Faust's enlightenment
I looked at the horizon. I saw the beautiful mountaintops from faraway and started to think about the gurus, the true gurus who didn�t act like clowns for the westerners but instead celebrated the beauty of being in that place. Can it be that in this very spot in which I was to die one day a holy man walked? Can it be that he then saw this same image that I was seeing, of those beautiful distant mountaintops? That image which was destined to be the last thing that I saw before I was dead.
As I was diving in my turbulent thoughts suddenly I felt that my eyes were �opened�. Everything around me started to appear as if it had an �inside�, a kind of �internal nature� just like the one that I had. Everything appeared as if it was alive. As if it was internally alive, but was more than alive, it somehow was �conscious� but its consciousness was so faint, perhaps it was �preconscious�. As if things were striving with their limited ability of expression to tell us that they were alive inside, for our realization of this fact would further bring them to the light of consciousness and being. Seen in this manner, everything appeared to be exceedingly beautiful and precious. Those moments were the most precious moments of my whole life. I was seeing everything as totally new and vivid. I was certain that my eyes were penetrating directly to the deepest depth of truth, that all is alive, sharing one universal essence. I was not Blanky, but Blanky and I shared a common life, a common inner spark of being. My heart was full of emotions that I wept as hard as I could, I was deeply grieved that all this beauty surrounded us without being noticed. We humans are miserable indeed, to live amidst all this beauty without being aware of it. We made things ugly in our ignorance of this certain �approach� or vision to the world. I had seen all what was there to be seen. I saw how absurd had been my expectations of a vision of God. I went here and there seeking him. Now I was sure that I had seen God, and he turned out to be nothing but the world that I looked at everyday.
I came to India seeking enlightenment, and now I found it. I didn�t find it through following a guru and I didn�t find it before a holy text or a statue. I found it amidst the forgotten snow of the Himalayas.
For all my life I have been crying my heart out for nothing, driven by unexplainable anxiety towards something that I didn�t know, feeling suffocating thirst to that one more missing piece in the puzzle of life.
I have been fighting windmills, chasing shadows, desperately seeking meaning in the meaningless�
And now I have found it!