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Sat. Apr. 27, 2002 at 11:58pm *yawns* So tired... I had problems driving tonite, I thought I was going to fall asleep at the wheel. Anyhoo, just read Jude's site. Realize that he's even more of an asshole than previous thought (which is a little too much to comprehend). First off, I'm not the one who did the planning/inviting to Panic Room. Your best friend did. So don't yell at me. Second, I was just wondering exactly why I wasn't being invited to something my two best friends were. At least they had the decency to tell me what they were doing Friday nite, rather than lying to me like you did to your best friends Cori and Jenn (which I think is an asshole thing to do). Third, I wasn't whining about not doing anything Friday nites. I do a lot more now than I ever have. Fourth, remember that fight in the park? Where you yelled at me CONSTANTLY about our relationship, which was over? I think I had every right to say that to you, right after you called me a bitch. Hmmm... yeah, at least that's the truth. Same with the stuff I wrote on Apr. 18. I didn't lie about any of that, because it's all true. I can't see what your problem is. You have a gf, you have friends who adore you, and you still can't seem to leave me alone. If I've pissed you off SOOO incredibly much (which I tried not to, seeing as I was the one who actually wanted to work out our problems), then why can't you just get over it? It seems to me you love to argue, and you will dwell on this forever. I don't see how my not talking/not even acknowledging your existance has pissed you off to this degree. Isn't that what you want? Me to leave you the fuck alone? So get the hell over it. Some of your friends are my friends too. Don't go running around screaming "Ew, I can't go there because Heather's going! I'd rather do something else not as fun just because I'm too immature to get over something that ended months ago! EWWW!" Hahaha.... Mon. Apr. 22, 2002 at 8:24pm Ngh! It's so many peoples' birthdays today. My mom's, Cori's and supposedly Lucas'... C-r-a-z-y... Happy birthday! Anyhoo, what have I done lately? I have no idea! I'm involved in the spring play, so I was at the school a lot this weekend. Listened to Jeremey and Babin sing, got paint all over myself, drove a car with that little "Check Engine" light on (damn, it's not wrecked >_< ) and got beaten badly at Asshole by people. hehehe... Hopefully I can go more this week, but I'm busy, even with dropping badminton on Mon and Wed. (Ha, I sucked so much, and the season's over) OH WELL! I found the most amazing song It's Going Down by Linkin Park/The X-Ecutioners while watching some Spotlight thing on Linkin Park a while ago. It so good, and it's now officially my favourite song! I've been working on an updated version of my Gorillaz site for Com Tek, and so I'm tired of HTML/Flash/Frontpage. Thanks for the help thou Amanda! Anyhoo, I gtg and set up some things for my Mom. Tataa! Thurs. Apr. 18, 2002 at 6:59pm Whoa, I haven't written in a while. I've been way too busy, and right now I shouldn't even be taking time off to do this. *shrugs* O well. Anyhoo, the main motivation *sings Sum 41* for me updating right now is what I read on Jude's site. Actually, I can honestly say I'm rather shocked at what he wrote. But I want to clear up a few things that were not mentionned, or stuff that was 'slightly untrue.' First off, this is pathetic that we can't even talk about this to one another, and have to resort to talking about each other through websites with everyone reading. *shrugs* I tried calling a few times, and even speaking to you at school, but you weren't exactly 'receptive.' Second, you said I regeretted the entire ordeal. Go to my March entires: "So I'm thankful it happened." See that line? That doesn't say I'm unthankful it happened. I explained it helped me to become a better person. And as I explained after we broke up, I was not happy ending it, but I did it for your sake. And then I got all miserable (yeah, I'm admitting it), because of the fact I lost someone who was so involved in my life in an effort to make him happier. I was miserable also because you didn't show one sign that you were sad we broke up. As I recall, you were perfectly normal at the Weezer concert (you said on your site "well there's one experience ruined"), and even asked me to be your Valentine. Well, that was the last nice thing you said. You started going out every weekend, making plans right in front of me even though you knew I was doing nothing that night. So I got more hurt. I tried to call you a few times, about math help/homework or anything to get you to talk. I was snapped at, and basically treated like shit. And to put the icing on the cake, you ended up talking non-stop about some girl named Cat. What was I supposed to think? I'm not the one going around picking up any random guy. I'm assuming either you liked her while we were going out, and were lying about things, or she's a cover to make me angrier. Or maybe you actually like her, prooving that you were definately over our relationship right after we broke up. *Shrugs again* About the friends page, as I explained to Jeremey, I took you off first, because what's the point in having you on my page, when I hadn't talked to you in over a month, and the stuff you had about me on your site was lies? I didn't make a big announcement about it like you did when you took me off yours. I didn't even tell anyone. I didn't do it to 'get revenge the pussy way.' I honestly did it because I don't think there was a place for a person I don't talk to on there. You obviously took it the wrong way, exclaiming as you deleted me from your site "then my sides hurt from laughing so much." Excuse me? Why're you giving me the impression like I'm doing everything in my power to hurt you? All I wanted was a friendship after the whole thing, and I recall that I said, "Like a friendship where we call each other a few times a month, and we might go out in a group together." And that was the last I heard of that. You not even wishing me Happy Birthday was yet another thing that has made me regret the relationship. Do you have any idea how much I did for your birthday? The banner, the multi-presents, and trying everything to make it