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March 30, 2004

   Today was a good day.  The review I talked about on the previous update is still not posted.  I'm doing some research upon it and writing notes simultaneously.  It will be posted, it just might take a while.  Be patient.

March 27, 2004

   Damn, I'm so fucking bored.  I've been looking for ways to play the Morrowind expansion packs.  I'll probably buy the game of the year edition tomorrow.  Damn those unreliable torrents.  I'm currently writing a review.  It won't be posted until later, however, as it will be a pretty long one.  I sent Mr. Queers (Kerry) an e-mail because I was so damn bored.  I have established out-of-school communication with Zach. 

March 24, 2004

   It's been a few days and nothing great has happened.  I wrote a review today.

   Earlier this week, I burned a CD for Matt, and from what I've seen, he enjoys it, as he constantly listens to it.  In Japanese, I wrote a few paragraphs about some guy I made up.  Matthews is currently in the hospital, for reasons I don't know, and everybody seems to be enjoying it.  So, lately we've had substitutes in IMP2.  Even if Matthews is pretty weird and no one wants her as a teacher, I find it pretty fucking wrong to write "we missed your class, but not you" on a Get Well card.  Ha ha.  Oh well, it's not my problem.  Damn, in Biology we've changed seats.  I no longer sit at the same table as Joe, Jordan, or Josh.  Now, I sit next to Roberto and Ashley.  Roberto's pretty cool.  I don't know what to say about this Ashley chick.  She's probably one of those hella preppy chicks and thinks I'm below her.  Hell, what do I know?  I've never talked to her.

  In P.E. we did some excruciating cardiovascular training.  I have learned that my heart beats around 523 times in a minute after I jog around the football field.  Haha, no. Actually, it beats around 120 in a minute after jogging around the stadium.  In World History, we went back to the computer maintenance/repair class (room 1116).  Chanthy had looked at hentai once again.  English was alright.  Nick and I just hella laughed at some shit.  Nothing great after school.  I saw "Battle Royale."

March 20, 2004

   SALAM DEGE.  Noruz was today.  GOHKTOOLEH.

March 19, 2004

   The week is finally over.  Damn, I've been fucking tired all day.  This is because my subconscious mom gave me Nyquil when I asked for some allergy relief medicine.  Oh well, I'm not tired anymore.

   My mom bought me 3 more boxes of Life cereal, so that kicks ass.  Kitto still had my calculator this morning, so I couldn't do my math homework.  Bastard.  Man, Japanese was a shitload of fun.  A shitload, meaning a shit-load-of-shit-exploding-out-from-the-sides-of-a-baby's-diaper shit load.  I fell asleep in Japanese class.  It kicked ass.

   Math fucking ruled today.  Our substitute was hella cool.  We barely did shit.  He let me listen to music hella loud during the assignment.  Biology wasn't bad.  I counted the kernels on the corn.  P.E. wasn't bad, either.  I am the best at basketball.  My skills remain unsurpassed, and I don't play the game like a cocky bastard.  Lunch.  Fun.  I told people to shut the fuck up while I was half asleep.  World History was pretty awesome.  We went to the computer maintenance/repair room again, and Chanthy continued to look at hentai while I found some kickass gorilla pictures.  Gorillas are awesome.

   English was hella fun today.  I threw Kerry's hacky sack behind Ms. Darnell's bookcase.  I told Nick the story of the duck (very inside humor).  We hella laughed.  We're going to start reading The Great Gatsby.  I hope it's not a shitty book like Into the Wild.

   Nothing else great today.  My dad picked me up and we went to Barnes and Noble.  Then we went to go get something to eat.

March 16, 2004

   Salam.  Today was cool.

   During zero period, I drew a lycanthrope.  I also drew a kick ass picture of Ernie (from Sesame Street, a show that kicks major ass) in his bathtub with his rubber duck, and on it I wrote, "Bubble Baths Kick Ass."  Indeed, bubble baths kick ass, as far as Muppets are concerned. 

