But, so, now I know. Next Christmas- Money, money, money! 'Cause I want those, or atleast one of them, and GOTHIC LOLITA OUTFITS! HELL YEAH! But not Elegant Lolita, Classic Lolita. Clasic Lolita looks better.
Mer, I have homework...
Yeah, so, there's this kid named Christopher in my class ^_^;;. Ha, he's so cute. I think he might like me too. Though, I don't think so. Whenever he and I look at eachother at the same time, he looks away. But that's probably because he either likes Stephanie who is about two seats in front of me, or he probably thinks I'm weird and is trying to figure out why I keep looking at him. It's one of the two, I'll bet...'Cause I don't think he likes me...D;
AAAAARRRGH! I'm so bored when I get on the computer now-a-days...But I still get on it anyways, since I always have nothing better to do.
HEAD OUT TO JAPAN, MEN/WOMEN!~Tuesday, December 13th, 2005~
Haha, I didn't go to school today. My Aunt didn't wake me up, is why.
In Japan, they do celebrate Christmas. But not how we do. We American People celebrate it by spending time with our families, giving and receiving gifts from/to one another. Blah, blah, blah. Not in Japan, no. They get dressed up and all, but it's more a couples thing. On Christmas day, couples go out and buy kinky little Female Santa outfits and have fun with their boyfriend/husband. Kids are dropped off with their single, sad Aunt, while their Mommies and Daddies go out to the movies, go out to eat. So, yeah. It's a couple's fun time.
Your Girlfriend would look like this. How Hot, No?
Your Boyfriend woudl look like this. So..That's not as good...I would be scared to have sex date that...
Wow, the girls are good lookin', but the guys aren't...Oh Well, it's still sex LOVE.
Today, 3 Teenagers were found dead~Sunday, December 11th, 2005~
Ho'gosh, it's only the eleventh? Dammit...It hasn't been very long since last I updated, yet it feels like a month...Why does time hate me so?
Anyways- FAIRY WHISPERS GOT A MAKE OVER! I love this new layout. It features Noodle from the band Gorillaz. Did you know, though, that the Gorillaz is actually three geeky lookin' guys who came up wit animated people that would sell? Yupp..And Noodle is the coolest. THANK YOU MICHI! YOU'RE TEH MOST AWESOMEST ASAIN GANGSTA EMO EVER!
Well, nothing has really happened since last I made an entry...So...
Oh yeah, Mich also made me this kickass avatar. Yay~!
Eew, Christmas..~Friday, December 2nd, 2005~
Christmas is almost here, as is the end of 2005. That means I will delete some entries. Or I could do it now. I dunno..I think I will.
I wonder if my cousin will make me a new layout for the new year. I'd call it .::dRAwN.:iN.::TEcHniCoLOUr::. and it might feature Noodle. But I don't know.
I get to meet my Mom's new boyfriend tomorrow. He better hide his cigarettes, 'cause if I find them I'll break them. And he'd better smoke outside. I don't know what I'd do if he didn't, but I can wing it.
In A Nutshell- Blah~Monday, November 28th, 2005~
>headpopsoff< Grrrr, noooo.
Sleep Walker has a new Horror Story. I'm trying to work on getting a romance/fantasy started, but I'll start working on it this weekend when I get to my Mom's. That'll be fun.
I want to talk to Andrew...
Oh yeah, new school sucks ass. Too BIG. It's raining...Yay~! Maybe if I'm lucky, the school will get flooded.
I Can't Believe I Can put My Hair In A Pony-Tail xD~Friday, November 25th, 2005~
Yesterday, I could barely tell it was Thanksgiving...I ate stuffing, mashed potatoes, and turkey with some cranberry sauce and said Happy Thanksgiving to people. That's about as close to Thanksgiving as I got. Otherwise, to me, psh..Well, I saw Resident Evil Two: Apacolypse. It was really good. Hrm..Amittyville Horror, the revamped version, sucked though...
Last night I had fun, too. Took a nap from 9:30 PM to about eleven PM. About 11:45 I talked to some people that I hadn't talked to in a long time. That made me really happy ^.^
Erm, right then. This morning/afternoon- Lots of cleaning...Got five dolla for that. Now my Mom's bathroom looks nice and clean. Whoop-whoop! I'm such a good kid. YES, KID!
Eew, Christmas shopping started OFFICIALLY today. So..Run on off and spend loads of money on toys! And clothes and all that other stuff. God, I'm not ready for this. I'm seriously not...I don't want Christmas to come. The only good thing I get out of it is that I get to get out of school for a little while. Otherwise...There is no such thing as Christmas anymore. Now...GO SHOP, DAMMIT!
