Her eyes slowly gazed outwards, roving the darkness floating around in wisps like clouds. All about her the darkness seemed to play like the waves of a peaceful ocean. Back and forth the wisps would move, gently leaving only to return again. The darkness seemed so pure and grand, and she felt safe in its encompassing embrace.
A sound interrupted her quiet reverie, and her eyes turned reflexively from where it came. The sound grew slowly, and her ears strained to understand what the sound could be. What would disturb her here, in her own sanctuary of her dreams? Time seemed to slow and stretch, as the sound grew more definable.
Like a flash, the source of the sound was now apparent. The sound was footsteps, the bearer proceeding with a lazy speed. And the steps only grew louder and more urgent. The footsteps were making their way towards her, and did not seem in the least slowed down by the thick darkness billowing about.
Her heart began to beat wildly, and her eyes continued to race across the continuous wall of darkness before her. She knew the action useless, but she felt unbound fear begin its toll upon her. In the one place she felt safe, unknown thoughts and feelings made their way slowly into her mind.
She stood in this lightless world, thoughts of chaos and fear vivid in her mind. Her feet turned, scrambling for purchase in the unreliable floor. Soon she was running, full speed, through the darkness, which continued to ebb in and out in. But now the gentle waves seemed mean and rough, picking up speed and crashing against each other.
Behind her the footsteps picked up also, following her every step. Through the once gentle and protecting darkness she ran, desperately trying to outrun the unknown behind her. But no matter how hard or how fast she ran she seemed unable to stay ahead, the footsteps growing louder and louder with which forced breath she took.
Her leg twisted, and her arms flailed as she lost her balance. She fell hard to the uneven ground, the darkness swirling madly around her fallen body. She stood on shaky legs, and listened intently for the steps she knew must be close behind. But... No sound was to be heard, except the darkness and its angry waves.
Her eyes traveled around, searching once again. And right before was the only light she had seen ever in this world of unnatural darkness. A yellow gleam shining through the wisps of cloud. She could place no name to the strange bloodshot eyes, bright yellow against the ebony. She forced herself to breathe once again; wondering what or whom these eyes could belong to. Her young mind brought up memories of the old cook telling stories about demons to frighten those who bothered to listen. But her train of thought was interrupted as a horrible screech came from bearer of the eyes. A deep blood-curdling scream that caused her to put her hands to her ears in response. But it still would not go away, it only continued to grow. Her own scream joined along, but could not be heard over the beasts.
The screaming and the eyes before her faded away and the darkness began to lighten. She found herself sitting in an upright position, her hands resting quietly in her lap. Her eyes looked around again as her breathing began to restore herself, watching as the moonlight falling through the small window coming to a rest upon the stone floor.
She brushed her long, thin hair away from her face, her hands only slightly trembling. The air was cold; turning her sweat soaked skin clammy. Pulling her knees to her small chest, she closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall behind her. The wooden cot beneath her trembled slightly with her movement, but otherwise the moonlight night was still. Looking across the room, to the other cot nestled against the opposite wall; she was reminded that she was not alone. In this place one can never be truly alone, she thought.
Although she felt exhausted after the dream, she let her feet come to place upon the freezing floor. Leaving behind the warmth of her bed for the coldness of the night, she made her way slowly through the small room. The room was packed with the two girl's belongings, leaving barely enough room for them to walk properly. With the walk of one experienced, she made it to the stout wooden door without mishap, and without awakening the other child. Her hand pulled the door open slightly, and she slipped out into the dark hallways of the palace.
On both sides of her a hallway stretched out, leading to other darkened rooms filled with moonlight. The smell of dust was thick here, and the ground worn down by the many steps of the always-unseen servants. Blackened torches hung unlit against the walls, adding to the melancholy air of the servant's quarters.
She sighed as her feet turned and slowly took her down the hallway to her right. The close walls on all sides of her seemed to be closing in, as if trying to keep her from escaping their grasp. She shivered and picked up her step, hard to breathe knowing tons of stone and wood, and hundreds of unknown souls surrounded her.
Eventually the hallway ended, depositing her in a tiny, round chamber, dirt hugging the many cracks in the floor. Unlike the many other rooms in the palace, the servant quarters were always filled with the stench of dirt and covered in grime. On the wall opposite here was a small door, leading out into one of the many gardens of the bustling palace. Many times she had walked this path to the garden, seeking the only quiet sanctuary that could be found on the palace grounds. She shook her head, wondering how life could ever have gotten this unpleasant.
Opening the thick wooden door with still hands, moonlight spilled down once again to illuminate her way. A clean breeze, cold and wet, made its way to her, caressing her skin. Stepping out onto the rocky trail outside, the pushed the door closed. She pushed back the rosebushes on each side, replacing the door's cloak, which had been upset when it had open. Only the servants and gardeners knew about this door, or where the only ones who cared enough about it, and she wished the secret to remain the way it was and had always been. If there was truly only one factor she could always rely on was consistency in her simple life.
The little path she walked on was well known to her. She could find her way to her the rose clearing with her eyes closed, and she was almost tempted to do so. But she quickly decided otherwise, knowing full well that another resident of the palace could be prowling the night, even if the thought was inane. Always best to keep one's eyes open and ears listening.