   We took the English portion of the CAHSEEs today.  Holy shit motherfucker, I'm going to fail.  Man, so hard.  I couldn't concentrate at all, and I wrote a bunch of shit on the essay.  No, I think I passed without a doubt.  If you didn't, and if I find out, you're not cool.  Nick and I laughed hella during the test.  The proctor had mispronounced Sean's name wrong ("Boogie" instead of "Buggy") and Nick laughed because it reminded him of the Boogieman from Toejam and Earl (kick ass game.  Buy the cartridge or get a ROM).  When he began the second part of the test, Nick tore the paper, similar to the way Will Smith did during Men in Black.  You know, where he took the MIB test and tore the page because you have to cut that fucking unnecessary sticker.  Oh well, that was funny.  I don't see why we had to respond to the horse story.  I should have wrote that the narrator should have learned the following from the horse: Crying gets you nothing, and laziness gets you nothing.  First of all, the narrator cried like a ten year old kid when the horse ran away.  He cried because he would never see the horse out there.  Listen up, shithead.  You get your ass out there and you find that fucking horse if you want it, man. 

   I finished half way through third period, so I was dismissed and went to Biology.  I have to fill out a paper on autism.  Man, P.E. kicked ass.  I didn't have my P.E. clothes with me, so I'm playing basketball when it's 80-90 degrees outside and I'm wearing all black.  Fuck yeah, bitch.

   Man, lunch was awesome.  I capped on Kitto, Scott, Matt, and Geremie.  So haha, bitches.  Good shit.  In World History, we actually did some fucking academic shit.  Mr. Collins made us take a quiz.  Oh well, I won't question his reasons.  Then, he gave me an extra credit assignment, which I finished.  In English, we're watching "10 Things I Hate About You."  Good shit.

   Fuck, I'm not going to the public purification rite tonight.  First of all, I'll have nobody to hang around with.  There will be tons of little kids.  The fire there will suck, too, since it's designed for little kids to cross.  Second of all, racism.  Since I'm not Persian, I'll stay here.  Don't bitch about my mom, either, since I'm more of a minority.  But guess what?  The purification rite will go on. 

   At 6:30, I had my step-dad light a match so I could "jump" over.  No, the purification rite hasn't finished.  Oh, now that they're gone, I'll proceed with the rite.  So, I'll be back in about 10 minutes.

   (10 minutes later) My purification rite kicked major ass.  I actually made my own fire to jump over.  Since we have no trees in the backyard, I just started my bonfire with old magazines and newspapers doused in lighter fluid.  I jumped over it by getting a head start off the deck.  It was a big ass fire, too.  Fuck yeah, I'm now purer than before.  I think my evilness shall return...wait. I think it just did.  Oh well, I guess I'll be nicer for the next few days.

March 15, 2004

   Man, I look like I'm from preschool.  I shaved my moustache this morning, so yeah.  I worked on the POW in the End Zone.  When Cory arrived, he didn't recognize me at first.  Anyway, he helped me study for my ultimate test (not the CAHSEEs).  I thank Hiranaga-san for helping me study for my quizzes.

   In Japanese, we're watching the "Princess Mononoke."  So far, this is one hell of a fucking kickass movie, and I shan't tell why.  In IMP2, my group sucks, and I'll say it over and over again.  My group sucks and my last group kicked ass.  Today, we made a poster, and I have concluded the following: 1.) Volung can't write for shit, 2.) Alex doesn't know shit.  I admit I didn't help, but why would I?  All they'll say is that I'm stupid and I shouldn't do anything.  So fuck them.  Tara got a haircut, and it's not bad.  Matt says Tara and I look like little kids.  How swell.

   I took a probability quiz in Biology.  Easy shit, except for the first question: The odds of an event occurring is called (answer here).  I guessed odds, since probability is the chances of an event occurring.  Anyway, I did some shit on my lab.  In P.E. the class has been split into two basketball groups: those who play recreationally, and those who play competitively.  I play recreationally, of course.  I made no baskets today, and I don't give a shit.

