Disclaimer: GW and all things associated belong to Sunrise & the Sotsu Agency. Risk belongs to Parker Bros. and Diplomacy is a product of Avalon Hills.

Notes: Wow.  Autumn is almost done.  But rest assured, Quatre's ulcer-inducing issues will continue in New Experiences, Part Two - Winter Quarter. (which I'm going to wrangle Lilias into beta-ing, since she's the BEST!)

 

NEW EXPERIENCES – PART ONE: AUTUMN

CHAPTER:  Weekend Getaway

 

Relena was waiting for me after orchestra rehearsal; she had just got out of choir and she had to be as hungry as I was.  "Are you free tonight?" she asked, collecting her books. 

         

"I have sectionals at seven, but they shouldn't be more than an hour."

         

"Then let's talk over dinner."

         

When we got to the union, Duo was eating alone in his favorite corner booth, reading one of his textbooks. 

         

"Can we sit here?" Relena asked him.

         

He nodded and rushed to move the notebooks that were spread out over the table.  "Sure."

         

When I returned to the table with my dinner, Relena had already gone through the a la carte line.  She was eating yogurt and listening to Duo talk about molecular structure with rapt attention.

         

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked when Duo finished his mini-lecture.

         

"Dorothy and I hatched a great idea.  My mother has a cottage up by the lake, and we were thinking that it'd be a nice place to study for finals.  We could leave on Friday after my choir practice and return Sunday night."

         

I shrugged.  "It will probably be quieter than the dorms."

         

"So do you want to come with us?" she asked eagerly.

         

"I'll go," Duo said before slurping up the last of his soup.

         

Relena narrowed her eyes in mock-annoyance.  "Who said you were invited?"

         

"A weekend without Duo Maxwell isn't a weekend worth spending.  I'm doing you a favor by offering my irresistible charm and stunning intellect."

         

"Oh, of course."  I rolled my eyes.  "I guess I'll go, too, as long as you guys don't mind the violin."

         

Relena grinned.  "Great!  Trowa and Wufei already said they'd drag you along if you said no.  You don't spend nearly enough time with all of us."

         

I shook my head in agreement with her.  I didn't know what to say.  On one hand, it was flattering to know that they wanted me to come along.  But the pesky voice in my head seemed to think that we wouldn't get much work done.

         

Duo pouted.  "You mean you invited everyone but me?"

         

"Nonsense," Relena replied, throwing a crumpled napkin at him.  "I haven't invited Heero or Sally or Hilde or Zechs yet."

         

"You're inviting Zechs?" I asked incredulously.

         

"Of course.  He's fun to hang out with, and our mother thinks I need him as a chaperone.  Besides—I love to watch Heero sweat."

         

"She has a point," Duo acknowledged.

         

She grinned proudly.  "We'll leave Friday at five, then.  Unless you want to go later with Zechs.  He's on duty until nine."

         

"Do you have enough room for everybody?"

         

She began ticking off numbers on her fingers.  "Well, Zechs and Noin will probably take the master bedroom, and there's another bedroom on the first floor, so that's four.... There are four bedrooms upstairs that can hold at least two people each—yeah, that should be more than enough."

         

"Nice 'cottage,'" Duo snorted.  "Are we going to fly there in your personal jet?  Or will we slum a bit and take the gold-plated Rolls Royce?"

         

Relena's dazzling smile was replaced with a tiny frown.  When she spoke her voice was low and soft.  "What's your problem with me, Duo?  You get mad whenever I talk about anything than involves wealth or luxury—the presence of class difference clearly offends you.  But I didn't have any more control over who I was born to than you did."  Her eyes were pained but her voice remained steady.  "I try my hardest to be my own person and not use my father's status for myself.  I don't behave frivolously because I know that people will sell a half-truth story about anyone with the attempt to destroy him.  I've always tried to help people who don't have the life I have.  What is it you want me to do to make me a better person in your eyes?  Name it and I'll do it." 

         

Duo remained mute, his eyes cast downward. 

         

Relena gathered her trash and slung her book bag over her shoulder.  "I'll see you later, Quat.  Give me a call after your sectionals and maybe we can study psych together."

         

Duo and I sat in silence, watching her leave the union.  To most people who passed her on her way out, she probably looked like something was amiss.  But I could tell that she was crushed.  She just wore pain a lot differently from people who hadn't grown up surrounded by the media.

