I make them seem so real.
You can't go behind them,
To see how I really feel.
I'll act like I'm happy
And make you believe.
But you're seeing something
That's not really me.
They're there for a reason,
But you can not know.
They hide certain things,
I won't willingly show
Thoughts lost inside,
Trapped, running for miles.
Happiness has faded,
I'm hiding behind fake smiles...
My reason to live,
Then I desearve to live no more,
My life I'd have to give.
I sit here and bleed,
I blame it on you,
It's all your fault,
This is what it came down to.
I pull out the knife,
I go much deeper this time,
I'm not scared to die.
On my floor I lie,
Blood drips down the side,
I cant help but cry,
You fucking ruined my life.
Are you happy
I will soon be gone?
Are you happy
This is all your fault?
To replace my tears,
The tears I shouldn't cry.
The scars are left,
Haunting me,
From the day I tried to die.
The blood that drips
From the slits so deep,
Are memories slipping away.
And each pill I take
To cure my pain,
I'll be living one less day.
Each smile I force
To hide my sadness,
Leaves a lonely scar.
I feel happier when I'm crying,
I hate hiding myself behind empty smiles,
But who will love you for who you are?
I bleed our all my pain.
I cut away my problems,
Only scars remain
Each scar tells a reason's story,
Each story tells a lie.
Why should I live,
If I only wanna die?
Pills cure my heartaches,
Knives cure my sores.
Pain is all that can save me,
From this complicated world.
Burnes soothe my suffering,
Pain calms my grief.
Slashes in my skin relaxes me,
Laughing as I bleed.
Each drop of blood is proof,
Of how fucked up I am.
Living life is pointless,
Why we do it I will never understand.
I pick it up.
I risk my life,
And begin to cut.
I have this need,
A need for pain.
I begin to bleed,
But it's all the same.
I can't hold back my tears,
Why do I have this temptation?
I let go of all my fears,
And enjoy the sensation.
Memories rush through my head,
As blood comes rushing out.
Soon I will be dead,
What's this all about?
My eyesight is blurry,
I can not see.
What is this hurry,
To bring an end to me?
I begin to stumble,
I fall to the floor.
My lips mumble,
And I exsist no more.
I'm crying on my knees,
I'm waiting here to die,
But nothings happening.
I keep going deeper,
Where is that stupid vein?
I want to cut it open,
I'm to fucking blame.
Once I start bleeding,
I'll play in all my blood.
Leave a puddle on my floor,
Splash in it like mud.
Then I'll splatter
All over my wall.
Spread it around with joy,
Write "This is all your fault."
I'll watch me die,
Looking into the mirror.
Before I break it,
My eyes full of terror.
I'll die alone,
A smile on my face.
Cuz all I wanted
Was to get out of this fucking place.
But nobody knows.
I laugh on the outside,
So it cannot show.
I miss being happy,
And smiling a lot.
It seems as though its gone forever,
That feeling of happiness I forgot.
It hurts more than the cuts,
To know that its gone.
Why can't I have it back,
What exactly went wrong?
I can't live without it,
I need it to be.
I lose myself,
When I can't be happy.
I guess I'm dying alone.
So many things I've never tried,
So much that you don't know.
I guess I'm dying too soon,
I guess I'm dying too fast.
So many times I've fucked up,
So much I'd like to change in the past.
I guess I'm dying before I marry,
I guess I'm dying before I fall in love.
So many dreams will never come true,
So much I've never done.
I guess I'm dying without a smile,
I guess I'm dying without a goodbye.
So many times I've failed,
So much harder I will try.
I guess I have the strength to die,
Promise I won't fuck it up this time.
With a new perception.
LIfe sucks,
I've learned my lesson.
I should have listened
When you told me so.
My time has come,
I must go.
I need to make
Adesision here,
Its not like
Anyone will care.
I look in the mirror
I see my reflection,
I break the mirror,
I'm making the correction.
I wasnt meant to be here,
Why I am I'll never know,
Especailly now,
Its my time to go.
My sweet eyes and long brown hair.
I'm lost in this world but you'll never know,
I dont act like it when your near.
I'm hidden beneath my bracletts,
My clothes and all my lies.
You think that I'm so happy,
But you've never seen me cry.
I'm hidden beneath my action,
My friends and all you see.
You see a different person,
You will never know the real me.
I'm hidden beneath my skin,
In a place out of your reach.
I am dead inside,
My soul died on me.
I lost all hope,
All faith in this world.
I am alone,
Can I make it on my own?
I feel it's better that way.
The less you care,
The less you feel,
The less you hurt,
The less it's all real.
Nothing seems to
matter anymore,
People all suck,
Lifes becoming a bore.
Running out of
Ways to run,
Awaiting for when
The time will come.
Can't wait to meet my destiny,
Please come soon,
Please oh please.
The things that I've done wrong.
Never again will I be with you,
Because now I will be gone.
Never againw ill I speak with you,
My words cause too much pain.
Never agian will I be there,
When it is me you have to blame.
Never again will I mess up,
This is the last fuck up of my life.
Never again will I do wrong,
Because this is my final goodbye.