Tout le Monde,

4:30 am and I'm in studio making a physical model of my project and watching, The Notebook.  What the hell this movie triggars a lot of memories.

This movie reminds me of when I was with Air Force 1.  I remember when everything was so clear and days were happy and optomistic.  We loved each other so much.  I miss that.

I don't have a face or a picture of a guy in 'my dreams'.  I don't even think about that these days anymore.  All I know is that I miss being in love.  I remember how good it felt and how free it made me feel.  Nights where I'm up all night just trying to get by I would never feel alone because I would know that I was loved by someone. 

And right now I'm plowing away at my work and watching this God forsaken movie and I'm starting to feel that fuzzy comfort zone of being in love, but the reality of it is, I'm not 'in' love and there isn't anybody that loves me.  Not that, that's supposed to be depressing or anything it's just a fact,  I don't have anyguy right now that would love me like that.  I'm fine with or without that, it just sucks getting these spurts of feeling but not having any place to put it.  I can't put a face to this tingling inside.  Nobody is the cause of it, it's just this movie and I am missing it.

~ love