   Lunch was cool.  Again, we had good laughs.  Whoever plays the drums in the band room will not out-play me.  I play Slipknot songs, and I think that's good enough.  Oh yeah, I can play some punk songs too, but punk rock isn't my thing.  I guess I'll try to play in Tara's band.

   In world history, we went back to the computer maintenance/repair room.  Mr. Collins is a cool dude.  Anyways, Chanthy continued to look at hentai, while I looked for a suitable background for the computer I used.  And no, it wasn't porn, or any kind of shit like that.  It was a cool picture of a gorilla.  Yes, a gorilla, you dumb fuck.

   In English, I took my ultimate test.  I was a test on all 125 prefixes, roots, and suffixes I have been learning over the past few weeks.  I don't think I did too bad.

   After school, I got a cheeseburger at Applebee's.  Then, I got a haircut (fuck yeah bitch).  And now, I definitely look like a little kid.  Guess what?  A.J.'s pigeon didn't die.  Bastard.  It has returned to his house.  Ha ha. 

   Made some other updates.  As you can see, the Articles section has formed.  It's great.  Check it out.  Sign the guest book, and be sure to hit refresh a bunch of times to add traffic.  Oh yeah, some dates from the Articles may be off (e.g. "This Page was Updated 3/15/2004" when the article was written in December) since I added them today, so don't bitch about them. 

   Ha ha, my sister got a bad grade on her recent math quiz.  As punishment, she was enrolled in Donald's School of Fuck.  There, I educated her in her fractions.  She had corrected all of her quiz.  As a final, I quizzed her on a bunch of shit that was similar to what was on her school quiz.  As part 2 of the final, she had to do 20 push ups, 25 squats, and 30 jumping jacks.  Ha ha, I am a hardcore teacher.  Actually, I believe I could be a teacher.  Hell, I tutor people everyday.

   Eh, Noruz is coming up dege.  Tomorrow I will go to initiate the purification rite at someone's house.  It's for Iranians, but oh well, I hear the purification rite kicks ass.  Yes, I will rid myself of evil spirits, but it matters not.  My demonic status will be restored in time.

March 12, 2004

   Nothing bad today.  The children are now waking up early, which sucks because I can't have some peace in the morning.  Anyways, my hair had a big ass part in it.  I finished my rough draft and some history questions in the End Zone.  In Japanese, I wrote an essay.  Two of my paragraphs were run-on sentences (if there is such a thing in Japanese).

   Math wasn't too bad today.  We had a substitute, so class wasn't so boring.  I presented my information on how coffee can be an effective diabetes defense.  I was the last person to present, but I didn't really give a fuck.  In biology, my 3rd quarter grade was determined.  I have an A.  I think I have only 3 other people to compete with in that class. 

   P.E. was alright.  My team in basketball has won all the games, so, we're cool, and we posess these alleged "mad skills".  I believe my only purpose on my team is to steal the ball, make 1/5 shots (hell motherfucking yeah), or throw the ball across the court to the open teammates.  Anyways, I think I was a key player.

   Lunch wasn't bad, either.  Some really good laughs.  World history was cool.  We went over to the computer maintenance/repair room.  Chanthy decided to change a computer's desktop background to a hentai picture.

   English has been a fucking laugh riot this whole week.  Today, I laughed to a point where my face and stomach hurt, and my eyes were watery.  Why?  Ms. Darnell was lecturing us about the CAHSEEs (which look simple).  Anyways, she put some samples on the overhead (samples taken from the CAHSEE books).  One good example of a failing student's response essay began like so:

   The importance of getting rid of garbage on school camps is very important.

   Wow.  What a fucking retarded kid.  That is actually in the CAHSEE book of English/Language Arts, page 127 (if you don't believe me).

   I forgot to turn in all my papers for The Taming of the Shrew.  Ms. Darnell told me I could turn in my papers after school at the pool, since she was selling tickets for the competition.  Well, I got there at 4 (after grabbing my papers from my desk at home and getting back to school).  After circumnavigating the pool area for a 1/2 hour, I left.  Damn.

