Everything seems so sad nowadays... I sit here, and music begins to softly play... And I am reminded strangely of tears and heartache...
Lately... Lately I seem to have no energy to do anything of import... Too weary to lift my head and greet the storm that rages outside. Everything seems so sad and gray, and I cannot seem able to pull myself out of it all. Sometimes I find myself closing my eyes...
I find myself many times looking at my old work... Old poetry and old stories... Everything from my life in the past. And it all seems so happy, so full of life. And I cannot help but remark how unlike me it is.
Have I changed so much?
Sometimes I just want to close my eyes, and give into the ever present darkness... And I do not know why I have not yet. There is a strange balance I am not yet aware of, and I know not what to think yet.
I never used to think about the darkness. I can remember simple days in the past. Composed of black and whites, no mixing to mar these lines. But now subtle shades of gray have penetrated, creating a sea of chaos in my present life.
I feel so dissapointed. For some reason I feel dissapointed in this world, although I have no expectations. Maybe everything just feels too old, too worn, too ready to die.
I think I may be scared... Of what I do not yet know... But it lurks without purpose in the darkness.
Many times I say to myself "Sometimes..." or "Maybe..." but I never seem to be able to continue the train of thought.