         

"I feel like an ass," Duo mumbled, staring out the window.  His eyes were fixed on Relena.

         

"You should."

 

***

 

The lake was great.  It was only twenty-five minutes away from Sanq—but far enough to feel wonderfully refreshing.  The road trip itself hadn't been much fun, but it was short, and definitely worth it. Sally and Hilde felt the need to race the whole way there, and while we were hanging on for our lives, Heero tried to impress us with his attempts at humor ("A train was here.  It left its tracks.").  But the house was incredible.  It was relatively secluded on our shore, the view of the lake and Newport City opposite us was terrific, and Relena's mom had a good-sized sailboat out back at the dock that Hilde had been eyeing since we pulled up in her van.

         

"Can we go out in it?" she asked Relena. 

         

"Sure.  If you can man it.  I'd help, but I'm no good on the sheets."

         

Duo nearly choked on his soda.  "W-what?"

         

Heero thwapped him on the back.  "'The sheets' is a slang term for the sails.  Pervert."

         

Wufei and Sally sauntered down to the dock to join us.  I didn't exactly understand the basis of their relationship—they were too close to be friends, but didn't seem to be anything more.  I knew she dated lots of people, but he rarely went out with anyone but her.  Still, they looked great together and seemed to be happy enough, whatever the arrangement.  I could easily see what she found attractive in him.  As for what he saw in her, well, she was tall, attractive, and elegant, yet matched Duo in lewdness and Heero in toughness.       

         

"Are we going out?" She asked, removing her shirt to expose one of the raciest bikinis I'd ever seen.  (Duo was positively drooling beside me.) 

         

Hilde hopped into the boat.  "I call tiller.  Anyone up for the jib?" 

         

"I'll take it," Wufei said, settling into a seat near the bow.

         

I followed them onto the boat, along with Sally, Dorothy, and Trowa. 

         

"I'm going to stay here and start dinner," Heero informed us.  I had no idea he knew his way around a kitchen. 

         

"I'll stay, too."  Relena smiled coquettishly at Heero.  I had a feeling they would do more than just cooking.

         

Duo cast his eyes downward and stepped into the boat beside me.  "Can we talk?" he asked quietly.  "I mean—once we're out on the lake and everyone else is occupied?"

         

Surprisingly, it wasn't long before Duo and I had a chance to have our chat.  Hilde and Sally were in the middle of one of their usual arguments and Wufei and Trowa were refereeing.  Dorothy, meanwhile, kept diving out of the boat and climbing back in after lengthy swims.  So Duo and I made our way past Wufei to the bow and sat by the genoa that was lying crumpled and unused on the deck.  Duo pushed it out of his way and sat down. 

         

"Why aren't we using this sail?" he asked softly.  I got the impression that he was fairly new to sailing. 

         

I shrugged.  "The wind is a bit too strong, and it's harder to tack."

         

"Oh."

         

I could tell by his expression that he wasn't really interested.  He'd been pretty listless lately—ever since Wednesday when he'd upset Relena.  "So what's bothering you?" I asked.

         

"Relena."  He sighed.  "And Heero."

         

"What are you saying?"

         

"She's incredible.  Her laugh, her hair, her voice—everything.  I love it when she's being cute, I love how she's able to turn on you and put you in your place.  I've never met anyone like her.  We sit up all night watching movies while Heero clacks away on his computer.  We talk for hours after he falls asleep.  I just don't get why she had to go for a guy like him."  

         

I was flabbergasted.  That explained his sulkiness whenever she and Heero spent time together.  "Does she know that you like her?"

         

He shook his head.  "I can't tell her.  She's happy with him.  And I can't do that to him.  I might've screwed over my last roommate, but Heero's different.  I like him too much."

         

I wished I could offer advice—but I obviously wasn't experienced with these circumstances.  "Do you—do you want me to say something to her?"

         

Duo looked out over the lake.  "No," he said softly.  "I can take care of myself.  I always have.  I just wanted to get if off my chest, I guess."

         

I didn't totally understand why he'd wanted to come this weekend.  Wasn't it painful to see the girl he liked hanging all over his roommate?  You think he'd enjoy his chance to have his room to himself without the lovebirds.  I glanced over my shoulder at the others.  Trowa was talking to Hilde: flirting, it appeared.  Why did you come, then? I asked myself.