   So, I got home at about 5.  I showed Kitto "A Fistful of Yen" which is the best martial arts clip ever.  Another rant will be written soon, so you can hope to get a good laugh.  Along with that, I'll be writing my own version of Pokēmon...as a script!  That, too, will be fun.  I still have no good ideas about the new site format.  If you have an idea, establish communication with me.

March 9, 2004

   Today was OK.  New rant in the Rants archives.  It's based on some shit I talked about yesterday.

   I finished all 11 pre-labs for the Genetics unit in Biology.  In Japanese, I made a shitload of jokes, which was fun.  I have a B in IMP2, so HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Matt, I am better than you are in IMP2...

   Probability lab in Biology.  Easy shit.  P.E. was OK.  We did a push-ups test thing, and then we played soccer.  We won.  Lunch.  Nothing great (again), just some good laughs.  In World History, my authority was questioned again, which led to me giving a response, "I'm leader because I'm better.  If you don't like it, too fucking bad.  Fight me for it..."  I received no challenge, so I still lead the group.  In English, we finished reading The Taming of the Shrew.  It was a really cool book.  I might write a praise upon it, I don't know.

March 8, 2004

   Fuck, I'm bored and my life sucks.  I wrote an entry in my journal (not this one, click the link in the Navigation Pane to see it). 

   I had no work to do this morning, so I fell asleep in the End Zone.  I smacked Cory's head hella hard this morning, which was funny.  Nothing great in Japanese.  In math, we have new seats, and I hate my new table (Alex and Vulong.  Alex seems to have no fucking sense of humor whatsoever.  Geek.  Vulong is stupid and he is whitewashed.)  Plus, I'm right next to the teacher's desk.  How fucking fortunate.  My last table was pretty cool.  I used to sit with Tara, Amber, and Shelly.  You might be thinking, "Oh shit, Donald's a pimp sitting with three other chicks!"  No.  I'm not a motherfucking P-I-M-P, you bastard who has definitely been influenced by shitty music and the such.  I may have/have had a foolish infatuation with Tara, but shit, I doubt my high school career involves me falling in love.  Then you're thinking I'm gay.  No, you dumbass high school jock who loves slapping fellow players' buttocks during a good play and also enjoys group showers in the locker room, I'm not gay.  Anyways, the new unit involves statistics, so I shouldn't have a problem as with that one fucking problem on the last unit test.

   I look forward to this new unit in Biology.  The Genetics unit seems very easy.  Hell, we're dealing with probability and Punnett Squares.  Fuck, today was the last day for Badminton in P.E.  We'll be playing basketball for the next two weeks.  I'll play basketball, but not with arrogant fucks who claim to have "mad skills" and "hops" and all that other bullshit I've heard.  Unless you can program in C/C++/etc., understand binary/hexadecimal, can build your own computer, repair your old NES, type sentences with your cock (this applies to males and shemales only), and can write a page as good as mine in HTML, then you receive no bow from me.  Take those mad skills from the sports fields and shove them up your ass.  Raise the roof?  Bullshit.

   So, Badminton is over.  Today was a good last day.  I tied with Scott, and kicked Jerry's ass.  Fun, indeed.  Ah, sweaty locker room.  The fellows need their deodorant, especially the crackhead dude.  Joe needs to wait his fat ass when I'm trying to buckle my belt.  Dumb ass.

   Lunch.  Nothing great happened.  Some good laughs, but nothing great.  World History.  Dumb.  My second-in-command (Ali, also known as Darth Malik) was not there.  Strange, he was at school today.  My fellow friends in there question my judgment (such as why I am leader of the group and why neither of them are my second-in-command).  Well, to start off, I moved into the group (after grabbing some wigger's throat and twisting my arm, having him beg for mercy) and immediately took charge.  Since I am most likely the smartest person in that class, it is of no wonder why I lead.  Ali is second-in-command because he, too, does the work that you lazy bastards don't.  Please note that my good friends in world history consist of four other people.