When the rocky path took a sharp turn leading towards the castle gates, she left it behind. Her feet touched the sharp grass wet with dew, and she shivered in delight. She almost smiled as she made her way across the short expanse of grass, where people would eat and talk when the sun was high. But she never desired such activities. Standing beneath the pale moonlight with the grass beneath her bare feet was enough to put a smile on her face.
Not far from her a group of rose bushes grew into a circle, the center of the man-made clearing invisible to those walking by. Getting upon her hands and feet she crawled between two white rose bushes, being careful as to not allow the sticky thorns to catch in her simple nightgown and her thin hair. Once upon the other side she sat in the center of the clearing, surrounded on all sides by the multifarious colors of the magnificent roses. She sniffed the air, tasting it upon her tongue the sweet scents floating around. She sighed contentedly; forgetting about the horrible dream which had assailed upon her not too long ago.
Yes, here in her own world of flowers and grass, she could be content. Once she grew of age, she would leave this palace behind her, and create her own garden of roses. Although the palace had been her home since she was born, she could not help but wonder how grand life would be outside the palace's walls. Away from people, away from the constant menial tasks, and away from the cold stone walls which enveloped her when she slept. Yes, one day she would be free of this all.
She pulled her knees to her chest, reflecting back upon her life amongst the palace servants. When she was younger, there had been a kindly old lady, one who she called Nana, one who held her when she cried. A year ago she had passed away, and life as she knew it in the palace only deteriorated. The kindly old lady had talked to her as if she really mattered in this world, and now that she was gone, she could not help but feel overwhelmed by loneliness.
Memories of her old protector were small and far between, her young mind unable to store away all the precious moments. But one memory she had always kept, always and forever. Even now, amongst the roses and moonlight, she could remember the words echoing through time.
"Nana?" The night outside had been cold, she remembered, a sharp contrast to the warm steam billowing out to join the scuttling clouds. In her hands was a white sheet, still soaking in the warm water, her hands already turning into a mass of wrinkles.
"Yes, Renna, my dear?" Renna could still remember the voice clearly, the way it made every word sound like a token of kindness. In the lady's hands was another sheet, her gnarled hands scrubbing with the experience of years of work.
"Can you tell me the truth about my Mother?"
"I have been telling you the truth, Renna." Nana seemed to be only paying half of her attention to Renna's words, as if concentrating fully on the task at hand.
"No... All those stories you told me about my Mother... I know they aren't true. I can hear it in your voice and see it in your eyes..." Surprise flashed through Nana's eyes as her hands let the sheet go. Silence took over the small washing room, the light of the single lantern flickering against the dark stone wall. Nana's hands came to rest in her lap, unheedful of the wetness and the sheets.
"I should have known," Nana began, a smile coming alive on her face as she shook her head. "You're too smart, child, for me to keep up with." Nana's hands turned the wick on the heavy lantern up, letting more light to flood into the large room. Taking a dry towel from a seat, Nana dried her hands and sat down. She motioned for Renna to climb into her lap, the way the two always sat when Nana told a story. She held Renna to her tightly, as if she feared Renna might leave soon.
"Your Mother... Until now I have been telling you that she died upon your birth. I wasn't sure when would be the right time to tell you of your origins, but now it seems you have chosen the time," Nana began, although hesitant. She looked down at Renna with sad eyes.
"Your Mother was raped by a demon, and became with child. She had no where to turn, no where to go, and I found her in this time of distress. She lived and worked here in the palace with me, until the time of birth came..." Nana paused before continuing. "After you were born... Your Mother decided she could not keep you, you reminded her too much of what had happened to her. And so, she left, leaving you in my arms. I decided it would be best to give you a somewhat decent life..."
"That would explain the way the other children treat me, treat me like I'm not even human." Nana's eyes clouded over as she looked away at Renna's words.
"So, I am a halfling, something to just be tossed away�" Sadness and something that tasted like rage billowed inside her mind. She was a child born of violence and into a loveless life�
"No! You must never think that Renna!" Nana's eyes were sharp, unusual for her kind demeanor. Her old hands gripped her small shoulders in urgency. "Your Mother chose to give you up, yes, but she also gave up a part of her. Child, without you I would have no meaning in this world, never doubt that someone loves you." Renna clenched her eyes shut, unsure of what to think. Her mind raced with accusations and despair, and Nana's words not forgotten.
Her eyes closed as old feelings and thoughts resurfacing in her mind. Even through all the years of knowing the truth, she could still not help but feel abandoned and alone. She still felt betrayed when thoughts of her Mother came to mind, especially since she could not help but feel love for the unknown who brought her into this world.
After Nana's death, life in the palace had slowly become unlivable. The other children in the servant's area still gathered and gossiped about the 'strange' child, about her features that separated her from them. She was dark skinned, with thin black hair that matched her eyes, a foreign look amongst a sea of pale faces and golden hair. And so, excluded from the life that many other's lived, she had been forced to live her life alone in so many different ways.
She looked up into the sky, at the moonlight intertwining with the soft starlight. Especially on nights like these, with the moon shining at its fullest, she felt utterly alone. Alone in a sea of light, she was the darkness. A child of violence, fighting through the chaotic currents, trying only desperately to stay above.
She shook her head, banishing the thoughts for the time being. She crawled out of the rose clearing, listening to the crunch of grass beneath her feet. She would need to hurry inside before her empty bed was found. And with that last thought, she hurried into the dark palace that held so many fears.
*Note: This was written as a side story for my friend, Shane, who is the author of Timeless Legends
