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March 9, 2004

   Subjects: 1

   Subject:  I'm Smart, You're Dumb, I Dream of Fortune, You Dream of Fame, I Get Fortune, You Get Nothing; Don't Abandon Your Education.

   Since Registration has begun, I've been disappointed by all these people who are stupid.  A majority of my peers are the folks who think they can live the rest of their lives with the minimum bullshit.  Tell you what, fuckers, your fucking education is what you need; don't pull out all this minimum work bullshit.  If you really want your own house, money, car, prostitute, etc., you'll need a way above average education. 

   It's obvious that life isn't fucking easy, like level 1 from a Super Mario game.  If you think that life really is that easy, you're wrong and need a good hard smack in the face with a wet towel, dildo, etc.  Without your education, all you'll get is: me, pointing my finger at you and laughing. 

   Think you'll win the Lottery?  No.  You should think really hard about it, but you can't because of your I.Q. of an average 6th grader.  I will crack down on this shit and explain to you about the Lottery using the following situation:

   The jackpot is $15 million.  Tickets cost $5 each.  You find out that almost everyone in the state (in this case, we'll use California's population of about 35.4 million).  You buy a ticket anyway...

   So, the probability of you winning is 1 over 35.4 million

   Guess what, dipshit, you just gave away 5 bucks.  Free money does not exist.  The money will always come from somewhere (contestants, schools, parks, charities, you name it, bitch).  No, you can't become a porn star either.  Prostitution is illegal, but no one seems to care.  Have all the sex you want, in the end you'll only feel sorry for yourself when you're 60, out of money because no one wants your saggy balls/tits, and you'll die a sad pathetic death.  By that time, I'll have an arcade and a Honda robot in my house.

   Celebrity status is not an option, and probably never will be.  If you think about it, you'd have to have a shitload of talent or look hella hot.  Let's list some celebrities and reasons why they are famous:

Slipknot - Shitload of talent.  No one cares what they look like since they wear masks.

50 Cent - Dumbass people like you find a gorilla to be very intriguing.  People like you also find shitty songs very appealing.  I'll be the next person to shoot him, should he be hangin' 'round mah neighborhood.

Britney Spears - She's hella fine, why else?  No good music (save for the Toxic song, or is it the video?).

Arnold Schwarzenegger - He's the governor, and he is hella buff.  He landed his acting career after winning several Mr. Olympia Awards (give or take 7).

Ruben Studdard - It's obvious he had that shitload of talent.  He's cool in my book.

   Obviously, you are not those people, so you can't be a celebrity.  Music is a very influential thing, and can get people to think that they have what it takes to be a musical genius, selling your CD's at Hot Topic, Tower Records, etc.  If you actually do get to that point, great, I'm still better than you.  You spent all your time listening to music and neglecting your studies.

   If you're really mentally retarded (don't even try acting like it, because I'll know right away) then you can't really get to the point where you're making millions off of a new scientific discovery.  No, Stephen Hawking isn't retarded either. 

   High school sports won't help either.  No, I'm not dissing jocks.  Jocks make sure my pizza is delivered ASAP and they bag my groceries.  Still, even if one guy on the football team becomes a professional, it will prove nothing.

   The saying "everyone gets 15 minutes of fame" is a big crock of shit.  If this were so, then

15 x 6,400,000,000 = 96,000,000,000 minutes wasted on this bullshit

   where 15 is the number of minutes spent on everyone's fame and 6,400,000,000 is the estimated population.  So, if everyone were to get their 15 minutes of fame, then we've just wasted over 180,000 years on everyone's fame, and by then, we'd be dead and the world's population would have increased dramatically due to exponents and Chinese immigrant families consisting of no less than 5 kids.  The cycle would never be completed since the population exponentially grows unless the Judgment Day from the Terminator franchise becomes real, and drastically shortens the population. 

   So, if you think you'll be famous and you end up living on a street because you abandoned your education for your "dream", I'll be working in a cubicle and have money and all this other shit you thought you would have had because I read my Dr. Seuss back in preschool and the Sylvan Learning Center wasn't an option back then.

   I conclude that if you think you'll be famous, then your chances of becoming a celebrity are

NONE

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