I based this ad off of another one written by yet another guy who's trying too hard. Disappointingly, this didn't get any response.
All the right things - 25
Reply to: anon-65569262@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-03-26, 1:41PM EST
Hey Ladies,
I'm a first-time poster. I'm just sick of the bar scene, and I want something a little more serious, you know? And all of the other first-times I've posted haven't been very successful, so, HERE I GO AGAIN.
I'm looking for something not serious that could, in time, develop into something more. Hopefully by this summer; I have some weddings and funerals I'll have to attend. One of them will be ours. NO, NOT the FUNERALS! Silly!
I'm 25, athletic, 6-2, and have never been married and have no legitimate children. Well, I was married once, but that was for her green card. I didn't want to risk losing a good housekeeper.
If you're interested, send me a pic, and I'll send you one of me in return. It'll be from back when I was in college, but it'll good. Also, a picture of my penis.
I promised to respond to every response I receive, if I like it.
What I'm doing wrong on craigslist - 25
Reply to: anon-65562484@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-03-26, 12:53PM EST
I will come out right away and admit it. I'm a horrible craigslist poster. I break all of the rules and that may be the reason why I'm still searching. Here's a quick rundown of everything that I've done wrong:
- I've never claimed to be "a first-time poster" or "sick of the bar scene". Because I'm not. Either.
- I only reply to a post if I fit the profile. I'm 25, thin and single. For some reason I haven't tried replying to the people looking for 50 year old fat, married men.
- I have spellcheck. I use it. All the time. And I never write things like "u r gr8!" and expect people to understand me or think I'm cute.
- I've never sent someone a picture of my penis. I don't even HAVE a picture of my penis. Why would I want one? I know what it looks like and it's with me at all times.
- I've never offered any money for sex. Well...... Not seriously anyways....
- I've always sent recent pics... Of course I'm only 25, so sending old pictures would probably be a disservice to myself (the whole awkward high school phase wasn't too good for me).
- I can't complain about all the horrible, ugly women on craigslist because I've met some very beautiful women through this site. A lot of times there's no chemistry, and I obviously still haven't found someone 'special', but that doesn't mean I haven't met lots of great women through craigslist.
- I've never "made a move" on the first date. Or the second. I'm patient and not in much of a rush. (Which may be the most seriously wrong thing I've done).
The biggest problem is that I haven't seemed to learn from my mistakes. I keep repeating them over and over again. So if any of you young ladies out there would be willing to put up with all my miscues, go ahead and send me a note.
I've posted before and I've replied to every single response I've recieved. You may or may not be interested in me, and I may or may not be interested in you, but I'll at least say hello.
Disclaimer: The author of this message is 25 and over 6 feet tall. He has never been married, nor does he have any children. He has a good career and does not live with his parents (although he visits them every couple of weeks).
Note: In just two hours I've already been caught in a bald-faced lie. The header said I was 26, while twice in the e-mail I say that I'm 25. See? I'm just a normal, lying bastard like everyone else with a Y chromosome! Cheers