         

***   

 

Around twelve-thirty that night Noin and Zechs retired to their room.  Duo and Hilde had gone to their respective rooms, tired from a day of swimming and playing volleyball.  They matched each other well, both full of energy and fun to be around.  Duo had been so tired that he'd nodded off on the couch, until Wufei shook him awake and sent him off to bed.  Heero and Relena wandered off as well, leaving the rest of us in a rather lopsided game of Risk.  Dorothy occupied all of Eurasia and Australia, while Wufei managed to hold on to Africa.  The Americas were split unevenly between Trowa, Sally, and me.

         

"Never play a strategy game with a military historian," Dorothy smirked as she successfully defended her hold on the Middle East.  "But it could've been worse, I suppose.  I could've brought Diplomacy instead."

         

Wufei yawned and stretched.  "I'd love to play this game out, and show you that it takes more than studying history to conquer the world, but I'm really worn out.  I have to get to bed."

         

Trowa agreed, and the game was called off. 

         

Dorothy was disappointed but she tried to hide it.  "Quatre—if you want, we can have a chess match.  I have a board set up in my room."  With that she walked up the stairs, her long hair swishing behind her.

         

"That was subtle," Sally scoffed.

         

"What?"

         

She rolled her eyes at me.  "Oh, you're so dense.  She may as well just have a flashing sign over her head saying 'Screw me! Screw me!'"

         

Wufei nodded in agreement. 

         

I looked at Trowa.  "I gathered the same thing," he said softly as he put the game pieces away.  "Go get her, tiger."

         

"You could do a lot worse," Sally reasoned.  "She's smart, she's hot, and you have plenty in common."

         

I flushed.  "It's only chess.  She asked for a match.  You guys just expect everyone to be like you.  I mean, it's not like we've even kissed or anything."

         

Trowa looked up at me, his face serious.  "Well maybe it's time to change that."

         

Twenty minutes later I was sitting in her room, stuck in the midst of a heated game of chess and wondering if her intense stares meant anything more than game-mode rivalry.  And exactly what did Trowa mean to accomplish by goading me into trying to kiss this girl?  Was it his way of saying that I was a scared little boy or something? 

         

"Are you going to make a move, Quatre?"

         

"H-huh?"

         

She smiled condescendingly.  "I just moved my bishop.  You're up."

         

My cheeks burned as I moved my knight.  Were those her feet brushing against mine under the table?

         

"Maybe we shouldn't play," she said.  "You seem really distracted."

         

"Urm—yeah.  It's just finals," I lied.  "You hear all these horror stories about juries and Solfege singing tests and worry so much about singing a minor seventh and rehearsing with your accompanist that—next thing you know—it's the day before your Acoustics final and you haven't even gone over your notes."

         

She cocked her head to one side, smiling wistfully.  "And here I was hoping it was something else."

         

I gulped.

         

She rose to her feet, leaning over me the slightest bit.  One perfectly-manicured finger lifted my chin and brought my eyes to hers.  "I like you, Quatre.  And spending so much time with you has made me wonder if maybe our friendship couldn't evolve into something else."

         

I stood up slowly, taking her hands in mine.  "Are you sure this is the right thing?"

         

She didn't answer with words.  Tilting her head slightly, she leaned close and brushed her lips against mine.  It was only a quick kiss, and it wasn't the least bit bad.  She opened her eyes, searching mine momentarily before kissing me again.  Her lips were soft and inviting, I realized.  And she smelled sweet, but not flowery.  I actually liked it.  Her tongue weaseled between my lips, initiating the first French kiss I'd ever received from a girl.  Wet, but not unpleasant.  She tasted good.  As long as I focused on the pure feeling it was enjoyable.

         

This is Dorothy.  This is a girl.  It's Dorothy, your friend who is a girl.  The mantra kept forcing its way into my head.  It's living a lie.  It's one thing to not tell people about your orientation.  It's another thing to deny it.  And it's even more unacceptable to lead on a perfectly nice girl.  She could be somewhere meeting the man of her dreams.  You could be with the man of your dreams. The voice in my head (my all-too-powerful ego, I suppose) sounded reasonable.

         

I gently pushed her away.  "I can't do this."

         

She laughed nervously.  "Please don't tell me you're from one of those freaky cults that make you wear barbed wire under your clothes and don't let guys and girls kiss until they're engaged."

         

I shook my head.  "It's not that, Dorothy.  It's just that I'm—I—well, I'm not into girls.  I'm gay."  There. I'd said it.

