| Race against time Bit by bit, my mind has a fit, Lying hear or when I sit. Slowly I loose a piece of me, The sun disappears and rain begins to fall And I feel like two inches tall No one can help me no one at all, I look high and low but all I seem to do is fall, The ladder of life seems too tall. See I�m only five five but I do strive to stay alive, My hearts in the right place it�s my mind that�s the race Bit I only can try to win if I begin That�s why some times I need someone to just step in To help me win 3-28-02 Parts of me Parts of me lock a door To just have another open Part of me wants love And the other need so be alone Part of me wants some one to hold And part of me pushes away Why is it nothing seems to stay? My heart is a thousand piece puzzle, Some people have a piece and some have stole And some just can�t figure what to do with the few they have So they give mine back or break it more, I hope some day this puzzle will be whole, Like life a circle, is round and has no end That�s how long I need a friend� 3-28-02 Sole control The pain I feel grows everyday, Stronger it builds as I decay, Tears fill the empty spots, Soon they will become rivers and lakes, I�m not sure how much I can take, Thoughts in circle my mind of my demise, Wishing some one will just realize the danger, This pain fills my mind and sole, Wish I could just let it go, but it holds on to my sole With total control 3-28-02 On the outside Alone, all I see is darkness Alone, in my room by my self Alone, I my own world Alone, with just me As I look inside the windows I see I�m on the outside, I try to call but no one will hear Because it�s just me out hear 3-28-02 As I ponder I�m so gifted, and no one sees Why do I try, I guess just to please Parents have so much hope, They wish I wouldn�t mope, �Thank god they say she�s not on dope�. Days get longer, they hope I get stronger But lately I ponder what I have become. I look in the mirror and I shutter with fear of what I see. In my eyes, I don�t see the mask I where, out side. The mask that hides the feelings inside, Of who I am and the hell I feel in inside. That not even words can begin to describe The pain that dwells inside. 3-28-02 Worth the effort I just need a hand to hold, and a bit of mind control And some day I�ll be all right, the fight will be long but Well worth the effort, the sole wrenching pain will be gone And I�ll be who I once was and should have been the whole time. 2-28-02 Friends forever Mickey Dee and me My best friend and me She�s been there till the end Mickey Dee has stayed with me, Through thick and thin, grin after grin Hard ship and pain we�ve stayed the same Sister to sister friend and foe like friends should grow And she�s like no other friend I will ever know.. I love you sis 3/28/02 Two places I�m not sure any more When I look into the mirror If the face I see is really me My beliefs of me are so unsure All the dreams I had, I see made me so glade And it�s all I�ve ever had, are dreams! Reality to me just isn�t the same as it use to be, The face that looks back isn�t the same as it once was or who I�d like it to be. Darkness shadows me; sadness closes in on me, not letting it be me. Who I really am and would like to be, The mirror really dose have two faces, Some times I live in two places, Reality and me� 3-25-02 Sometimes Sometimes I feel, I have more sense in my pocket then in my head, And some times I wish I were dead, Some times I believe I�m better and Sometimes I just need to write a letter. Wishing my life was easy to understand and better planed And my heart wasn�t such a demand, Praying some day someone will just understand� 3-25-02 Dark cavern As tears run down my reddened face, I understand the sadness once again. The pain over takes me, the fear shatters me, and the loneliness makes me weak. I weep in my sorrow, and live another day, not totally understanding why I must feel this pain. Inside a deep dark cavern begins to emerge, filled with fear, pain, anger and remorse. 3/25/02 All I feel is fear Lost to a world that doesn�t understand Lost to a life that I can not live Betrayed by myself All pretend to understand, yet will truly never know All alone, I am sadden at what I see, yet cannot fix Pain over whelming, over barring, and alone I walk this road alone Needing just a hand to hold, a heart to love and some how be bold Living a life that was not meant to be, just wanting to be free Anger inside which I must hide, pain in my eyes, which will always show A sadness which has transformed me to someone I do not know. This sadness goes deep below, into my sole, in which I cannot control. Digging my own grave, hoping I will behave, wishing for the end to be near. All I feel is fear. 3/25/02 Darkness As darkness falls upon the land Nighttime is at hand Creatures arise from the night Blood is what they demand Life, thy eternal life is what thy crave Rising out of thy own grave The taste on thy lips The hunger in thy eyes Sweet life She digs herself a shallow grave. Not unleashing what might be found, she lays her sweet head upon the ground, sleeping until the moon is around. As the night creatures are a slumber she too rests. Day brake is upon her. As the day sets into night once again, she rises from her eternal slumber, the chill of the night, awakes her, thrust over comes her, a blood lust is what she hungers. The taste of sweet life on her lips is what she craves. 