This will under go much editing. You can be sure of that. But anyway, I really like what I have written here, taking it without my permission would not be a very good idea. I don't like frods. I tend to get angry at them. While I want you to tell me what you think of what I have written, I do not want you to take it.
Thank you for hearing me out.
~*~Spruce~*~
Immortality
They say life goes on, right on till the end. But me, I don't want it to end.
I personally don't plan on dying. Some people may be just fine with ceasing to exist, but that just isn't me. All my life I have dreamed of being all kinds of famous, you know, a singer, an actor... Something to that effect. But what I know is this; I make fun of the singers my parents listen to back in "the day", and I don't watch the movies from years ago because there are so many new ones out today, and they have killer special effects. So, what does that leave for me? I mean, we have the ever popular "Good Semeritan", like Mother Taresa, the tyranical, psycho ruler person, like dear Adolf Hitler... But what else?
While reading a book writen in the 50's, it hit me, some things go out of style, but words are forever. Edgar Allen Poe, for instance, he was not a lucky man at all, if my sources are correct, he married his own cousin, whom he wrote a poem about (the ever famous "Annabell Lee") and still today his chilling tales evoc wonder and terror, all the same, he will never die; he is a staple part of American history. Now, I know I can't be another Poe, and truth be told... I really don't want to be, but maybe, just maybe if I reached a few people with my words, MY words, then maybe I might make a small scrach into the world, sure it may be buffed out by the swift river of change, but for a brief shining moment in eternity, I would be something.
At the moment, being only 15, I have my whole life ahead of me. I want to live it, all of it. But somehow, it has reached me as to how short life is, in a way, I guess that knowledge is a blessing, but sometimes I find myself worrying about death. I don't think that is anything a 15 year old should think about. One's own inevitable mortality is an utterly difficult thing to think about.
I want to live forever.
I remember when I read Anne Frank, she said something along those lines. You know what? She's still alive. Yup, now that's what I call immortality. I am not saying she was lucky in life or anything like that, but her pain and persevirance helped her overcome time. I'm no Anne Frank, but you never know, maybe I have a story to tell.
Again, I'll just say it, I want to live forever.
I truly think that writing is my ticket.
I have tried my hand at writing storys, and let me tell you, it's not an easy task. First, you have the monumetnal task of finding an original story, or redoing a cliche in a way nobody ever thought of (in escance, taking the cliche out of the cliche). Next you have to figure out what you want to happen in said story. Next of course is the actual writing out of the story. And if by some merical you manage to get through the whole thing in one peice, or finish it, you then get to go through the wonderful process of "constructive critism" and let me give you all a word of advice, don't go to your own father, doing such will make you want to throw your written work out of a window. Instead, find someone who you know will tell you the truth without insulting you to the point of no return. After that, you get to fix it! Yay! If you manage to survive all that, you are a far better man-er-person, than I shall ever be. But of course, getting it published is another story in its self. If you ask me, (which you probably didn't) it's an awful lot of work for only getting a small chance of recognition. So that is why I believe that all published writers are truly devoted souls who all deserve some sort of recognition. They take a true risk, they literaly put their inner selves on the line, for when you write, that is what comes out; yourself.
I am writing this about myself becaus that is all I know. I can't tell what other people are thinking, I don't know why they are the way they are. All I have lived is my life, so why write what I don't know? I know this, I can't act, my singing abilities are mediocer at best, and I can dance, but I'm not great at it. I have my thoughts, of which I am a master, so if I can relay them to you, then maybe someone might mistake my ... well, my thoughts for some sort of talent. Everybody wants to be tallented, right? So why struggle to succeed at something you aren't good at? Do something you can do... Wait, scratch that. If you love something, go for it. If you love it and are good at it, well, you are God blessed.
I have had people tell me that my writing is ok, but I have never shown it to enough people to get a real input on it. I do want to know what people think, but I guess this just goes down to my route problem; I'm shy. I haven't always been afraid of putting myself out there, but sadly, I am now. Which sucks for an opinionated teenager. So, me being shy and opinionated, it seems only natural I turned to writing, doesn't it? I mean, what better way to get your point across without having to actually show somebody? But, that wasn't enough for me, or isn't enough. I don't know. Right now, while I am writing this, I doubt I will ever actually show it to anybody (considering my past history).
You may see this and think "Who does this kid think she is? Where does she get off saying this stuff?" And if you are, well, you people are the reason I was (or am) afriad to show anybody. I am not forcing my ideas on you, or my thoughts, if you happen to pick this up and read it and you don't like it, well, that's your poragative. You do not need to go around making me feel bad about about something that I believe. And in all truth, that is what I am writing, I don't see myself as better than anyone else, I suffer from the green eyed monster just as much as the next guy-er-person...
Writing. I do think that writing is the best thing for me to do; I love it. But do I write well? That is the true question of the matter. But does that really matter at all? To me; yes. But that doesn't mean that if in actual fact I suck, that I'll give it up, it just means that it wont take me as far in life as I want.
So, having said all of that, I have this to say; While pictures (both moving and non) tend to fad with time, the writen word, when written from the heart, can last 100 life times.
I do hope that someday my name will be known throughout the world, even if only by a few select souls. But still, that is all I really want; to be remembered. I may sound selfish, but it's my dream. I want to be something, do something, create something. I want everyone to know it's mine. I suppose that all I really want to do is prove myself worthy, for life, that is, and I guess that I feel my words are the only way I can do that.
Bob The Happy Hobo wants YOU to
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