I feel like ripping apart my brain and throwing it out the window. If you look at me too much you will likely get a disease, so go ahead and run away. Its so easy to say the negative things. To say you hate, to say youre depressed, its the most understandable emotions other than joy. But I have never Felt these in only one dose at a time. I feel fuckedup and happy and suicidal and angry and leftover. Whenever I talk, I cant say it all. I just pinpoint one aspect of my feelings. I only pick one side. I wonder how much of this is me sometimes. I wonder wich part is real and what is fake. Is it possible that everything I feel is real? Can it be real? The answer I usually get is yes.If yes, then whay the fuck dosent everyone else feel this? I'm so fucking bigheaded I think I know everyone and how stupid they are. I am a very large hypocitical disinegrating asshole. I spew shit and eat it. I am as reliable as a broken clock.

Tell me how to show it all, how to beat this shit. Shut the fuck up and get on with your life. Stop being such a fucking weakling. You have ups and you have downs. Get the fuck over yourself. You are what you are. Live or die. Why should I have to hear about it? Eat the bighaired woman down the street who smells like rotting fish. Flush the dog down the toilet and forget she was there. You cant create the whole world with anger, and you cant destroy it either. Call it babble . Call it rant. I dont really care. I'm tired of all the stupid fucking lovesongs. I'm tired of every little thing I say being looked over and laughed at.Its never that one sided. Never just good or bad. But when you realize that, It still hurts. Hell, it hurts more. What are you to do with no satan, no science, no god to blame all on? Sometimes its too much. But not really. I just like to bich. To moan about the world when I dont care.

Havent shaved in forever. I get so lazy about my facial hair, its really rather stupid. I wait until I have a small beard before I shave. Its only takes about ten minutes, but I constantly put it off until I look like an infected hairy ass. gotta but cream next month. Gotta do a lot of shit. Wanna but an amp. The clock says its saterday but I'm pretty sure that was yesterday. Idont know.


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