   English was pretty fun.  I laughed my ass off near the end of the period.  I don't know why, but the substitute hella reminded me of Brittney.  Anyway, I wrote a persuasive essay.  The question asked if I agree that we should get rid of trash to make the campus more attractive.  I agreed, and ranted out all these lazy bastards who I know don't throw away their shit.  I proposed we do the following: 1.) lay the law upon the lazy shits (in other words, enforce in a way that the students hate, e.g. detention, Saturday Schools, etc.), sell food wrapped in food (similar to Carl's Jr. or how clam chowder comes in sourdough bread bowls when you order them in Monterey), start programs where students actually make the campus look better (planting stuff, etc.  Come on, they did it in High School High), or dispose of trash cans!  They're great ideas.  If you disagree, go to hell.  Anyway, Nick and I laughed hella hard in English.  In my essay I wrote that lazy students will live their lives eat nothing better than a Kid Cuisine (the meal with the penguin on the box).  Kid Cuisines kick ass, but they're like snacks to me.  We reminisced about funny shit such as Sexual Harassment Panda.  I told Nick how my math teacher was "Gay" and he laughed.  Obviously, I explained to him how it was Gay and he laughed harder.  We laughed about how I can't learn math the Gay way.  We cracked up hella when I told him that during a time when we are given a math lecture/someone is being scolded, I'd point my finger defiantly and yell, "Shut up, Gay!" (inside humor).  Ah, funny shit, funny shit.

   Homework: Nothing really.  Pre-lab and a POW to work on.  I'm 1/5 finished with the POW, and I've written pre-labs for the first 6 labs of the Genetics unit.  I played Morrowind for 2 hours. 

  If you've decided to take the minimum graduation requirements (2 years of math, 1 year of biological science, 1 year of physical science, etc.) I pity you.  Congratulations, you can now go to Delta and spend the rest of your pathetic life floating away like a lump of shit.  Don't pull that "No way, dude, I'll be a celebrity..." bullshit on me.  No.  You won't be.  Fat chances, dipshit.  And no, not everyone gets 15 minutes of fame.  If this were so, then

15 x 6,400,000,000 = 96,000,000,000 minutes wasted on this bullshit

   where 15 is the number of minutes spent on everyone's fame and 6,400,000,000 is the estimated population.  So, if everyone were to get their 15 minutes of fame, then we've just wasted over 180,000 years on everyone's fame, and by then, we'd be dead and the world's population would have increased dramatically due to exponents and nuclear Chinese immigrant families consisting of no less than 5 kids.  The cycle would never be completed since the population exponentially grows unless the Judgment Day from the Terminator franchise becomes real, and drastically shortens the population.  So, if you think you'll be famous and you end up living on a street because you abandoned your education for your "dream", I'll be working in a cubicle and have money and all this other shit you thought you would have had because I read my Dr. Seuss back in preschool and the Sylvan Learning Center wasn't an option back then.

   Maybe I'll do some major updates on the site pretty soon.  Don't count on it, though.  I'm going to eat...

March 7, 2004

   Today wasn't too bad.  I woke up hella early and couldn't go back to sleep.  I attempted to teach the children to be more civilized people.  During that time, I tried to teach them how to eat properly and how to keep the house clean.  In the end, the house was clean.  Bijan still eats with his hands (we had waffles drowned in maple syrup for breakfast) and my sister still doesn't keep quiet at the table. 

   We went to Nelson Park today.  Obviously, I didn't want to go.  It was hella boring and hot there.  My parents probably didn't see the shaded area with tables.  Oh well.  Bijan has received basketball education by me.  In more familiar lingo, I "served" him up in basketball.  My sister also received soccer education from me.

   Later, we went back to the house, where I traveled the world, killing those who dared defy Lord Malacath (in other words, I played Morrowind at the house.  It is obvious that I need to get some new computer games).  After that, we left the house again.