Would You Care For A Cigar?~Thursday, November 24th, 2005~
That's right, today IS Thanksgiving. Mmm, do I smell greed? By golly, I think I do! Thanksgiving is basically a reminder that the Indians are held in a Reservation like animals or something because the Pilgrims took their land unjustly.
Here's how they did it:
Pilgrim Man: Why, there are Natives on this land!
Indian Man: Hello, welcome to our humble land. We are peaceful people who don't like to harm others and like to hash it up.
Pilgrim Man: Hmm...Let's be friends.
Indian Man: Yes, that sounds wonderful! I know, let's have a wonderful feast to celebrate you kind people landing here and meeting us. My people will teach you how to survive by fishing and planting seeds and all that snazzy jazz!
*joy*
Pilgrim Man: Ha, this is so cool! I now know so much! *pulls out a gun and shoots Indian Man*
Indian Man: LYK OMG!!! WTF?!11!11?/?? U TOTLY JOST SHOT ME U ASS HOLE!
Pilgrim Man: I know! That's so cool! Now all your land is belong to us! *evil cackle*
The Indians, who thought the Pilgrims to be their friends, now reside on Reservations and own all the casinos in the USA and maybe some other countries while hating white men and do not celebrate Thanksgiving. While they do that, we the people, who are not Indians, do celebrate Thanksgiving and rub the fact that we took away their land in their faces by having a parade and football games and lots of food.
Also, tommorrow is going to be hell. People are going to be rushing to the stores to get some shopping done for Christmas. *sigh* How sad...
Negro, Please~Sunday, November 20th, 2005~
So, here I am, just sitting here in front of my Mom's computer, when a thought strikes me across the face. Like getting bitch slapped after snorting about as much cocaine as Scar Face. That's when I realized...
I..Have cancer.
But it's not your regular cancer. It's the kind of cancer that is not easily cured. It slowly takes over your mind and makes you do things subconciously (<-- Whoa, big word- Thanks Google!). It's referred to by me as- Incurable-Really-Weird-Cancer-That-Isn't-Real-And-Is-Actually-Really-Big-Boredom.
The end.
What is THIIIIIIS?~Friday, November 18th, 2005~
Ho'shizzle. I haven't made an entry since- when, last year? Yes...In September. Well, I can't recall everything, that's for sure. But I can give you a quickie review. Things in Fischer went okay. I liked a guy who didn't like me and nobody else liked him. So, I gave up and no longer like him. Then, I went into Middle School. Hoover Middle School. They had 3 goths, 4 or 5 Emo kids. Maybe more. Then I realized that, with my new hat, I was (and still am) Asian Gangsta Emo. Mich is Pirate Gangsta Emo. Um...My Aunt Chrissy and Uncle Donald are getting a divorce. Because of that I am now living with my Aunt Lynnie. Aaaaaand, now I am going to a new school because my Uncle is moving out of his home. ^.^ I just got enrolled today. All four kids, my sister, Michi, Sean, and I, are home for the day.
I have a mentor lady who is really cool. Her name is VALLERIE. Do you have a mentor lady named Vallerie who is really cool? NO. So how them apples taste? Exactly! I no longer go to counseling, though, so she's not really bound to me for six months against her will anymore. Oh well, we're still going to see eachother.
Anyways, Michi and I went to the mall with her and had some fun. I saw Kayla and Cody, said Hi to them. We went to Hot Topic first to find some Ravenclaw shirt for Michelle but they didn't have it. Instead she got a Death Eater hat. Then we went to Forever 21 and I almost got a hat from there. But instead I got a white striped one from some other place. I can't remember what the place was called. But then I started comparing Michelle to some other kids, trying to find out who was more Emo. Then we got some frozen yogurt, which is really good.
Fo'shiggidy...~Thursday, September 1st, 2004~
Oh, oh, fun!...No , not really. Not a whole lot of fun happens. And when it does...Embrace it!...No, I don't what I'm talking about. If you want something that does make sense then read the paragraph below.
Right then. Today my Mentor Lady came over. She's okay. I s'pose....*looks around all Ninja like* Her name is..um..I don't remember XD! I don't! I think it was something like Melissa or something. Well, we went out for ice-cream and ended up getting a smoothie. Who can deny a smoothie? Not me, certainly. My Mentor Lady got a bottle of water and some sort of Slushie like thing. I talked alot and I know it. I heard myself. I heard Steve, too. He kept telling me to shut up, but I couldn't. My mouth just ran away...Ran away from the pain. But oh well. That's how I am.
As you an tell from my Current thing I am currently obsessed with going around in chats and saying that I'm 91 years old and looking for sex. I don't hit up the girls though. Only the boys. It's more satisfying that way. If they ask the right questions I say that I want a hot latino luvr. Then I'll say these exact words, "r u redy 4 me 2 sex u up now". It cracks me up.
Oh yeah, and Fairy Whispers is up again. Peace, homies.
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