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FUMBLING TOWARDS ECSTASY
Possession
Listen as the wind blows from across the great divide/
Voices trapped in yearning; memories trapped in time/
The night is my companion and solitude my guide/
Would I spend forever here and not be satisfied?/
And I would be the one/
To hold you down/
Kiss you so hard/
I'll take your breath away/
And after I'd wipe away the tears/
Just close your eyes, dear/
Through this world I've stumbled so many times betrayed/
Trying to find an honest word; to find the truth enslaved/
Oh, you speak to me in riddles and you speak to me in rhymes/
My body aches to breathe your breath; your words keep me alive/
And I would be the one/
To hold you down/
Kiss you so hard/
I'll take your breath away/
And after I'd wipe away the tears/
Just close your eyes, dear/
Into this night I wander. It's morning that I dread/
Another day of knowing the path I fear to tread/
Oh, into the sea of waking dreams I follow without pride/
'Cause nothing stands between us here and I won't be denied/
And I would be the one/
To hold you down/
Kiss you so hard/
I'll take your breath away/
And after I'd wipe away the tears/
Just close your eyes.../
Wait
Under a blackened sky/
far beyond the glaring streetlights /
sleeping on empty dreams/
the vultures lie in wait./
You lay down beside me then/
you were with me every waking hour /
so close I could feel your breath./
When all we wanted was the dream/
to have and to hold that precious little thing/
like every generation yields /
the new born hope unjaded by their years. /
Pressed up against the glass /
I found myself wanting sympathy /
but to be consumed again /
oh I know would be the death of me /
and there is a love that's inherently given /
a kind of blindness offered to deceive /
and in that light of forbidden joy /
oh I know I won't receive it. /
When all we wanted was the dream /
to have and to hold that precious little thing/
like every generation yields /
the newborn hope unjaded by their years. /
You know if I leave you now /
it doesn't mean I love you any less /
it's just the state I'm in /
I can't be good to anyone else like this. /
When all we wanted was the dream /
to have and to hold that precious little thing/
like every generation yields /
the newborn hope unjaded by their years... /
Plenty
I looked into your eyes /
they told me plenty I already know, /
you never felt a thing /
so soon forgotten /
all that you do is more than words /
I tried to tell you the more I tried I failed /
I would not let myself believe that you might stray /
and I would stand by you no matter what they say. /
I thought I'd be with you until my dying day. /
I used to think my life was often empty /
a lonely space to fill. /
You hurt me more than I ever could have imagined, /
you made my world stand still /
and in that stillness there was a freedom /
I never felt before./
I would not let myself believe that you might stray /
and I would stand by you no matter what they'd say./
I thought I'd be with you until my dying day, /
until my dying day. /
Good Enough
Hey, your glass is empty/
It's a hell of a long way home/
Why don't you let me take you/
It's no good to go alone/
I never would have opened up /
But you seemed so real to me/
After all the bullshit I've heard/
It's refreshing not to see/
I don't have to pretend/
She doesn't expect it from me/
Don't tell me I haven't been good to you/
Don't tell me I have never been there for you/
Don't tell me why/
Nothing is good enough/
Hey little girl, would like some candy?/
Your momma said it's okay/
The door is open; come on outside/
No, I can't come out today/
It's not the wind that cracked your shoulder/
And threw you to the ground/
Who's there makes you so afraid./
You're shaken to the bone/
I don't understand/
You deserve so much more than this/
So don't tell me why he's never been good to you/
Don't tell me why he's never been there for you/
Don't you know that why is simply not good enough/
Oh, so just let me try and I will be good to you/
Just let me try and I will be there for you/
I'll show you why/
You're so much more than good enough/
Oh, so don't tell me why he's never been good to you/
Don't tell me why he's never been there for you/
Don't you know that why is simply not good enough/
So just let me try and I will be good to you/
Just let me try and I will there for you/
I'll show you why/
You're so much more than good enough/
Mary
Mary walks down to the water's edge/
And there she hangs her head/
To find herself faded/
A shadow of what she once was/
She says, "How long have I been sleeping/
And why do I feel so old? Why do I feel so cold?/
My heart is saying one thing but my body won't let go"/
With trembling hands she reaches out/
A stranger's flesh is offered/
And I would be the last to know/
I would be the last to let show/
I would be the last to go/
Take her hand/
She will lead you through the fire/
Give you back hope and/
Hope that you don't take too much /
Respecting what is left/
She cradled us/
She held us in her arms /
Unselfish in her suffering/
She could not understand/
That no one seemed to have the time/
To cherish what was given/
And I would be the last to know/
And I would be the last to let show/
I would be the last to go/
Mary walks.../
And I would be the last to know/
And I would be the last to let show/
I would be the last to go/
Elsewhere
I love the time I'm in between/
The calm inside me/
In the space where I can breathe/
I believe there is a distance I have wandered/
To touch upon the years of /
Reaching out and reaching in/
Holding out; Holding in/
I believe this is heaven to no one else but me/
And I'll defend it as long as I can be/
Left here to linger in silence if I choose to/
Would you try to understand?/
I know this love is passing time/
Passing through like liquid and/
I am drunk in my desire..../
But I love the way you smile at me/
I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near/
I believe.../
I; I believe this is heaven to no one else but me/
And I'll defend it as long as I can be/
Left here to linger in silence if I choose to/
Would you try to understand?/
Ooh, the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free/
The mold that clings like desperation/
Mother can't you see I've got/
To live my life the way I feel is right for me/
Might not be right for you/
But it's right for me/
Oh, I believe this is heaven to no one else but me/