special? You didn't even have the guts (or better yet, the courtesy) to just say, "Happy Birthday." Congratulations, you ruined my 17th birthday, as I spent the majority of it crying. Even my brother's friends said Happy Birthday to me. You didn't. So I'm getting the impression that you're doing everything in your power to hurt me more, and I just want you to leave me alone. I really don't think ANYONE said anything to you about you chopping me off your website, because nobody brought up the situation to me besides Jeremey. So stop making it seem like I'm not trying here. I did, and as I annouced a few entries ago, I just want to get on with my life, and you get on with yours. I'm actually glad to see you with another girl, because it makes it easier for me to actually think about other guys without feeling guilty that I may still have something for you. *Shrugs yet again* So get over it, if you actually want to be civil, I'm open to talking. I've always been. O, and BTW, where are you getting the impression I like Babin? Please, do tell me that answer. I don't go automatically from one heavily involved relationship to another as quickly as you do. Anyways, I feel like a jackass having to say all of this just so we can somehow communicate with each other. I've said numerous times, I want to forget about it, because it hurts still too much. Yeah, it still hurts like hell. This is the last time I'm ever bringing this up, because dwelling on it is just ruining my life. Know that I actually did treasure the relationship, and did for a long time after. I still do, but now that I've seen what people can change into, my opinions have been somewhat altered. Tataa. Fri. Apr. 12, 2002 at 11:54pm It's Friday! My favourite day of the week! Thank you! *kisses ground* Wait a sec... That doesn't work... ANYHOO, I went out to the movies with Andrea, Nowako, Marta, Babin and Jer tonite, and it was a lotta fun. Between running around Port Credit trying to find Andrea, from getting a police car letting me through an intersection, to Andrea's car doors not closing, to random "Look! They're panic shoes! Panic boxes! Panic sledgehammer!", I had a great time. We saw Panic Room (obviously) and it was a heck of a lot better than I thought it would be. I somehow thought the room moved through the house, but yeah, that didn't happen. Nowako's greasy pizza-whatever-it-was scared me... How did you manage to eat that? BUT ANYWAYS, it was raining, then it got foggy, warm, and misty, so I was really tired in the car when I dropped Babin off. And now I'm half asleep, wondering why I'm staying up writing this when I have to get out of bed early tomorrow to work on Into The Woods. Ah well... I haven't updated in a while, so that's a good enough reason. Lelelee... I've been in an excellant mood all week, and that's a really good sign. My marks are all high (except math... damn you *shakes fist*), and I'm happy about that. Actually, something is making my daily trip to school worthwhile, but I'm not getting into that now, hehehe.. Nite! Tues. Apr. 09, 2002 at 7:39pm Today was so much fun :) It was pajama day! Kickass amazing! Give me the peguin, Andrea *steals Pete* lelelee... He's got a vile tie! Anyhoo, it's also 'famine day' today. I started not eating at 7:05am (I was a little late), and have till 1pm tomorrow. So, I feel not hungry at all. But this constant going to the bathroom is getting annoying, lol. It was sooo warm today. I walked out of my house in the morning with my winter jacket, and then threw it back in. I had band/tutoring after school, but I had the car, so I drove to Sheridan and picked up the Starsailor cd, which is so beautiful. I was listening to MGB's The Audio Of Being while there, and it is now on my purchasing list :) I'm working on the spring play Into The Woods a little bit, doing a few posters and the logo. I can't wait for the big background painting, that's what I enjoy the most. Anyhoo, I'm off to work more on English! tataa! Sat. Apr. 06, 2002 at 11:42pm Hahahaha... I've been reading people's websites. I think they're hilarious :) Amanda, your new layout is kickass. I went to a certain website, and read exactly what I wanted to hear. Hey, glad you're feeling like the world's yours. I'd rather be off your site than having the bunch of lies you wrote about me there. So then I went around and deleted everything having to do with this person too. Frankly, I don't really care anymore, and the less I think about it, the more fun I have, and the better I feel. Yeah, I gave up. But I tried first, much unlike this certain someone did. Then it hit me that I shouldn't be trying, it's not worth my time. So you tell me that I'm not 'worthy' to be your friend? Hell, you're not mine anymore, I don't want to be yours. Sorry if this is strong, but maybe if the remaining 80% of you knew the rest of the story, you'd be able to make your opinions better. Anyhoo, I promised myself that I wouldn't think about this anymore, and I honestly am having more fun now then I did back then. Marta and I went out Friday nite to Laserquest! It was sooooo much fun. We actually met up with her old boyfriend, who was some member there. We ended up creaming him. He was so mad :) As we drove by Marta started yelling out the window at him, and his friend gave us the finger, lol. We went back to her place, deliberated renting a movie and going out to get stuff to eat, but we ended up eating pizza and killing ourselves laughing to the old-school show The Incredible Hulk. *My 3D glasses will kill you!* I beat Super Smash Brothers for her Game Cube in my first try (shhh... it was set on very easy), and then I drove home singing to Radiohead all the way. I have to do that more often :) Weds. Apr. 03, 2002 at 10:50pm Yesss... it is April, which means a new journal page. That will be done later :) Anyhoo, nothing realllllly exciting lately, I went to my cottage for Easter, I've been driving a lot, and I just got over the ton of hw I had due for this week. We FINALLY got cable!!!!! Woo! *does a dance* It's so amazingly fast. Finally I can download things in less than one hour. Opal is so cool with her Hello-Kitty-wedding-doll-ness! You kick ass! Thanks so much ^_^ I have a badminton tournament tomorrow, so no school for me, hehehe... Which is amazing :) Byeo! |