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July 18, 2005

   Mormonism

   I bet you were thinking, "What?  Donald converting to Mormonism?  Donald converting?"  Well, guess what:

Psyche, motherfucker!!!

   Ooh, total ownage right there.

   Anyways, this past Friday, I made a trip to Goodwill and I had a lot of fun there.  I went to Goodwill to shop for suits.  The first thing I did when I walked in there was notice the repugnant stench and nearly went unconscious because I decided not to breathe such foul air.  I went to the back corner of the store, and I found plenty of books.  Very cheap books.  Hard covers for a dollar and not-so-hard covers for 50 cents. 

   It was there that I found my first purchase in any Goodwill: Elie Wiesel's Night.  It is really good, despite how small the book is.  Then, I found the answer to all my problems: the new Testament of Christ, The Book of Mormon.  I thought to myself, "Wow!  What a find!  I shall purchase this Book of Mormon and read it, so that I may become more spiritually enlightened." 

   I scoured the shirt section as well.  I found a shirt I thought my stepdad would like, as well as a shirt for me.  I threw those into the cart, and then traveled over to the Blazers at a price that cannot be beat: $4.50 each.  I found 2 blazers, one gray and one black and tried them on in the fitting rooms.  Perfect.  But finding matching pants was a whole other adventure.  In the end, I did find matching pants. 

   While going toward the cash register, I noticed quite an interesting item from afar.  It was something I had wanted since middle school.  It was a leather trenchcoat.  Only twenty dollars.  I decided to take it, despite the fact that my mom would get pissed off at the sight of it.

   On to the cash register.  In the end, I ended up paying $38.50 for clothes that would normally cost me well over $250.  If people think shopping at "ghetto" stores such as Goodwill and Walmart is stupid, they can kiss my ass.  Three cheers for "smart shopping!"  Hip, hip, FUCK YES.  Hip, hip, FUCK YES.  Hip, hip, FUCK YEAH MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!

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