         

She sat on the bed and said nothing for several long moments.  "How long have you known?" she asked quietly.

         

"As long as I can remember, I guess. But I didn't know for sure until I was in high school."  I couldn't read her expression.  "I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

         

She shrugged.  "Well, it's as good a way as any.   Does anyone else know?"

         

"You're the only person I've told here at school."

         

"Afraid?"

         

As always with Dorothy, she hit the nail on the head.  I nodded.

         

She took my hand and smiled encouragingly.  "You know that we all like you as you are.  It's not like you're someone else now that you've told me.  Is that what you're scared of?"

         

I thought of Duo and Wufei, and what they might think if I told them.  "Well, yes, but—"

         

"You like one of them," she guessed shrewdly.  

         

I hung my head, not answering her.  Maybe I was ready to tell her I was gay, but I certainly wasn't ready to humiliate myself by telling her I had a crush on the campus sex-fiend.

         

"I won't pry," she said.  "And I won't say anything about this until you're ready to come out.  Just remember that I'm a pretty good listener, if you ever need to talk."  She gave me an affectionate, one-armed hug.

         

We spent the night in her room talking about everything—and not just about my preferences.  Eventually we got to the point where we could joke about the disaster evening.

         

"It's your loss, anyway," she told me.  "I had a great evening planned for you."

 

***

         

On Saturday night Noin wanted to start a bonfire on the small beach to roast marshmallows.  And whenever Noin wanted something, Zechs made sure she got it.       

         

It was a nice night for it, and very relaxing after a most unusual day.  After spending most of the night talking to Dorothy, I fell asleep on her bed and didn't wake until nearly noon.  She was already swimming by the time I got out of the shower.  I kind of expected Trowa and the others to treat me differently; they had to be thinking that Dorothy and I had slept together.  But they didn't.  Duo gave me no lecherous grins.  Wufei never nodded in my direction.  Heero didn't smirk like he did whenever Trowa came back from a date.  Maybe they thought this was the natural course of events.  Maybe they thought Dorothy and I were meant to be together.

         

Or even worse—maybe they had heard us talking. 

         

I knew I was being paranoid, but I ended up spending the day away from everyone else.  I swam when they ate lunch, I ate lunch when they watched movies from Heero's anime collection.  And I practiced my violin when they pretended to study.  Every so often Trowa or Dorothy would come and check on me, but otherwise they left me alone.

         

So that night I sat away from the others, who were goofing off and necking and having a great time.  It was probably the last relatively mild weekend of the year, but it was still cold enough to need a jacket.  I had given mine to Hilde earlier in the evening, and now I was beginning to regret it.

         

"Sit closer to the fire."  Trowa's soft voice in my ear made my heart thump madly.  "You're shivering."        

         

I nodded and moved forward a couple of feet.  He moved with me, sitting next to me and warming his hands close to the flames. 

         

"Are you having a good time?" he asked, his voice low.

         

I nodded again.

         

"You've been really quiet lately.  Especially today."

         

I raised my eyebrows.  "You're telling me that I've been quiet?"

         

"Yeah," he answered with a slow smile.  "That shows how mute you've been.  So what's wrong?"     

         

What's wrong? I repeated in my head, unable to voice it to him.  Every time I talk to you my heart beats like crazy and my stomach drops.  Whenever you look at me I can only think of kissing you.  You'd hate me if you knew how many times I've undressed you with my eyes, how much I want to touch you.  I averted my eyes from his concerned gaze.  "I-I'm just a little tense."

         

He was still staring at me when I looked back up again.  He frowned slightly, almost looking hurt.  "I know you're hiding something, Quat.  I've known since I met you, and I don't understand why you won't open up to me."

         

I shrugged, drawing my knees up to my chest.  "Some things are personal.  I'm not the kind of person who can spill his guts.  I'm not like Wufei or Duo."  

         

Trowa sighed, then reached over and mussed my hair.  "Quat—haven't you realized that I like you because you're different?"

         

He leaned back on his elbows, closing his eyes as he buried his feet deep into the sand.  It looked like he was going to stay put for a while.  After a while I stopped looking at him, focusing my attention on the fire instead.  It was nice having him so near, not saying anything.  If he ever found out just how different I was, I doubted he would ever rest this close to me again.

 

continued in the last chapter of Part One—Autumn:08