Tout le Monde,

Wow I don't even remember when was the last time I wrote in here.  Where to start.

I'll tell you girls with quirks not to show emotions in relationships definately has it's ups and downs.  I was in a brief relationship with this certain guy and felt liberated in many ways.   I couldn't talk about it before because I didn't want to jinx anything.  And seeing that now it doesn't really matter I would just like to say how I feel about the subject.

He made it okay for me to feel.  To want someone to accept the need of needing someone.  I've always been independent in terms of the emotions in my life specifically.  But he said, "if you don't share emotions IT WON'T WORK" So here I was with my heart on my sleeve, up in the high heavens being open with him. Showing almost every emotion that I felt, when I felt it.  ... I loved it, I loved wanting him and loved being with him.  I especially loved doing things for him to make him happy.

So how is it when in a short time of five days does that fade away.  He was just as open if not more open than I was with him and he left me with a bullshit excuse that came out of nowhere.  That heart that was left on my sleeve for him to lay kisses upon was torn off, chewed up, and spat out by this contradicting son of a bitch that I want to torture for every frown that fell upon my face.

So yes I am upset,  Yes I can't keep a smile long before turning away and wondering what I have done so wrong that would make him want to leave me.  ....Just like all the others.  Fuck every complaint he had about some bimbo that treated him like shit.  Why would you have done the same thing to me?  That makes you just as bad as they were.  And why the hell would he pass up a good thing?

He took everything.  My emotions, my dignity, my 'save face'.  I'm just left with open ended questions and just wanting to be loved.  Loved by a 'Man' worthy enough of me.  Who loves to be with me, who loves to share with me. 

I am a good person, a good girlfriend at that.  I just wish that they'd see it too.  Then again, the grass is always greener on the other side... till they find that it's made up of weeds and fire ants.

~Miss Lonelyheart yet again