Kids say the darnedest things:
All the cute things little kids have said.
"Look, it's me! Right there."--2 1/2 year old girl, when she saw her reflection in the mirror.
"Is that a pond?"--5 year old, pointing to a puddle about the size of a small car.
"Can I stay with you for the baby wash?" --4 year old cousin, asking his mom if he could come to a baby shower she was hosting.
"Mom, did you take your bath first, and then everyone else?" --Another cousin asking about the same baby shower.
"God's gonna fall off the balcony!" --One of my cousins when he looked up and saw a priest praying in the choir loft.
"I learned a new word today! It starts with an F and rhymes with duck. FIRE TRUCK!"--A kid who went to grade school with a friend of mine.
"Did that man color all over himself? Can I do that too?"--Girl, 7, when she saw a man with tattoos all over him.
When my aunt and her 5 year old son went to a religious goods store, where they ran into their parish priest, who the 5 year old didn't recognize:
My Aunt: "There's Father Jerry. Why don't you go up and say hello to him?"
5 year old cousin: (to priest) "Hello, who are you?"
My friend's kids, when they were 3 and 5, after the 3 year old had punched the 5 year old:
My Friend: "Say you're sorry!"
3 year old: (scowls) "Sorry!"
My Friend: "Say it nice!"
3 year old: "Nice!"
A story my friend told me, about her cousin and her uncle:
Her Uncle: "Son of a biscuit box!"
Her Cousin: "Don't you mean son of a bitch, Daddy?"
On New Year's Day, when some of our relatives stopped by:
My Sister (to our cousin): "What's up, Mathew-dogg?"
His Sister: "That's not a dog, that's a baby."
At a family get together, I was talking with another young cousin, who kept referring to his dad by his dad's first name. I told him that he shouldn't call him by name and should say "Daddy" instead. My cousin looked at me and said, "Well, he has a name!"
Many of my relatives are stay-at-home moms. One of my aunts was watching Dr. Phil one day, and her 2 year old daughter was in the room, since she was really too young to understand what was going on. Another time, there was a completely different show on TV, and in one scene two of the characters were sitting on a couch. My cousin looked at them and said, "Look, Mommy, Dr. Phil!"
Another of my cousins thinks the priest at church is God, and the other day she was very excited to be able to talk to God after the service.
After the 2000 Presidential elections, my coworker and I were discussing voting. She told me that she had brought her 5-year-old nephew with her when she voted, and that he wanted to know who she was voting for. She told him she would tell him after they were done so no one else overheard her. After she voted, she told her nephew her choice of the candidates, and he said, "Do you want to know who I'm voting for?" She asked, "Who?" Her nephew said, "Washington!" She asked him why did he pick Washington, and he said, "Because he's nice!"
Another of my coworkers works at the same time every morning, at the same register. We have regular customers who also come into the store quite often. One customer brought her six-year-old daughter in, and the little girl thought my coworker slept at the store overnights, since she was always in the same place. The girl asked my coworker, "Where do you sleep?"