   EH, this time I actually wanted to go.  We went to see Kamyar.  'Twas much fun, indeed.  I educated all the children in the subject of Sonic Adventure 2 Battle.  Ah, it was fun to see an old friend, dege. 

   I have homework to do...

March 5, 2004

   Fuck, my brain is fried.  I took four tests today.  Tell me, what is the probability of that happening?  You can't?  I didn't expect you to.

   I got my hair back to the Wayne Static look.  So, it would seem that over a course of a week, my hair has grown an inch.  The reality is, however, my hair looks shorter when I comb it.  Enough about my hair, even though it's the coolest.

   So, I took four quizzes today.  Last night, I studied like hell and fell asleep around 1 o' clock with my face on my world history textbook.  I think I aced my Japanese quiz because all we had to do was write something in English and then write it in Hiragana (e.g. turtle = kame, baseball cap = booshii, etc...).  Fuck, in math my mind went blank when I found out we had 10 minutes left.  I completely forgot the first page, but I did the bonus part, so I hope that it compensates for the four problems I didn't do (along with my 5.5 page cover letter!).  Tara invited me to go jam out at the place where they're "jamming." 

   In biology, I had the Unit test, which wasn't too hard.  I got a little confused on my first essay question (I didn't know if I was supposed to write how DNA is replicated or illustrate how DNA is replicated).  Oh well, even if I fuck up on my essay questions, I should still have around 85% in biology. 

   Fuck, today was the last day for badminton in P.E.  Damn, badminton is hella fun, but I didn't want to try out for the school team because: 1.) I didn't get a physical, and 2.) I don't wish to represent the school.  Well, I kicked Chanthy's ass in badminton.  The dudes who hung out with us yesterday at lunch were hella cool. 

   At lunch, we have discovered that when rice chex and a badminton racket collide, the chex explodes into small shards, and god damn it, David is so obsessed with it.  In world history, I worked on the handout and all my lazyass friends in that class copied off of me, bastards.  In English, I had me fourth quiz on prefixes, roots, and suffixes.  I think I aced that, too.  With all my four tests completed, I let out a small sigh of relief, and no, I did not fart, hehe.  We watched the end of Act 4 of "The Taming of the Shrew" (although it is a book, you cannot watch an act in a book, unless there is a live taping of a play, no?). 

   The children had their friends over when I came home.  They obviously pulled out the oh-man-we're-so-cool-we're-going-to-fuck-with-you attitude bullshit again, and as you may recall, I always do the same thing.  So this time, I just took the A/V cords for all my game systems and put them in my pockets. 

   From 5-8 today, I have been playing Morrowind, an obvious demonstration of boredom.  My sister told me that she had homework to do and that she needed the computer.  I told her no, since she would most likely play Free Cell which does not seem like a shit load of fun.  What is fun is burning a bunch of old newspapers and magazines!

   So, she just trashed my CD collection (bitch).  I went into her room and did the same fucking thing, although her CD collection is but a minute fraction of mine.  So, she pulled out her fake bullshit cry and called my mom; I didn't get in trouble.  Hehe, my mom scolded her.  She forgot that she was talking to my mom on the loud speaker.  Funny shit...

March 1, 2004

   Today was stupid.  I did my hair hella weird.  My brother said that I did it like the way Johnny Depp did during the Academy Awards last night.  Not that I'll believe him.  Oh well, I'm not going to do my hair like I did today again. 

   In math, I sat around and asked other people if I could copy their papers.  That class is so fucking stupid and is notorious for this stupidity and shittiness.  We had a substitute, yes, but I hate the class.  I may be able to out-debate some people there, but I don't get shit out of this fucking unit.  God damn.  Some people in the class are cool, and others are just stupid.  Don't ever try to out-debate me in that class.

   Nothing great in Biology.  All I did was a lab and cuss out some of my friends in the class.  In P.E., I didn't get to the class as I usually would.  Whaley didn't tell me where we're supposed to go, since it was raining.

   I took a test in World History.  In English, I read the lines of the great Grumio during our reading session of The Taming of the Shrew.