8/23/01 By: Jennifer LOVE As I wonder through life, people and places leave impressions in my mind of days gone by. Of sadness and loss and love and happiness and pain and of sorrow and of joy and forgiveness. Memories of a first kiss and the softness of a kittens fur on my skin, of sun burnt skin from a summers day outing, of tears of loss of losing someone whom I once loved. Scared of what the future has in store, saddened of what I have lost, grateful for what I have today. These are things that are forever embedded in my mind as I wonder though life. Finding out the only thing that really matters in life is what I feel and how I make others feel. When a smile can clear up tears and joy is in there face, I have truly became a child of the earth, harming no one in my journey as I walk through life trying to remember what is most important. LOVE! By: Jennifer 7/15/2000 In the end My mind is open, my dreams are high Why wouldn't they let me try? You are as good as me, And I am as good as you, we stand on the same level, We stand at the same height, Why must we fight Because in the end We both win! Like a rose Love is like a rose, It blossoms as it grows, then it dies and fades away, and decays I am I am a dream, A dream you have not yet dreamt, A dream about love and happiness, I am a fragile instrument in which you play, I make wonderful music so you will be happy, I am your hear that beats true and fine, I am a song in which your heart has not yet sung, I am all of you! I am the goodness of love who shines her light and love on you, I am your true love, I show you the way, I am your angel from heaven above, I give you my love Never say hello one day of happiness, next day of sorrow, I'm saddened of the thought of tomorrow, the hatred, the violence, and the crime that live on our streets! Our children may be born but live in scorn at the hellish life we live. The thought of tomorrow brings sadness and sorrow; They say the next day will be brighter, that what they say! People come people go, no one has time to say hello. There�s crime on our street and few heartbeats, of the dead who lie on our streets. Walk down our blocks and you will see! We are not free! At family gatherings and picnics, in the background police cars and gunshots, we look away and pretend we did not hear. Because we are filled with something called fear! We shutter at night at of the thought one day, it might be us. Laying dead on our street with few heartbeats The bitter sky I sit alone, lost, confused, and frightened. Frightened of the future, and what it has in store. Scared of what torture it has agent me. The wind blows throw the tress, the dark night sky is cold and lonely, no one to hold, no one to understand freezing tears fall from my eyes. All I feel is bitter cold, chilled by the lostlessness of the dark scary sky. Not knowing what�s ahead frightened to turn back and felling of lostlessness, not knowing what to do or how, frightened for my life yet trying to be bold enough to walk on, sounds come from every where, voices, creeks and yells not knowing what they are or what they mean. I am lost! I am alone! I am me Cold Sole How can a sole be so cold and dark, and really love! I ask my self this. How can one say he loves, if he hurts the one's he says he loves! How dose one live with him self after doing and saying what he has. Dose one strive to be better or worse, is it a dream state or is it premedited. Dose one look at himself and smile? Or dose he hurt inside. I ask my self this. Is it an act of drunkenness or reality? My mind ponders at what he was thinking! How could he hurt someone so close and loving to him? Did he not realize the damage it could or had done! Thoughts swirl in my head, was it me how could it be I was so young. What did it prove? How could someone hurt someone so young? Someone so fragile, so loving how could some one hurt his own daughter! BY: Jennifer 2-19-2000 Anger There is an anger inside I can not hide Which only my words can revile There is an anger inside which many think is pride But really it�s fear Lashing back at the world that has hurt me A pain so dense it touches the sole of me This anger I feel takes control and never lets go But some day I see I can succeed 10-11-01 The silence The silence in your eyes scares me The shakiness in your voice shocks me The deepness in your heart intrigues me The touch of your skin drives me wild When you hold me I feel safe in your arms When you smile at me I feel the love you don�t show Your stir things in me I thought were lost long ago 10 � 10- 01 A sadness Sadness inside that I cannot hide It forbids me from ever being loved It controls my destiny and my fate This pain sends a chill through me Which nothing can melt my frozen heart This heart of ice has cracks and splits and broken pieces But yet it�s still frozen and waits for the moment of warmth Yet it knows it may never come My heart yearns for someone to love, to hold, and to care for And in return it will willingly gave back the same Tears of pain sting my face, falling like ice rain drops on hollowed ground The lonely wind sends chills through me Like nothing else around Minutes of the day One minute of pleasure The next minute of pain That is how I can only explain Tears of joy Tears of sorrow What shell come of tomorrow Lost within myself Voices I hear of my wealth and destruction Voices inside I wish to hide 10-12-01 I see forever I�ve looked all my life for a love that I could not find; Now I finally found you, Your arms are so warm and your voice is clear, I love when you hold me dear, I feel a safeness I�ve never felt; I feel a love unknown to my heart, I since peace. In your eyes I see forever. 11/21/02 for my Ex-boyfriend Jeff |
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