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April 17, 2004

Subject: My Sister is Likely to Fail High School

   Yes, I'm pretty sure you've heard me talk shit on all my family members.  If you read the special update way back from February, you'll remember that my sister can be pretty fucking stupid.

   Earlier today, I had the children watch Bowling for Columbine, because documentaries like this one kick serious ass.  Anyways, after that, I had my sister write a summary on the movie.  I feel that this will greatly increase her comprehension and writing skills.  And here is her summary, word for fucking word:

Parissa

4/17/04

"Bowling for Columbine"

(A sumary by Parissa)

   This is a summary of what I learned watching "Bowling for Columbine."  It talks about a community and how the people and the homes and the schools are.  Michael Moore was the reporter and talked to some of the schools.  A horrible tragedy happened at Columbine School.  Some kids at that school brought guns and shot many student victoms.  Michael Moore went talked to some of the survivors and asked how they felt.  A girl said that the murder's pointed a gun at her head and asked her if she wanted to die.  She said no, and they left her alone.  In Littleton, another crime happened.  A mother, of a 6-year-old first-grader, and three other children, was working 2 jobs and asked her brother that he could take care of her kids.  The 6 year old found a gun at his uncles and brought it to school.  He shot another 6 yar old named Kayla Rolland.  And she died.

   That's all she wrote.  Wow.  She bitched about how I shouldn't be correcting every single fucking thing on the paper and should get straight to her grade.  Luckily I had typed it up just for you before she grabbed it and fed it to the paper shredder.  I was going to grade her fairly, too.  But, due to her bitchy attitude, lack of information on how Marilyn Manson was not the blame for Columbine (essential in any report including metal artists, due to my superb biased opinions and beliefs that Marilyn Manson wins this situation, because society is shit and will likely remain in that shitty state forever, due to shitty rap and people who try to sue McDonalds for "making" them fat) and a cornucopia of incompetence, she received a big, fatass motherfucking

F

   for Fuck, get your Fucking ass back to the Fucking second grade Fucker.  I truly am a great teacher.