And I'll defend it long as I can be/
Left here to linger in silence if I choose to/
Would you try to understand it?/
I would like to linger here in silence if I choose to/
Would you understand it?/
Would you try?/
Would you try to understand?/
Circle
There are two of us talking in circles /
and one of us who wants to leave /
in a world created for only us /
an empty cage that has no key, /
don't you know we're working with flesh and blood /
carving out jealousy./
Crawling into each other it's smothering /
every little part of me. /
What kind of love is this that keeps me hanging on /
despite everything it's doing to me, /
what is this love that keeps me coming back for more /
when it will only end in misery. /
I know too many people unhappy /
in a life from which they'd love to flee, /
watching others get every offered /
they're wanton for discovery./
Oh my brother my sister my mother /
you're losing your identity, /
can't you see that it's you in the window /
shining with intensity. /
What kind of love s this that keeps me hanging on /
despite everything it's doing to me. /
What is this love that keeps me coming back for more /
when it will only end in misery... /
Ice
The ice is thin come on dive in/
underneath my lucid skin/
the cold is lost, forgotten/
Hours pass days pass time stands still/
light gets dark and darkness fills/
my secret heart forbidden.../
I think you worried for me then/
the subtle ways that I'd give in but I know/
you liked the show/
tied down to this bed of shame/
you tried to move around the pain but oh/
your soul is anchored/
The only comfort is/
the moving of the river/
You enter into me/
a lie upon your lips/
offer what you can /
I'll take all that I can get/
only a fool's here.../
I don't like your tragic sighs/
as if your god has passed you by well hey Fool/
that's your deception/
your angels speak with jilted tongues/
the serpent's tale has come undone you have no/
strength to squander/
The only comfort is/
the moving of the river/
You enter into me/
a lie upon your lips/
offer what you can /
I'll take all that I can get/
only a fool's here to stay /
only a fool's here to stay /
only a fool's here.../
Hold On
Hold on Hold on to yourself /
for this is gonna hurt like hell. /
Hold on Hold on to yourself, /
you know that only time can tell /
what is it in me that refuses to believe /
this isn't easier than the real thing. /
My love you know that you're my best friend /
you know that I'd do anything for you, /
and my love let nothing come between us /
my love for you is strong and true. /
Am I in heaven here or am I... /
At the crossroads I am standing,/
so now you're sleeping peaceful /
I lie awake and pray /
that you'll be strong tomorrow /
and we'll see another day /
and we will praise it /
and love the light that brings a smile across your face. /
Oh god if you're out there won't you hear me. /
I know we've never talked before, /
and oh god the man I love is leaving/
won't you take him when he comes to your door. /
Am I in heaven here or am I in hell /
at the crossroads I am standing. /
So now you're sleeping peaceful /
I lie awake and pray /
that you'll be strong tomorrow /
and we will see another day /
and we will praise it /
and love the light that brings a smile across your face... /
Hold on hold on to yourself for this is gonna hurt like hell. /
Ice Cream
Your love is better than ice cream, /
better than anything else that I've tired /
and your love is better than ice cream /
everyone here knows how to fight. /
And it's a long way down /
it's a long way down /
it's a long way down to the place where we started from. /
Your love is better than chocolate /
better than anything else that I've tried /
and oh love is better than chocolate, /
everyone here knows how to cry. /
And it's a long way down /
it's a long way down /
it's a long way down to the place where we started from... /
do do do... /
Fear
Morning smiles/
like the face of a newborn child,/
innocent, unknowing./
Winter's end/
promises of a long lost friend./
Speaks to me of comfort/
But I fear/
I have nothing to give./
I have so much to loose here in this lonely place./
Tangled up in your embrace/
There's there's nothing I'd like better than to fall./
But I fear I have nothing to give./
Wind in time/
Rapes the flower trembling on the vine/
And nothing yields to shelter it from above./
The say temptation will destroy our love./
The never ending hunger/
But I fear/
I have nothing to give/
I have so much to loose here in this lonely place/
Tangled up in our embrace/
Theres nothing I'd like better than to fall/
But I fear I have nothing to give./
I have so much to loose./
I have nothing to give./
We have so much to lose.../
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
All the fear has left me now/
I'm not frightened anymore/
It's my heart that pounds beneath my flesh/
It's my mouth that pushes out this breath/
And if I shed a tear, I won't cage it/
I won't fear love/
And if I feel a rage, I won't deny it/
I won't fear love/
Companion to our demons/
They will dance and we will play/
With chairs, candles, and clothes/
Making darkness in the day/
It will be easy/
To look in or out/
Upstream or down/
Without a thought/
And if I shed a tear, I won't cage it/
I won't fear love/
And if I feel a rage I won't deny it/
I won't fear love/
Peace/
In the struggle to find peace/
Comfort/
On the way to comfort/
And if I shed a tear, I won't cage it/
I won't fear love/
And if I feel a rage, I won't deny it/
I won't fear love/
I won't fear love/
I won't fear love/
And if I shed a tear, I won't cage it/
I won't fear love/
And if I feel a rage, I won't deny it/
I won't fear love/
I won't fear love/
I won't fear love/
And if I shed a tear, I won't cage it/
I won't fear love .../
Blue
Blue, songs are like tattoos /
You know I've been to sea before /
Crown and anchor me /
Or let me sail away /
Blue, here is a song for you /
Ink on a pin /
Underneath the skin /
An empty space to fill in /
Well there's so many sinking now /
You've got to keep thinking /
We can make it through these waves /
Acid, booze, and ass /
Needles, guns, and grass /
Lots of laughs, lots of laughs /
Well everybody's saying that hell's the hippest way to go /
Well I don't think so /
But I'm gonna take a look around it though /
Blue, I love you. /
Blue, here is a shell for you /
Inside you'll hear a sigh /
A foggy lullaby /
Here is my song from me./
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