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November 02, 2004

Why You Should Commit the Seven Deadly Sins. By: Me

Why, might you ask, am I writing something about religious beliefs?  Simple: 1.) because I feel like it, and 2.) because I can.

The Seven Deadly Sins are as follows (for those of us who don't know, and need to go onto the Internet to find out):

Pride

Envy

Gluttony

Lust

Wrath

Greed

Sloth

and I have committed every one of them.  Damn proud of it, too.

Why you should be Proud

   Why shouldn't you?  You have to have something to be proud of.  Maybe you're proud of yourself, your grades, whatever.  You might have a big dick (applies to men).  Did you beat the shit out of that dumbass football jock?  Was the dragon kick administered to discipline your kid?  There are plenty of things to be proud of.  If you have nothing to be proud of, then you really suck ass.

Why you should be Envious

   There is no fucking way in hell you can't envy anything.  Ever.  There will always be something you envy.  Maybe your neighbor is a rich bastard and has his own arcade.  Would you not want your own arcade?  Maybe there's that guy who is a ladies' man.  Were/are you not the popular kid at school?  I'm not, but I don't envy popular people.  Maybe your friend got the newest video games for his birthday and all you got was a something that you hated (like a book or something) and a stupid note with that thought that counts bullshit.  Envy anyone and everyone, because there's always going to be someone better than you. 

Why you should be Gluttonous

   Fuck this bullshit about having to be skinny.  You can gorge down all the fatty foods and all this shit you want, can't you.  All you need to do is afford it.  Fuck the school policy about not selling sodas.  If they fucking want skinnier kids, then enforce more fucking P.E. mother fuckers.  Gluttony does not pertain only to food.  So, why should you be limited on pleasure?  Don't Americans have the right to pursue happiness?  If so, then why must we put a limit to how content we should be?  Fuck not being gluttonous. 

Why you should be Lustful

   "Lust is the self-destructive drive for pleasure out of proportion to its worth."  NOT.  Lust won't destroy you.  Fuck whoever thought that up.  This ties in with gluttony.  You won't self-destruct from being lustful and gluttonous because you're probably not a robot.  Do you have an insatiable lust for that hot cheerleader?  Fuck her!  Bust out with your manliness.  If she's got one of those dumbass jock boyfriends, give him a swift kick in the groin.  If he really loves that chick more than you, he'd get up from that hardcore groin kick and kick your ass.  But he won't, will he?  Maybe you lust for world domination?  Who doesn't?  You can lust for any fucking thing you want.  No one will stop you in your pursuit for happiness.

Why you should commit Wrath

   It's simple.  Wrath kicks fucking ass.  My site is full of wrath.  The same goes for Maddox.  Being intensely angry is one of the best feelings ever.  When I get extremely angry, I burst into flames and I can punch through walls and kill people.  Heavy metal is full of wrath.  Ever listen to the song "I am Hated"?  Pure wrath.  And, Wrath was a great wrestler.  Again, as the aforementioned states: Wrath kicks fucking ass.  Commit it as much as you want.

Why you should be Greedy

   My mom always complains about how greedy I can be.  Do I care?  NO.  Greed ties in with lust.  You can lust for a  whole bunch of materialistic shit.  Mr. Scrooge was greedy.  Where did greed get him?  He got his own story written about him.  There's no fucking way a person can't be greedy.

Why you should commit Sloth

   Two words: Fuck Work.  Work of any sort is likely to suck ass.  Instead of doing homework, I would rather play video games and eat.  Which sounds better: work, or doing whatever the fuck you feel like doing?

   I'd go into more detail and shit, but I don't feel like it.  Anyways, commit the seven sins.  You might feel good about yourself.

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