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HIM Sucks

   HIM is seriously a fucking gay band.  Let it be known that HIM is not an acronym.  I understand that when I use HIM in such sentences as "HIM Sucks" it contradicts my habits of good English.

   So, HIM is some shitty band from a land which I will call "Shitfuck" because I don't know where they hail from and I don't want to know where.  When you first look at the band, you might get freaked out.  However, the lead singer looks gay and his makeup job resembles that of a mime. 

   HIM plays a special kind of music called "love metal."  What the fuck.  Metal involves no love, as you can hear in Slipknot or Static-X songs.  If you want to sing love songs, get the fuck off of the Gothic scene and start playing a ukulele. 

   As you can see, their logo looks like a piece of shit.  I can make a better logo with a marker attached to my penis when it isn't erect.  HIM has bitten off of the pentagram and turned two points into curves, making a heart.  Again, using HIM in such sentences makes no sense.  It is now called a 'Heartagram' which is even more stupid and sounds like something from Valentine's Day.

   During school hours, I see some kids wearing these HIM shirts.  They all look stupid and gay.  If I went up to them and said, "HIM Sucks" they'd probably do their best to retaliate by reciting several lines from their favorite HIM song.  Either that, or they'd probably snap their fingers at me and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about.  Wrong.  I've listened to the music, and conducted research.  They suck.

   Seriously, what kind of bullshit is love metal...