Ok, so now you are here because you want a little more info. about me.
Well then, you have come to the right place!... Sort of...
You see, I am going to go on and do a bit of mindless(mindful) babble on
the world that partains to me.

Abso-bloodly-lutely Fabo, Isn't it?


I am confused. I don't know
who I am,and I don't even know what
I am supposed to do to find out!
My problem, as you can plainly see,
is quite perplexing...
I wonder how many people out there
truly know who, or what they are.

If you ask me, its nothing that
can be told to you by another
person. It is a self-image...
But would that mean you have to
be something to find out?
I am so confused.

What else is new?
All I know about myself is this:

#1. I like to write.
#2. I like to read.
#3. I am shy.
#4. I am confused.
#5. I think I am trying to be something I'm not.


I am Spruce, the small, empty shell.
I have lost myself to an unknown, and unseen force.
I am afraid. But its more of a hallow fear, not really felt, only known.
I am confused. I am slipping through sand, into a big black hole,
where there is not light, no feeling. My own true emotions have run dry,
or at least, my control over them has. Any moment now I may find myself
crying for no reason, except, to maybe make myself feel more real
than I actually do.
I don't know where I am. I hope I find myself soon.


Memories of mine are being brought up like crazy today.
Things I have long forgotten are flooding back to me, leaving
my eyes to water in their wake. I have no control, just drifting
through my life. Am I depressed? I really don't know.
That feeling may very well be so foreign to me that I
cannot recognize it, even though I so surely claimed that
I had succumed to depression only last year.
Was that a lie I told myself? A comfort to know that I was real?
That something was makeing me sad. Something that was
affecting my very core and shaking me in a deep dark way,
only to leave me with the small illusion that I am real.
I really don't know.
I feel like I don't know anything anymore.



I don't know, I was and am perpetually confused.
I am not always so... Dark? Shall we call it?
But that is just usually when I write, you know
when I really need it.
There is a whole lot more to me than a confused,
lost person, I just know it. Someday I know I will
figure out who the hell I am. I hope.
But until then, I guess it'll just have to work out
as is, because, at the moment, there's not too much
I can do about it.

I don't know that I have much to complain about,
my parents are... Interesting. I don't have
the "traditional" family, like many,
my family has gone through the wonders
of divorce. Now, it didn't affect me much
it was sort of inevitable after they had been
seperated for 8, or 9 years before-hand.
My dad loves to lecture, I mean LOVES to.
He drives me crazy. Insane even. But he
did save me from... "Diablo". Whom isn't
that bad, we just had a bad start
though, he is rather... Fake, I guess would
be the word. But I am just fine, so I should
just shut up now.


~spruce~







Bob The Happy Hobo wants YOU to
email Spruce!
Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1